59 - Tubgirl Time Machine (feat. Ashley ”Boxxy” Jones)

(TL;DL Content Creator Too Insecure to Create Content) (SNL for Libertarians) (POV Homschoole Autist Roleplay ASMR) 

 

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Hello I'm gay....

In honor of pride and Filipino heritage month I have reluctantly invited my very first transexual transracial guest. Here to discuss all things gay is controversial loli content creator, renowned plAYtonic philosophy vlogger, thiel-funded horse whisperer, 4chan refugee, recipient of more than 1 million cum tributes, mtv movie award funniest girl, poet laureate of the state of Alabama, little saint James survivor and denier, adrenochrome advocate, huge fucking faggot, CEO of phone bad eyeroll emoji Facebook group, Entrepreneur at Grind Never Sleeps inc. and Dean of the school of hard cocks and/or Knocks:

Boxxy

I mean Soph

I mean Rose

I mean Ashley Jones

 

Just kidding. It's just me again. You're probably wondering how I got here. Ashley I'm happy to plug you as we previously discussed tho, to show my appreciation not only for making me aware of peertube and inspiring me to host my content, but for also reminding me what real mental illness looks and sounds like. tubgirl, icum.to if you'd like to experience a more extreme version of what i do but with zero self-awareness. 

 

After a brief email exchange, Ashley called me at 2 in the morning to discuss being on each other's shows/collaborating on video content. I found that our content has a lot of similarities thematically and stylistically, greenscreens and questionably ironic homophobia and whatnot, so it seemed like a good fit for a guest that can actually hold her own instead of just being a live studio audience like my previous guests. It turns out during our long 2 hour conversation I didn't give her enough affirmation and audibly laugh/guffaw at her quirky silly mildly shocking but dated quips that most of her simps go crazy for, because she is used to being the center of her own world like any good solo edgy content creator should be. She was disappointed when she found out she gets a lot less laughs from people who don't waste inordinate amounts of time consuming her shitposts and jerking off to her, and she projected her own insecurities on me. Essentially pulling the "oh what's wrong, too edgy? Am I too weird for you? Uncomfortable hmph? Too much for you woke sheep??" thing that open mic comics do when nobody laughs at their trite jokes. I let her ""jokes"" hang in the air to really let them sink in, cuz unfortunately when you're alone in your room quietly recording and editing and uploading for an audience of lonely deranged men online, believe it or not, you're never pushed to understand or acknowledge the concept of comedic timing. I'm sure most find her incredibly forced effort to be charming and endearing but Ashley doesn't realize the context is the only real punchline. The idea that she writes, records, edits, uploads, and pays to host her own content, and at no point does it seem she seriously questions the comedic or entertainment or educational value of what she does. Now I certainly follow all of those same steps, but with full acknowledgement and acceptance that what I produce is inherently bad content and should not be consumed by anyone. Unfortunately it seems Ashley is confident enough to think people should watch and support her hobby, yet she's still extremely insecure and ultimately just begging for affirmation that most people get from uh, iunno thirst traps on Instagram and TikTok and twitter and tinder. Ashley's platform is extremely anti mainstream social media, and so she doesn't realize her jokes are about 5 years behind and have been rehashed with 12 layers of irony by funnier black trans teens on twitter and instagram. She certainly seems to catch wind of the joke eventually, but only after it's been diluted and distilled through her own detached and hyper-fringe fanbase. She's essentially  created her own insular algorithmic bubble by letting her own fans feed her more content via her own self-hosted forum, website, and tubesite. Again, very impressive effort that gives the illusion of high quality, but certainly with time will hopefully grow into something with some semblance of self-awareness.

 

Anyway so she felt that we didn't click because I wasn't literally rolling on the floor laughing, and so she cancelled. Admittedly I spend a lot of time on mainstream socials, and so I suffer from a degree of irony poisoning that makes Ashley's content seem like the kind of social critique one would expect from a 47 year old Gavin McInnes enthusiast. SNL for libertarians. One example of her quips that she seemed to really lean into was something about how black people never have batteries in their smoke detectors, so it must be annoying to have to hear the beeping every 30 seconds. but it seemed like this is the kind of face-value racist observational humor she has come to expect to get big laughs, probably from an audience who just straight up hates black people and haven't already heard 80 versions of the same joke 2 years ago lmao. It's "woooo I agree with that!! She said my views HAHA" type comedy. Certainly racism can be extremely funny, but when presented in an allegedly comedic context, just saying the racist thing without adding any spin or original thought is just lazy and low brow. Unless you wanna cop out and claim it was performance art all along to prove a point a la Sam Hyde stand up circa 2015. In which case, damn I got Punk'd!!

