CN’S ALL THE RIGHT MOVIES: Jon Moxon Doesn’t Want YOUR LIFE! - VARSITY BLUES

2024-08-14

Friday Night Lights meets raunchy 80’s comedy, we discover Paul Walker, the coach does Hitler salutes and Dawson drops dimes as a 22-yr-old HS senior. Varsity Blues was so wrong and so glorious. “Playing football at West Canaan may have been the opportunity of your lifetime, but I don’t want YOUR LIFE!!” Somehow, some way, the academy failed to hand a gold trophy to James Van Der Beek after delivering that glorious line, but Varsity Blues is still a timeless classic of high school footbal...

Friday Night Lights meets raunchy 80’s comedy, we discover Paul Walker, the coach does Hitler salutes and Dawson drops dimes as a 22-yr-old HS senior. Varsity Blues was so wrong and so glorious.

“Playing football at West Canaan may have been the opportunity of your lifetime, but I don’t want YOUR LIFE!!”

Somehow, some way, the academy failed to hand a gold trophy to James Van Der Beek after delivering that glorious line, but Varsity Blues is still a timeless classic of high school football glory. As well as painkillers, naked whipped cream bikinis, undersized wide receivers who truly belonged in prison, coaches with mid-50’s ideas about minorities scoring TD’s, “Puke & rally!!” being a battle cry instead of a call for AA, etc, etc.

Yeah, we’re gonna have some fun with this one as the college football season is close enough to taste. (Although, the taste of college football is pretty awful if I think about it.)

Comments (3)