Ashe in America and Absolute1776 break down the high-stakes audit of Fort Knox that could expose a massive financial scandal...is the gold actually there, or has it been rehypothecated to oblivion? With Trump, Elon Musk, and Kash Patel all pushing for answers, the establishment is sweating over what this audit might reveal about the real state of U.S. gold reserves.
Meanwhile, federal employees are losing their minds over an email asking them to list five things they did last week. Turns out, some can’t, because they don’t actually exist. Elon hints at a massive government payroll fraud scheme, with phantom employees cashing in on taxpayer dollars for years. With mass firings incoming, expect more bureaucratic tantrums.
Also in this episode: The Pope’s “bilateral pneumonia” mystery deepens, Macron’s wife conspiracy takes an Oedipal twist, and the Maine governor’s drag show history resurfaces...because nothing is real anymore.