Am I Putting Too Much Pressure On My Kid?

Buckle up people, we’ve got another exciting episode for you! Today, we are talking about pressure versus expectation. A question often brought up by parents in our coaching sessions is, “Am I putting too much pressure on my kid?” Join us as we dive into a discussion about the tension between applying pressure versus expectation, and what that looks like. We go through a few real-life scenarios of parents and children and talk about some important points behind the motivation of the pressure. Then, we delve into the importance of encouragement and setting healthy expectations, how it may actually be beneficial to your kid, and why it’s important that parents incorporate mindfulness, self-reflection, and revisiting in their parenting. If you want to learn more about whether it’s a lack of your child’s willpower or maybe some deeper issues, tune in for some great advice. And remember, be easy and gentle with yourselves, parents, as you walk the tightrope between pressure and healthy expectations, and remember, it’s okay to make mistakes. 

 

Key Points From This Episode:

 

• [0:00:54] An introduction to our topic for today.
• [0:02:00] A question parents often ask regarding pressure!
• [0:02:30] The quadrant chart for applying pressure.
• [0:05:00] Thoughts on the scenario Cathy shares regarding pressure.
• [0:06:30] We question the different motivations behind “applying pressure”.
• [0:08:20] Meredith shares a situation from her coaching.
• [0:10:00] Encouragement versus pressure.
• [0:11:08] Discerning when to encourage your children.
• [0:11:40] Why the frame [of the pressure] is important.
• [0:12:35] What bugs Meredith about the concept of parental pressure.
• [0:14:40] Why parental expectation might actually be beneficial for children.
• [0:17:45] What secure attachment in adolescence looks like: attainment.
• [0:19:20] When family values can become a guide for children.
• [0:20:30] The importance of mindfulness, self-reflection, and revisiting in parenting.
• [0:24:10] Exploring the trust piece and why it’s key when working with teenagers.
• [0:24:30] Cathy shares another scenario from her coaching regarding parental pressure.
• [0:27:25] What research shows about pressure combined with zero agency.
• [0:28:20] Meredith shares her thoughts on Cathy’s second scenario.
• [0:31:10] Cathy’s suggestion to the parents of the second scenario.
• [0:33:40] Finding intermediary steps in the scenario.
• [0:35:20] Tips on managing stress and anxiety (as it relates).
• [0:35:40] How culture can play a role in certain situations.
• [0:37:00] Meredith shares another scenario; therapy and culture. 
• [0:40:30] Too much pressure and not enough clarity around expectations.
• [0:41:07] Why it’s important for parents to have, and seek out, support around them.
• [0:45:00] Why bringing compassion is so important, to everyone.
• [0:45:15] Keep your eye on the long-term prize, it’s not a straight line.
• [0:46:55] Meredith shares an interesting article about meaning and purpose.
• [0:48:36] The big takeaway from today.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

'How Smart People Can Stop Being Miserable'

Man's Search For Meaning

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram