Conquistador? Conquista-Dead: Magellan, Lapu Lapu, and the Worst Beach Day Ever

Ferdinand Magellan was a glory-hungry Portuguese explorer sailing under the Spanish flag, out to prove he could circle the globe, convert entire civilizations, and maybe pick up a few spice islands along the way. But after months of storms, mutinies, and bad decisions, Magellan washed up in the Philippines thinking he could win a war with fifty guys, a translator, and the power of God. What he got instead was Lapu Lapu—a chieftain with no interest in foreign gods, foreign kings, or foreign bullshit. In today's episode, Ben and Andrew tell the story of an egomaniac’s world tour gone sideways, and the man who sent him home in a box. Well, he would’ve, if Magellan’s crew had ever gone back to get the body.