August 28 - Divorce

August 28 - Divorce 

 

 

How committed are you to other people? 

 

Remember, Jesus is trying to make sure that we understand the calling. First, be who God designed you to be, and the result - you will be really good about caring for others and putting them first. 

 

But let’s be honest, we aren’t to good at that as a human race. 

 

Quick disclaimer, today’s text is going to talk about marriage. But I think it’s deeper than marriage. So please allow me the liberty to redirect how you might normally look at this text. Because the truth is, we are really bad at commitment. 

 

From all that I’ve seen, it is easy to care for people until it costs us too much. Then it’s easier to walk away from them and even cut ties with them. I’ve watched this play out with Christians too many times. They are friends with people and enjoy being around then, but once something happens and one of their friends is in some sort of need, they cut them off. Say they have a sinful problem that they are trying to overcome - their community alienates them. Or sickness comes, and people might be willing to put together a meal train, but please don’t ask them to come and spend time with the sick person and pray over them, or God forbid they check in on them and see how they are doing too much. 

 

Now I get that there are several Christians listening to this podcast right now, who are very good at caring for others. You are one of the first ones to respond when someone is hurting or in need. I’m grateful for people like you! But the truth is, just because someone is a Christian, doesn't mean that’s their response. In fact, I’ve even watched church leadership get this wrong throughout the church at large. 

 

Recently I was talking to a couple who were working at a church. One of them was let go because of something in their past that resurfaced. The accusations were false, and the person accusing didn’t press charges 13 years ago because they don’t have anything they can prove. In fact, all the evidence and the timing of the alleged incident are completely debunked by other life events happening in this person’s life at the exact same time. But they were let go because it is dangerous for the church to not respond. 

 

I get that. In a day and age where society is trying to build a case against the church, and legal issues are constantly siding in favor of the complainant no matter the proof - or lack there of - I get that this person was let go.

 

The concern is that their spouse was still on staff. 

 

For the next few month, she was told that this had no bearing on her position. Yet time and time again, she would run into a problem that would arise and be reprimanded for boundaries that were unclear.  3 months later, she too was let go. 

 

When talking with this couple, I asked them what their church had done to help them navigate the problem. To which they replied, “nothing.” 

 

For three months they were still connected to the staff of the church, and no one reached out to help them navigate a really confusing and difficult situation. Let me make sure I’m clear at what I am saying - the couple was walking through an extremely difficult time, one which multiple pastors were aware of including the senior pastor, and NONE of the pastoral team reached out to see how they could help them navigate this. 

 

This couple’s situation isn’t isolated. I’ve talked to so many people who have worked for a church, and have walked away completely disappointed at the lack of shepherding they received as being a staff member. If we, as pastors and church leadership, can’t find out how to properly support, encourage, and partner with those in need, how will we ever help the rest of the church. 

 

I’ve watched pastors try to avoid certain members of the church who require extra grace and time. I’ve heard pastors talk about their flock with eye rolls and sarcasm. 

 

There is a problem in the church - which indicates the problem in Christian culture, of not being committed to those in need, or those who we differ from. 

 

This is in conflict with the heart of Christ.  

 

Ok. So now we get into the next piece of the sermon on the mount. Vs. 31-32

 

It has been said, ‘anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

 

You might be asking, why did I start out by talking about helping others, when Jesus was talking about divorce. 

 

Well, you have to understand the heart of God around marriage. This is symbolic of our commitment to him. We, the promised bride of Christ, are guilty of constantly walking away from Jesus in order to pursue our own desires. Yet he refuses to divorce us, and continually offers himself as a sacrifice to make us right. He is not wiling to let us go, no matter what we’ve done. 

 

And the goal, is that we would treat others the same. 

 

Yes, Jesus is talking about divorce. He is referring to the fact that the plan was for a couple to be together forever. This is a representation of God’s commitment to us. But I think this goes deeper here. If we can’t be committed to the people of God, how will we ever be committed to God? Jesus is using this sermon on the mount to show us what our relationship with others should be like. And if we are willing to divorce our spouse, and walk away from them, how much more willing are we to walk away from others in need, or walk away from the LORD.

 

There is something to be said about caring for others. 

 

And even more to be said about commitment to others in order to show them the love of Christ. God’s plan is that we would show love and help people find wholeness. This only happens if we are willing to walk with others through difficulty. 

 

Ok, real quick, let’s talk about marriage. Jesus says in Matthew 19 that God never wanted divorce, but the stubbornness of mankind was going to do it any way, so he gave them rules to follow. But the truth is, God desires a couple work it out. This is the demonstration of sacrificial love that puts others first. The more a couple learns to do this, the more they can do it for others. And just so you know, I’ve helped many couples through infidelity, and they are stronger and healthier now than they ever were before. So it is possible for God to reconcile and rebuild a marriage. 

 

It is so easy for us to walk away from the people who disappoint us. 

 

But It is clear that the heart of Jesus is to find reconciliation with others. 

 

We weren’t meant to isolate others, and Jesus shows us this in the marriage analogy. It only causes more hurt and sin when we push people away when they’ve hurt us. We must be people who learn to commit to others and grow through difficulty. We must stand beside those who are in need, and help those who are hurting. If we don’t, we are breaking the heart of the one who is so committed to us, that he would use marriage as a symbol of his commitment. 

 

I hope this isn’t confusing. 

 

The bottom line is this, Jesus calls us to commit to him. And we do that by committing to others in a way that sees past their weaknesses and difficulties. If you want to apprentice Jesus, learn to do the same. Commit to helping those in need, stand beside those who are walking through hardship, and stay focused on building relationships that outlast any circumstance. 

 

If you do this, I know it will help you understand what you believe, and why you believe it to be true. Please know that I not only love you, but am committed to helping you in any way that I can. 

 

And as you practice commitment to others, may God bless you.