 

 I attempted to reassure her that she certainly is very clever and witty in a smirk emoji, nose laugh sort of way, and that i could cue up a soundboard laughtrack and do my best Jimmy Fallon desk slap if it would make her feel more comfortable and confident. While she is well into her 20s she certainly maintains the mindset and attitude of average jailbait. All I received in response to my very thoughtful and thorough message is an accusation that my depression prevents me from enjoying her jokes, and attached picture of goatse. I admit I was extremely disappointed to learn about her fragile ego in this manner.

 

Now I could certainly get really butthurt about being insulted and shamed by a stranger on the internet. But this is precisely the kind of situation I put my own fans in all the time! And likewise encourage them to avoid at all costs by not interacting with internet entities in any meaningful way. One could easily point out the hypocrisy. I am no different from Ashley. She is a reflection of a lot of the most negative qualities I find in myself and tend to ignore. And only because I find myself pointing out these obvious flaws in someone else, I'm reminded that I have been cringe all along. Because I have had 5 years more years than her to become better than her as a person, and I am not. I responded to her email, I spoke to her, and I treated her like a real person the whole time. Classic mistake. None of it is real, and as soon as someone starts to take it seriously, they lose. 

As evidenced by the fact this exists and you are consuming it, it is clear that I absolutely took the jailbait and lost. I won't even hide behind a disclaimer this time. 

 

Anyway here is what I prepared for our episode. Hopefully she won't waste any more time consuming my content, but if she does, a mature and serious response is certainly welcome. There is nothing more inane than content creators public beef.

 

How did this interaction come to be?

1. You peruse xvideos/porntube sites to "criticize other women" to make yourself feel better. I assume this was a facetious statement
2. you find my videos/website and proceed to send an email plugging your own content and website
3. We exchange emails, I set up my own peertube site, and discuss possibility of doing this show/collaborating in general because of a similarity in style
4. Our first verbal conversation is a 1 am phone call you initiated, the first topic being geraldo's depression that you detected, as an empath, after watching 2 and a half episodes of Edge Game. Off the bat, you, an internet stranger, proceed to make a seemingly earnest suggestion to me, an internet stranger, that one could find hobbies and stop using the internet in order to alleviate depression. In this particular situation, I was inclined to wholeheartedly agree as this interaction was a direct result of using the internet, made possible by the internet, and was causing me some degree of emotional distress and mental anguish. Some would sum it up as brain damage. This applies to the conversation we are currently having as well.
5. This reinforces my stance on having a perpetual detachment from anything and anyone you interact with on the internet, especially people who tell you to stop using the internet, or tell you how to use the Internet. While  usage can certainly provide many short and long-term benefits, unless you constantly moderate and limit your usage, it has a net negative effect on your health and productivity. DID YOU KNOW Phone bad computer bad ha ha so CRAZY.

But nonetheless I truly CARE and APPRECIATE that people still get SO invested in their favorite personalities lol :) especially in these trying times we still need people to pretend to be our friends :)

 

Anyway how would you describe the kind of content you produce, in all mediums.

Any major influences to credit or do you claim to be independently minded like any good pseudointellectual

Where did you start, and where does it end

Peertube and general future proofing tips

 

As I previously said, I am open to having you on whenever you feel more secure about whatever it is you feel may be too weird for me. I have no problem whatsoever with anything you said, and I still think you would be great on the show. Shitposting never has to be high-quality. I hope that makes sense to you. Anyway this cum is for you Ashley Jones. I'm sorry your autism gets in the way of your life, and I'm even more sorry for assuming your autism was a bit. I hope the retrospective cringe hits you like a truck. Cheers. like comment subscribe to Ashley Jones @ icum.to