"I’ve questioned a lot in my life, 'Why am I here?' I think we all have had those moments. What is the point? Why am I… Especially me, I’m like, 'Why have I been born into such a crazy, isolating situation? Why ME?' And I know why, now. And it’s to share my story, to help others feel less isolated and less alone, and less weird because we get asked these questions. This is why. And it’s bigger than me. I feel like a lot of our situations that we’re put in, there’s a bigger reason. A bigger why. And now I know. And I’m really pr...
"I’ve questioned a lot in my life, 'Why am I here?' I think we all have had those moments. What is the point? Why am I… Especially me, I’m like, 'Why have I been born into such a crazy, isolating situation? Why ME?' And I know why, now. And it’s to share my story, to help others feel less isolated and less alone, and less weird because we get asked these questions. This is why. And it’s bigger than me. I feel like a lot of our situations that we’re put in, there’s a bigger reason. A bigger why. And now I know. And I’m really proud. I’m proud to be me. I’m proud to share my story, because although it’s a unique one, it’s a hard one, but it’s a beautiful one."
Welcome to the Wise Not Withered Podcast! This is Season 4, Episode 9. This month's guest was Rachael Go. I found Rachael through her own podcast, Mix'd Movement, where she and her siblings discuss their experiences being mixed race. Rachael herself is also a life coach, and shares her incredibly unique and inspiring life story full of confusion, isolation, loss, strength, resilience, and love.
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All right! Let’s just get right into it then!
Okay, perfect!
I feel like I always say that… Let’s get into it. Yeah! So, what is your age?
I am 42 years old.
And what roles do you hold in your life? What do you call yourself, what do other people call you?
Well, I am… Oh my goodness, I feel like over the years I have worn a lot—acquired a lot—of skills. My first career: I’ve been licensed for twenty years as a manicurist, and that’s taken me all over the country in various ways. I am a mother of three. And I am also building a career in coaching, and Podcasting! That is where my focus is, and my passion is right now, and will continue to be! (Laughs) Because it’s a really important topic that I’ve decided to start talking about, and helping people work through, which is being mixed race.
And that is… Something that I feel like we haven’t had a space to talk about it. It’s pretty dynamic, and kind of unique to be mixed race. And especially my age, when I was younger, there wasn’t a place to talk about the complexities. It never felt safe, because nobody really understood. And about two years ago, I had this idea to make that space. Make a change in the world in that realm. So here I am!
Yeah! Oh… There’s so many followup questions I want to ask. Maybe I’ll go in order. So you mentioned you’ve been doing… You’re a manicurist, that means doing manicures? You are the one doing the manicures?
Yes, I am. I am the service provider. And that, especially doing that as long as I have, I feel very blessed to have been able to sit down and get to know people of all ages, all different walks of life, in a very personal and close space. And it’s really interesting when you sit across from somebody directly, they feel a lot safer, and then you add touch—especially physical touch. It’s amazing to me what people have shared with me over the years! I feel very blessed for getting to know so many different people, in such a deep and personal level. Not everyone, but…
That is how my life has changed, though. I’m originally from outside of Chicago, Illinois. The first three years I worked at a salon, on the north side—it was actually my sister’s salon, on the north side of Chicago. And I’ve had several clients, but a few that became friends. And one knew that I wanted to move. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go, and she’s from Washington state. And she said, “You know, I know you want a change! I’m moving back to Washington, if you want to join me!”
And I did! And that was in 2005. Which is wild! (Laughs) I lived here for about three years. And then kind of similar, a hair stylist that I worked with, she and I went on vacation to Maui. We came back, and everything was fine and great and wonderful. Then her life shifted, and she said, “That’s it. I’m moving to Maui. Do you want to join me?” (Laughs) So I moved to Maui! I was there for about three years, then I moved back to Washington.
Okay, I was going to ask how manicuring take you around. But I guess that’s the answer!
Yes, that’s it. Between clients, and coworkers… It’s just kind of in a way that you wouldn’t really expect! Just relationship building.
Yeah, I guess it was important that you mentioned you wanted to move, so your client knew you wanted to move. Putting that out there, having people know what you wanted to do. Yeah… Let’s see… Why don’t you talk about your coaching business? When did you star that, and why? I’m sure there’s so much there!
Yes! It’s funny, because I started this career kind of backwards.
Yeah?
I began with my podcast. And I realized, I completely wanted to build a career in this. I’m very passionate about this topic. I wasn’t sure how to… What facet to go with to earn an income in this realm. And I realized that through the twenty years of being licensed as a manicurist, I’ve developed a lot of really good interpersonal skills! So it just kind of came to me one day. Wow! I have this skill. I also owned a photography business for about five years. And that was great, but I missed working with people.
I learned about coaching, so I decided to apply that into my world. And it is… It has been amazing. Being able to help people like myself—or, actually some people not like myself—work through some really deep things, structure a plan to make shifts in their lives that they’ve always wanted to but had never been able to. I have helped a couple of my clients move out of areas where they didn’t feel safe, because of their race.
Right.
I am working with somebody who is phenomenal and wants to do big things and build an addiction facility for mixed race individuals, because we are the highest demographic to be susceptible to addiction, homicide, depression… So it’s been very rewarding, very incredible in a way that I didn’t expect.
Yeah. And I don’t know if I missed, how long have you been doing it now?
Two years!
Two years, okay.
So I’m relatively new in the coaching realm. But I don’t feel like I am, because of how long I’ve worked directly with people. This is just in a different facet.
Mhm, like more focused now on that versus like, you’re kinda doing is as you’re… Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, cool! What’s the name of your coaching business?
My coaching business is Love Yourself Coaching. My email address is Coach Rachael Go. And my Podcast is the Mix’d Movement.
