The Benefits of being married for a long time!

 

The ones who could best predict which couples were most likely to divorce were the pastoral counselors, the long-married people and those who had divorced. 

*Marriage therapists, counselors and marriage researchers did the worst. I think they are overly attuned to marital problems. They tend to think everyone is unhappy. 

***With the benefit of experience and having seen many marriages both good and bad, older spouses were quite good at this task.

 

The emotional story for long-tern marriages is really quite positive. People who get through the first 15 years of marriage learn to value each other. 

 

 - They don’t have a lot of contempt for one another.  - They accept each other. 

 - They take pride in one another’s accomplishments. 

 - There’s this genuine respect for one another. 

 - They are no longer engaged in futile attempts to change one another.

 -  You increase in patience for each other

 - You understand each other better and better

 -  You go beyond lovers and partners to best friends

 - You learn to share more tasks in marriage

 - Greater and greater boundaries emerge 

 -  Those whose lives are most difficult benefit most from a long term marriage

(you handle stress and problems better than others) 

 

the married women also had lower risk of cardiovascular disease, less depression and loneliness, 

were happier and more optimistic, and had a greater sense of purpose and hope.

 

More long term marital relationships… what many people come to realize is that when you divorce you no longer have the same couple relationships that you had with your spouse.