#302 What’s Really Sabotaging Your Relationships (Hint: It’s Your Internal Driver)

2025-05-12

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Hey Friend! Have you ever left a conversation thinking, “Why did I say it that way?” or “Why didn’t I just say what I really meant?” The truth is, most communication breakdowns don’t come from what’s said—but from what’s left unsaid or misunderstood beneath the surface. In this episode, we’re unpacking how your core motivation (aka the driving force behind your words, reactions, and silence) can either strengthen or sabotage your relationships. Whether you're avoiding a hard conversation, trying too hard to be understood, or feeling overlooked, this conversation will give you language, self-awareness, and...

Hey Friend!

Have you ever left a conversation thinking, “Why did I say it that way?” or “Why didn’t I just say what I really meant?”

The truth is, most communication breakdowns don’t come from what’s said—but from what’s left unsaid or misunderstood beneath the surface. In this episode, we’re unpacking how your core motivation (aka the driving force behind your words, reactions, and silence) can either strengthen or sabotage your relationships.

Whether you're avoiding a hard conversation, trying too hard to be understood, or feeling overlooked, this conversation will give you language, self-awareness, and new ways to move forward with clarity and grace.

💬 "Most of us aren’t communicating—we’re protecting, projecting, or performing."

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🔑 Key Takeaways:

Why we filter truth through fear—and how that affects tone, honesty, and connection
How listening to validate a story (instead of understanding a person) breaks down trust
The real reason we avoid hard conversations—and how that avoidance costs us freedom
Three core behaviors that signal your motivation is at play: Filter, Listen, Avoid
How to ask better questions, show up with self-awareness, and create deeper connections

🧠 The F.L.A. Check-In™:

A quick reflection tool to pause and assess how your core motivation is affecting your current conflict or conversation:

F – Filter: Am I filtering this truth through fear or protection?
L – Listen: Am I listening to validate my internal story or to understand theirs?
A – Avoid: What conversation am I avoiding because I don’t want to feel something uncomfortable?

💪 Challenge if you choose to accept it:

Think of a conversation you’ve been holding off on—either personally or professionally.

Ask yourself:

“What fear is holding me back, and what freedom could come from facing it?”

Then take the first step toward saying what you really mean.

📝 Journal Prompt for Reflection:

“Where in my relationships am I performing or protecting, instead of communicating from my true self?”

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Thank you for being here, Friend. You are capable, you are seen, and you are ready to step into your calling. Choose joy until joy chooses you! 💛

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For more information on the song:
Guitalele's Happy Place by Stefan Kartenberg (c) copyright 2017 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license. https://dig.ccmixter.org/files/JeffSpeed68/56194 Ft: Kara Square (mindmapthat)

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