Yeah! So talk more about your Podcast! I have listened to I think the first five episodes, and a few others. It’s so great. I am also mixed race, too, and it also felt like, wow these are things that I didn’t realize so many people were experiencing. It’s so relatable!
Oh, I’m glad to hear that. Thank you.
Yeah! So you’ve been doing that also for two years, right?
It launched in May of 2022.
Oh, so it’s been like a year and a half.
Yeah, a year and a half. I mean, it took a lot to get it up and running. (Laughs) But… I love the backstory, I’m not gonna lie. It’s amazing what beautiful things can stem from tragedy.
Right.
I’ll start with my family members. My co-hosts are my half-siblings. We knew of each other, growing up, but we weren’t raised in the same household. We shared the same father, and they share the same mother and father. I didn’t hold a relationship with my father—I wasn’t really allowed to, growing up. My mother had her reasons, and I understand that.
But about four and a half years ago, I received a message from my half-brother saying that our dad was not doing well, and he’s being put into hospice. So I flew down to Texas to see him and say my final good-byes, and that was when we reconnected as siblings. And my sister pulled me to the side—it was just her and I in the room with our dad—and explained to me that she’d always wanted a relationship with me, and was really sad that that hadn’t happened. And she looked at me, and of course I’m crying my eyes out, and she said, “Can we start over, now? Will you be my sister?”
And ever since then, every single day, she and our brother have texted each other “Good morning”, every single day—I don’t think we've missed a day. We FaceTime pretty regularly. And we’re pretty close! We haven’t definitely where we, I guess left off. And I love and appreciate them so much. It’s like we were raised together.
And then a couple of years ago, I faced a major loss. My home flooded, and I also at the same time had ended a relationship that ended very badly. I had to go through a four-month battle to get a restraining order put in place. So I lost my home, I felt like I was hiding—or put into hiding. And here I am, a single mother with three children and nowhere to go. And I just stopped for a moment and thought about it.
I had spent so much panicked, in panic mode. And I was advised to… Sit, and face it, for a moment—by my therapist, who is brilliant! And in that time, I thought, “Okay, what do I want to do now?” Everything I knew, that I had, that was, is no longer. And I realized, I’m like, “This is actually the cleanest slate any adult could get!”
Yeah.
I have nothing! (Laughs) I closed my photography business. That was when this idea stemmed. I said, “You know what? Since I have nothing left to lose, and only everything to gain, I’m going to put myself out there. I want to start this Podcast. I want it be about mixed race, because we don’t have a space to talk about these things.” And so I called my half-siblings, and I asked them, “Are you in?” And they were like, “Absolutely! Let’s do this!” (Laughs)
So that was when the idea was born! Through a tragic, traumatic experience, but it’s been incredible. Absolutely incredible.
Yeah, that was about to be my next question, like when did you find the strength to… But I mean, you answered it.
Through loss!
Yeah! I mean, I can definitely relate. Hitting that really low point… Like, this is the time to make a change. That’s amazing. Yeah, I guess talking a little more about your coaching… How have you noticed like, changes within yourself, as you have…
Oh my goodness! (Laughs)
So you mentioned you have had a therapist, but then being on the other side of that, like in a more purposeful way—yeah, how have you noticed your own self change?
I… Wow, where do I start? I feel like I have gained more than ever in this realm, in coaching. I would say probably my biggest, lately… It’s a beautiful story. I’m honored to be in this position. I hosted a workshop at a women’s retreat, and it was a smaller group, and it was lovely. And my topic was connection and vulnerability, and how that can lead to your tribe. This was a group of women from all different walks of life, ages spanning from 20’s to 40’s. I had everybody do an exercise. My intention for them was to just write it down. But at this point in our day together, we were all really comfortable with one another.
And my question was, “Can you think of a time where you hid who you were to be accepted, because you thought you weren’t going to be?” And everybody wrote down… And I said, “If you would like to share—” because I knew a lot of this information was deeply personal. So “If you would like to share, you can share.” And almost everybody did, and it wasn’t superficial. It was deep-rooted, really painful things. And I cried, listening to a lot of this.
But my biggest takeaway from that experience was… I no longer look at people with the eyes of… I feel like a lot of us human beings have judgement. That is how we learn and grow, or learn about our environment and the people that we’re around. And I know at some point, especially my younger self would question, like, “I wonder what her house looks like.” Just silly, superficial things. But now, every single person I meet, I question, “What have you overcome? What battle have you fought and overcome?” Or “What are you going through silently, that you’re not talking to anybody about?” Because every single one of us has a story. Every single one of us has been through something, to whatever degree. And I greet people—new people especially—with a lot more compassion and understanding than I used to. I’ve never been a mean, judgmental person, but that is now in the front of my mind, knowing that truthfully, we’ve all been through some hard things. It’s crazy! A lot more compassion for people.
Yeah. That’s beautiful. Do you do those kinds of workshops very often?
I am calling more into my life right now. Speaking events, as well. I was a speaker at a small event at a winery, this summer. And that was a phenomenal experience, also to be able to get up in a room of women, and talk about the things that are really important to me, and share my story and my experience, especially to further other people’s understandings of… We’ve all been through things. You can’t guess just by looking at somebody! Don’t judge, and think to yourself, “Wow. Her life must be perfect.” Cause nobody’s life is perfect.
Yeah, definitely. Wow. I guess a little more open-ended questions: What inspires you?
What inspires me? Oh my goodness! So I… Everything! (Laughs) A lot of things inspire me, but most of all, I am encouraged and built out of love. And anything that I do, I know will come back to me. So when I go about my day, I always start with love first. Also, being a mom of three children… Sometimes it gets a little tested throughout my day. But truthfully I firmly believe you get back what you put out.
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Full transcript available on wisenotwithered.com!
