Taking In Some Holiday Happiness On A Gloomy Day 😶‍🌫️🎄🐶

 

Thankfully, I have three appointments with my therapist next week to address this holiday gloom.

Seems... the closer the holidays get, the more all this new complete change in my life... hits me. Then... 

My mind starts racing, replaying everything like a movie over and over and over again. What could I have done differently? Why did I not defend myself with everything I got?. Why, what, why, what?. Then the anxiety hits. Sometimes... followed with panic attacks. 

In the evening... when I am so exhausted, that I finally lay down... the gloom hits. My therapist calls it, depression. Because I'm not familiar with this new feeling... it's hard for me to understand, why I feel the way I do?.

When you stop constantly living in fear, panic and on the edge... the fog clears, and you are able to finally grasp what you have gone through. For myself, over a decade... and it's not been easy.

At least, I kicked myself in the butt today... did something fun, festive for myself and my never faltering, Snoreo. 

Sometimes... 

You just have to force yourself.

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Free Yourself...My Journey

freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com