10 Second Hug #4

 

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I once had a man in my office during counseling admit to me that he got his hair cut and trimmed and washed about 2 times a month. The reason was he was married and his wife never touched him anymore… and he said he literally needed to be touched to feel normal and this was a safe way for him to feel touched and cared for. 

 

what can a 10 second hug do? 

1 dopamine

2 creates a safe environment for vulnerability

3 relieve stress and boost immune system

4 Today… reignites physical affection 

 

a 10 second hug is a powerful reminder without using words to say I really love you. I say I love you to my kids and my wife all the time… I say it to my grandkids 2 and 3 times a day (they live with me, so that makes it easy) but the reality is simply this: familiarity makes those words have less of an impact. Now I know what you are thinking if you never came from a family like ours… I would never get sick of hearing that… but truth is you can have those words roll of your back like water off a duck.

And if you are trying to reignite some romance and affection into your life you and I both know that simply saying I love you does not always do it. 

Have you ever played this role…

I love you, I love you too

No, I really love you… yeah I really love you too

No I mean I really really love you, more than anything…

Yeah I get it, I love you too….

AAANNNDDDD you walk away with unmet expectations.

 

but touch… a hug, especially a hug with some time behind it starts to touch the soul of the person you fell in love with years ago. They feel it, and you feel it. 

Did you know women almost always make the first touch if they are interested in a man… and yet they are many times the first to quit hugging in a relationship.

But lets look at it from this perspective… a hug for more than 10 seconds is truly meant to be non-sexual. It is simply to connect… but when connection is made and you build on that hug with another hug and another hug and your days are filled with a 10 second hug… it turns that non-sexual hug many times into a roaring infatuation with your spouse again. You once again are attracted to your spouse… and you begin to be attracted to who they are as a person, as a soul and as a part of your life… and not just their body.

 

Why did you stop touching in the first place? Well it typically is apathy and or hurt. When we give up doing what is important apathy storms the relationship and causes us to compare our dreams with reality - but only form our side of the coin. And when trust is broken, we don’t want to touch… but we need to all the more in order to help heal that breach.

Think of Jesus who came to an earth that he knew would hate him, beat him, reject him and crucify him… 

Regardless of where you are in your walk with your spouse or your partner… don’t wait to hug them… you are one spark away from a full blown 5 alarm fire.