Beyond ADHD A Physicians Perspective Ep 10: Procrastination

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh: So today I want to talk about a question that I get all the time from my clients. And it's a question that was also always on my mind.

Hi, welcome to beyond ADHD, A Pysician's Perspective podcast. I am your host, Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh. I'm a family medicine doc, with ADHD, practicing in a rural setting in Texas. I am a mother to two very energetic toddlers for three and four years of age.

 

And in the past year, I have undergone radical transformation after discovery, ADHD coaching, and life-coaching. For the past decade, my typical day consisted of having 300 charts, backlog, a graveyard of unfinished. And a lack of time awareness. I didn't realize that I was not filling my own cup. I was running on fumes the last year I figured out the secret; learn to stay in your lane. So now my mission is to help others develop systems that tap into their zone of genius. So they too can reclaim their personal lives back. Like I have.

 

I would constantly ask myself, how can I just stop procrastinating? What is it that other people are doing? That they just do what they need to do and they don't think about it twice. And why can't I do that? I would ask myself what's wrong with myself. I don't understand why I have all this best intentions and they just never happened.

I had to get a lot of coaching on it myself, and really I had to do some reflection and I had to come to understand that sometimes we are not really procrastinating. Like sometimes we are just not having the right class. We think we want to do something, but we're not even sure of what that is. And so it's really hard to do something when you don't even know what you're trying to do.

I know it sounds silly. Listen, what I mean, when we are going to go somewhere, if we decide we're going to go to the store, we made that decision, right? Like we said, we're going to the store to go get X, Y, and Z. If we're already been to that store before, we might not have to look up the directions or anything like that.

But if we never been to that place, it would make sense that we would slow down enough to put the address in our GPS so that we can actually arrive to the destination that we want. However, most of us don't think that way. Sometimes we don't want to get off the spinning wheel because we feel like it's going to slow us down.

We feel like we have hit momentum and we need to keep going. But sometimes when you slow down enough, you get clarity. And so if you're putting off something that you have told yourself, you want it to be. For example, let's say as we're now in the new year, right? Like let's say, you've always had this intention of wanting to lose weight or of wanting to start to exercise.

If you are not clear on a lie, you want to do that and how you want to do that, then it's not really going to happen. And you're going to feel like, again, you're procrastinating. The one thing that you told yourself you would do. The lack of clarity. I keep going back to that when a task is too big or the task is too boring, it just feels like it paralyzes us.

It feels like too much work who wants to do so much work thing is people with ADHD. We're not afraid of hard work. Don't get me wrong. If that thing is motivating enough for us, we will do it. And we were burned ourselves out doing it because we're so excited about it. So it's so important to check yourself when you think you're procrastinating on something like, again, losing the weight, ask yourself, do I really know what I want?

Is the goal to lose five pounds or is the goal to be able to walk up the stairs or is the goal to fit on a specific size of clothes? Having that clarity just right there could help you take the next steps. So if it is that I, you just want to get more healthy that you don't want to be short of breath as you're going up the stairs, then deciding.

That I am going to start to exercise. What am I going to do? I'm going to walk. 10 minutes a day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and it's going to be at the park and I'm going to bring my music. And I'm going to listen to a podcast as I'm doing that. If you're that clear on what it is that you're doing and why you're doing it because you don't want to be short of.

Then it's a lot easier for you to stop putting off the things that you kept telling yourself you were going to do. So you have to put it on your calendar because people with ADHD, you already know it's only two types of time now and not now. And so if it's not on your calendar somewhere, it is just not going to happen.

So you gotta make sure that you prioritize this. If this is something that is truly important for you and that. The next question is that sounds simple. Right. But the next question really is one that is so important that you ask yourself, is this really important? Like this task that I've been putting off, is it important?

Can it be done today or can it be done by somebody else or, or should I just let it go? That it's not the right time to do? Why wouldn't it be the right time? We are so used to doing things sometimes because we feel like society has, um, this expectation of us to do it, but we don't realize. Sometimes we didn't even rest.

Right. We haven't slept. We have been, uh, taking a shower. We haven't had a day off from work. It's been three months and you haven't had a day off yet and your kids were sick and you had COVID, you don't realize that your body is not trying to be a rebel. Your body's just tired. There is not, it's not just procrastination.

Like you really have to check your. Is this the right time for me to be doing this? How are things in my energy field? Did I sleep last night? Did I eat, you know, on my frustrated about something else? That is a live situation that happened, right? Life happens. We're not robots. We're not meant to just keep going, going, going, going, just like the battery in the car that needs to get charged black, the gasoline in the tank that needs to happen for the car to keep going.

You two need to rest you two need to refill that energies. And so whether it's spiritually, whether it's by exercise, whether it's nutrition, whether it's by singing a Nancy, like you need to refurnish your cup, it goes back to the same thing. Was I being like unmotivated or was I procrastinating on something that I wanted to do?

Is that a character? I'm not trying to give you more excuses. Cause believe me, we all make those. But what I'm trying to get you to do is to have at least some awareness that sometimes your body's doing what it's meant to do. It's pushing off things that are not considered an emergent type of thing. And it's trying to give you the, a warning that you need to rest, that you need to take care of yourself first so that you can help care of others.

So, if you really want to stop procrastinating, you need to get clear. You need to know what your intentions are for that day. How are you going to accomplish it? Ask yourself, do I have everything that I need to do that task that I want to do? So if you decided you were going to exercise. Do you have the sports bar?

Ready? Do you have your water bottle ready? Do you have your tennis shoes? Ready? Do you have everything that you need to accomplish? The tasks that you were set out? If let's say you have to stay for your board exams, do you have your question back with you? Do you have your journals? You were going to do.

Do you have a babysitter who's actually taking care of your kids so that you can study. Did you block off time? So there, you're not trying to see patients in between. I know it sounds silly, but you need to do the basics. You need to make sure you have the tools that you need, that you're in the correct environment that you need.

And that when the time comes, you just do it. Don't second. Guess yourself, do it. And then re-enact. Hey, what worked well? What didn't work? Well, what can I use going forward? And then ask yourself, have I really taken care of myself? Did I sleep? Did I eat, did I, did I ask for help? Because asking for help is a big strength.

A lot of us want to think that we're just going to do things on our own. No, you need to ask for help. Nobody. Nobody is their own island. I hope you take some tips to. I hope that what you can come away with today is that your mindset is everything. If you are feeling overwhelmed, if you're feeling like you're not enough, ask yourself, why am I having these thoughts?

Is my brain trying to protect me from something? Did I even eat? Did I sleep? What's going on? Just ask yourself. You cannot be in your head and be a detective at the same time. Take care of yourself, take care of each other and nature. You reframe the question. If you are brain asks you, how can I stop procrastinating?

Ask yourself, am I really procrastinating? Is this something that I want to do or not? Am I trying to eat the whole elephant at once? You need to take a bite size of that elephant and eventually. You will, you will take care of it and make sure that you ask yourself, what is the one thing I can do to move forward.

If this is a project that I am really trying to do and who can I ask for help? Because remember everybody has their own sown of genius. I would go to a specialist if I needed some. So that's how you should see it. What DIA, can you ask? What friend can you ask? What neighbor can you ask? Because everybody has their own sown of genius.

You have to tap into that so that you too can get the answers that. They're all there. The universe is waiting to give them to you just have to be willing to ask the right one,

As someone who understands that time is your most valuable asset, I am so honored that you have shared your time with me. Please click the subscribe. And join my Facebook Group: Beyond ADHD A Physician's Perspective so that you never miss an opportunity to create time at will. Do share this podcast with your friends. So they too can learn to live life and stay in their own lane.