59 Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults

 

59. Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen

 

**Transcription Below**

 

Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen is a certified sex therapist, award winning researcher, and international speaker who lives in San Diego, California. She and her husband Time have four kids. She has been a parent educator, a marriage, parenting, and sexuality seminar and conference speaker, and yes, a Broadway showtimes performer (her undergraduate degree is in Musical Theater and Vocal Performance).

 

At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen’s Website 

Art of Intimate Marriage by Tim Konzen and Dr. Jennifer Konzen

Redeemed Sexuality by Tim Konzen and Dr. Jennifer Konzen

Intimate Marriage Cards by Tim Konzen and Dr. Jennifer Konzen

Email Dr. Jennifer Konzen

God’s Design For Sex Series by Stan and Brenna Jones

Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp

 

Thank You to Our Sponsor: Chick-fil-A East Peoria

 

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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)

 

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

 

Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

 

Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” 

 

Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” 

 

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

 

Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” 

 

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

 

Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” 

 

Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

 

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

 

Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”

 

Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”

 

Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“

 

Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“

 

Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

 

**Transcription**

 

[00:00:00] <music>

 

Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.

 

[00:00:17] <music>

 

Laura Dugger: Today we have a returning guest, Dr. Jennifer Konzen. I want you to be aware of adult content being discussed today as we talk about having mature conversations with our children. Please use discernment if you have little ears present. 

 

Dr. Konzen has a very impressive bio because she is a certified sex therapist, award-winning researcher, international speaker, adjunct professor, author, wife to Tim, and a mother to their four grown children. 

 

Today we are focusing on parenting as Dr. Konzen shares creative ways we can connect with our kids. She also describes how we can talk about sex and purity with our children. And she gives lots of encouragement to parents. I'm thrilled to get to welcome her back to The Savvy Sauce. 

 

Today's message is brought to you by Chick-fil-A East Peoria. Stay tuned for insider tips we're going to share during the episode. [00:01:23] 

 

Welcome back, Dr. Konzen. Thanks for joining us again. 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Well, I'm glad to be here. 

 

Laura Dugger: You have always had an awesome relationship with your husband and your four kids. Could you just share your wisdom? 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: I don't know that I would call it wisdom as much as the hard knocks of learning. I was just sharing with somebody the other day about how even through the ups and downs of our marriage, I think one of our strengths has always been between my husband and I that we really have a strong mutual respect for one another. 

 

I like my husband and he likes me. And so it's funny how vitally important the liking of one another and the respect for one another is. 

 

I love and adore my children, but even in the midst of all the ages that my children have been, we have always majorly prioritized our relationship. Even when they were little, you know, newly born, we were making sure we would go out and just have time with us. [00:02:26] 

 

Through all the years, we've just made sure that in the midst of parenting, because raising four of them has been full and busy, we've just made sure to work on us and keep us the priority. 

 

Like every couple, there's ups and downs in your marriage. And honestly, I tell you, the fact that my husband loves God is the single best thing about our marriage. So keeping our hearts close to God is vital so that even when you do blow it, because wives, husbands, we all blow it, how to recover from blowing it is huge. 

 

So we all have our foibles and our mistakes and our sins, but if we're relying on God, wow, it goes a lot differently on how you resolve those things. And so I'm really grateful for that in our marriage. 

 

Then we are also... we are major partners in the gospel. So we help teach people the Bible. We help couples in their marriages. We read our Bibles daily. So I can't emphasize enough how important that is. [00:03:31] 

 

But then also we have a lot of couples in our lives. So what that means is they tell us what they see in our marriage. And that's been huge. We have an older couple who mentors and disciples our marriage, and we can go to them about whatever is going on. Then we also have close friendship couples that were all quite blunt with one another. And that has been huge through the years. 

 

And then that definitely feeds over into our parenting. I have close friends who will tell me, Hey, I feel like you were a little harsh with your son there," or, "Hey, have you thought about this area of your relationship with your kids and how you need to grow in this?" So having friends that are willing to share truthful things with you about your kids is vital. 

 

Tim and I have worked really hard at making sure that we're on the same page with raising our kids. Like, we really are. We work really hard at making sure that we're thinking the same as far as disciplinary choices or even, you know, how to teach or train or help or support our kids through different things. [00:04:36] 

 

We are pretty honest with each other when we feel like we're blowing things with the kids, ways that we need to be either more nurturing or more patient or more hardline or any of those directions. So I'd say because that whole reliance on God, that whole having really supportive relationships, and then really working hard at making sure our marriage is great has really helped with everything having to do with parenting.

 

Laura Dugger: That's incredible. A lot of our listeners today are probably in the phase of life where there's young children at home. You had four of them and you had them... were they pretty close together? 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Yeah, they're all two years apart. When my fourth was born, they were six, four, two, and a newborn. 

