”HOW FAITH, HOPE & LOVE NURTURE A HEALTHY MARRIAGE”, Tony & Karen Heath, Thames Valley churches of Christ

1 Cor 13

    “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.     Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.   And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:1–13 NIV11)

• Reflecting on where we are now after 29 years of marriage.
• Faith; Hope; Love
• The relationship began 31 years ago with sharing a smoke! 6 months later moving in together. Invited to church just before married.
• Studied the Bible and baptised in a week.
• God’s timing was perfect. It was the right time for them.
• Relationship supported them in the early days, and have continued to be so.

1. Faith
   • Believe you are with the right person. Working out how to make this work.
   • ““Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”” (Matthew 19:3–6 NIV11)
     • ‘Mission statement' for the Heath marriage
   • Faith demonstrated by continuing to want to learn from others
     • Not all advice accurate/helpful
     • Be wise how listen
     • Be accountable to self for how apply advice. Take responsibility for interpretation of what you hear from others.
     • Goal in helping a couple is to help each person listen to the other
   • Expectations of each other
     • One of the most tricky areas to negotiate
     • Hard to consider the other rather than self when setting expectations
     • What will ‘work’? That’s what will make you happy.
2. Hope
   • “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3–5 NIV11)
   • Vital regarding raising children. We work so hard at this.
     • Help them have their own faith.
     • Would have worked harder at this in hindsight
     • Not lose hope for children who have drifted from faith
   • Face reality
     • If children not spiritual, don’t hide.
     • Be happy in Christ, so as to give them their best chance.
     • God wants you to have joy in any situation.
     • Fight to remain proud of your children
3. Love
   • Forgiveness crucial
     • We sin against one another more in marriage than any other relationship in life
     • Forgiveness not dependant on repentance. Unconditional forgiveness a sign of a healthy marriage.
   • Unconditional love.
     • Lk 15 - prodigal. The son was allowed to walk away. The father did not chase the son, nor accuse him on his return. Example of unconditional love.
   • “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:7–8 NIV11)
     • Intimacy is awesome, but also a challenge. Harder to accept the people we know best.

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God bless,

 

Malcolm

 

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