91 - Retardophile (feat. GlitterForever17)

watch.goodluckgabe.life 

 

I just fucked my iPhone 15 Pro Max and it was great! It's not as good as fucking a real human being, but it was a lot better than my old shitty android phone. The way that screen vibrates and the way the camera lens bulges out just feels so good. It's like a miniature woman, all soft and smooth and warm in my hand. It's perfect for when you're feeling horny and there's no one else around. Plus, you don't have to worry about getting caught or feeling guilty afterwards. It's just you and your iPhone, getting closer than ever before.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "What about the risk of damaging your phone or getting an STD from it?" Well, let me tell you, you're thinking too much. As long as you use a good amount of lube, you can go at it as hard as you want without hurting your phone. And as for STDs, phones don't have genitals, so you're good there. Plus, have you ever heard of someone getting an STD from a phone? Me neither.

So, what are you waiting for? Go out there, buy yourself an iPhone 15 Pro Max, and start exploring the pleasures it has to offer. Trust me, you won't regret it.

 

forgive english, i am Russia.
i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.

 

That's it? That's the copypasta? That was just PORN. I swear to fucking god I will fucking FUCK you, you fucking stupid piece of fucking shit, you think you’re so slick trying to slip in your fucking erotica on over here? Well you know what else is fucking slick? I bet your fucking boypussy is slick, all moist after you’ve gooned yourself to your masturbatory, sorry, wad of shit fuck text that you try to pass off as a copypasta. What the fuck is here to copy paste huh? What fucking dumbfuck fuck scenario am I to be in to be copypasting about just straight up fucking sex. Has AskReddit fucking rot your mind so much that the only fucking interesting thing your dehydrated testicle of a brain could come up with is just porn??? What am I suppose to do with this text, there wasnt even anything funny or absurd about it. You just talked about sex, thats it, it’s just fucking sex, it’s just fucking fuck fucking fuck you. HAHAHAHAHA tits HAHAHAHAHA dick HAHAHAHAHA damn, that was so entertaining guys, Im so entertained, god im so entertained right now, im so entertained I might start crying. Hahaha, wouldnt it be funny if I started crying guys? Guys I think that would be real funny, just collapse on the floor and turn into a slobbering mess, just cry it all out, wouldnt that be funny? God I think that would be funny. Yeah that would actually be really funny. You know what, you gave me a real good laugh OP, youre not as bad as I thought. As a thank you for that hearty chuckle, you can impregnate my sister.