 

Laura Dugger: Wow. And even in the midst of that, you could have easily made excuses not to prioritize Tim. How did you do that? And what did you do that prioritized him during those early years that you're seeing the payoff even today? [00:05:37] 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Well, on a practical level, I made sure my kids went down to bed... We made sure our kids went down to bed at a very regular hour, and then we would always have an hour or two or more together every evening. 

 

Then all the years before our oldest was 12, we had a co-op of friends, so it would be like three other families, and we would watch all of the kids once a month, and then we would have three dates a month. And that was wonderful. So having, you know, like that whole, you know, it takes a village to raise a child, having a village to help with your kids so that you can get time away. 

 

Then definitely we've always had a pretty active sexual relationship, partially because I just feel like that's vital to staying connected on all levels, especially in the midst of having kids. And so prioritizing your time together sexually. So all of the above. Yeah. 

 

Oh, and going and having fun things, going and doing fun things. Huge, huge, huge, huge, can't measure. My husband is a... he really enjoys the outdoors. I do too. And so really making sure that we have fun together is vital. [00:06:43] 

 

Laura Dugger: Makes me think of that scripture: "This is my lover. This is my friend."

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Yes, big time. 

 

Laura Dugger: And you live that out well. And then also with your kids, I remember first meeting you when they were quite a bit younger, they were all still at home and you did something special with them related to like a midnight date. Could you just share about that? 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Sure. So our goal with our kids is to have time with each one of them alone each week, meaning I would have something alone with two of them one week and he would have time alone with two of them the other week and we'd kind of swap it around so that every week our kid had a time alone with one of us. 

 

Sometimes, in the busyness and craziness of life, that can be a little challenging to fit it in. And so sometimes, because while they were learning... also these were in their early years when they were learning numbers and time and the clock. So I would wake them up at midnight and say, "Look, and they'd learn about what 12 midnight meant. [00:07:48] And I'd say, "Do you want to go to Denny's?" 

 

So our date would be, our time alone would be to go to Denny's at midnight and yeah, have midnight dates. And that's how they, all four of them, learned about what midnight was. 

 

Laura Dugger: That is so fun. How did you find the energy to do that when you had young children at home? 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Well, that one only happened once every couple of years. You know, I made sure to take naps when they napped. I made sure to go to bed at a good time myself. And I made sure to eat well in the midst of that. But energy-wise, yeah... I'm probably one of those people that's kind of filled up by being with other people. So having great connected relationships really helps me have energy for my kids. But then I would definitely say good rest. 

 

I'm pretty decent at making sure that I get time to do things that I enjoy. But well, I did say even more so getting time to enjoy stuff with my husband. And so that is definitely very helpful to my energy level. [00:08:47] 

 

My husband was super supportive. He was the kind of dad that would come home and he's immediately involved with the kids. Immediately. It was never a conflict between us, which I know comes up for couples a lot, where he comes home and he doesn't help, and that kind of conflict that occurs. He was always super supportive. I tell people, just imitate him. It will help life a lot. 

 

Laura Dugger: It can be counterintuitive what you just mentioned, that making sure you're taking care of yourself actually fills you up to pour out well to others. 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Yep, yep, big time. 

 

Laura Dugger: Were there any specific things that you made sure on a daily or weekly or monthly basis you were doing to fill up yourself? 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Well, definitely being in the Bible and praying every day. I also really enjoy reading, so I'll find time to tuck myself away to do that. I live in San Diego, California, so I love going to the cliffs. Even now, as my kids are older, I have an electric bike and I will ride it to the ocean and enjoy the view or I'll ride it around a lake by our house. [00:09:59] 

 

So I think, for me, intellectual stimulation is huge. I really enjoy reading and learning just on an ongoing basis. And then also I I really enjoy goofing around and having fun with friends, and so prioritizing fun with friends is 

 

Then I would say on an overall basis, I do really like to get out in nature. And so almost all of our vacations growing up with the kids have been road trips and camping. We've literally seen probably most of the national parks throughout the states and camped there and enjoyed the wilderness and climbed and hiked and walked around lakes. That definitely feeds my soul. 

 

There's nothing like having a prayer time in the midst of the incredible beauty of anywhere in California, all of the Southwest, Colorado, and then really anywhere we've gone in the United States. It really helps my own enjoyment of God and His creation, and really teaching that to my kids in the midst of it. So that definitely fills me up. [00:11:00] 

 

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Laura Dugger: What is something that you are grateful now that you did in their different seasons, whether they were toddlers, elementary school, high school, and beyond? 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Boy, this is going to sound a little repetitive, but I would say absolutely having time alone with them every week. Parenting can be challenging. My kids have all gone through some really tough things through the years, and when they were younger especially, I just felt like I was constantly disciplining them. It was exhausting. 

 

I remember saying to a woman who was involved in my life then that I wasn't sure was I disciplining her too much. My daughter. She was so naughty, and she said, actually, I don't think your discipline is too much, but I do think maybe you're not having enough fun and you're not laughing enough with her. [00:13:00] And I was like, "Oh." 

 

And so I tell people—this really helped me—up your fun with them. I would tell my husband, whenever I would feel, you know, any higher level of frustration with any of the kids, I would make sure to actually go away overnight with them where it was only them and me and we would play. We would do goofy things and we would go out to eat and do whatever we felt like. And I would take them places and we would enjoy.

 

Actually we do live in California. We'd have Disneyland passes and I would take just one of them with me So we would go to Disneyland all together, but I would take one of them. I would actually Kidnap them from school or I would drive them and drop them all off at school and keep one with me and say, "Wait, don't get out." And then they started to learn this over time. And they'd say to me, "Are we going to Disneyland? 

 

Laura Dugger: Noo. 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: And I would take just that child to Disneyland or Legoland or the zoo or some kind of larger than they got to not be at school that day. So, just prioritizing my time, my fun, laughing time with them was really vital through those years. [00:14:09] 

 

Laura Dugger: Wow, I definitely want to try that myself with my own children. That all sounds amazing, and I'm sure they have incredible memories. 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Yeah, that's the hope. 

 

Laura Dugger: On a little bit more serious topic with your kids, you are a certified sex therapist and you're an expert on this topic. So how did you talk about sex and purity with your children, and even what age did you begin that conversation?

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Sure, that's such a great and important question. So we actually utilized this set of books. It's called God's Design for Sex. I can't remember the authors off the top of my head, but you can Google it, very easy. God's Design for Sex. And then we also used another one. You can find it referred in my book. 

 

We actually have a book called Redeemed Sexuality that's written for singles, campus teens, and parents. So it's got a whole section for parents on how to teach your kids about sex. You can find that referred in there. [00:15:10] 

 

But we would use these books starting at the very first book on... God's Design for Sex is actually for ages like three to five. So at three years old is an explanation on the differences between boys and girls and how babies are in a mommy's tummy and how they're born. So it's not directly on sexuality, but it is on gender and birth. So we did that with all of them at three, explaining their body parts, using the correct words, penis, vagina, so on, for their body, this is the difference between a boy and a girl. 

 

Of course, my older ones saw me pregnant. So we would talk about babies inside of mommy and all of that. Then their next book is like ages, I think like six to nine, I want to say. We had the... this is the book on how sex works, how babies are made. This is the birds and the bees one.

 

At seven... I always recommend to people by the time they hit first grade, there's all kinds of other older ages around them in the elementary school. They're going to be hearing stuff. We think, Oh, my kid doesn't know anything. He's never heard anything. She's never heard anything. No, they're hearing it.[00:16:23]  

 

So we wanted to make sure that we were the first ones to talk to them. That they didn't hear it from their friends., they heard it from us. 

 

At seven, we sat down with those books. It's called How Amazing, something like that. And it's got these hilarious pictures, hilarious pictures, where the egg is spraying perfume on herself, getting ready for the sperm to come flowing up the tubes to her. So we would explain how sex happens and how the penis goes in the vagina, that this is what mommies and daddies do, in detail on how, yes, mom and dad have sex, and yes, people have sex, and this is how babies are made. That was at seven.

 

And then we used the rest of their books and then other materials through the years. Because you don't want to just have that conversation then. We continued to have those conversations periodically throughout grade school and middle school and into high school. Just really giving them an opportunity to ask questions. 

 

Now when they hit those ages they don't want to talk about it anymore most of the time. So you have to be kind of creative. As they hit prepubescence and then puberty and into the high school years, that's not exactly the topic they want to discuss with their parents. [00:17:30] 

 

My kids are all funny. This was long before I was a sex therapist. They were like, yeah, we've always talked quite a bit about sexuality in our family. And so even before I did this professionally, we just felt it was vital to make sure that it was an open, honest genuine conversation through the years.

 

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Going to a broader topic, in general, what encouragement would you have for parents? And you can choose any of the phases you've been through, babies through college. [00:18:45] 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Boy, you know, I think... Here's a practical one for babies. When you put them down for a nap, take one yourself. Get the rest that you need. Toddler years, because often there's a lot of challenges around the discipline of those years, the no from the child is strong, the refusal to obey is strong during those years, and so discipline is generally higher. And so it's really important to enjoy your kids, find ways to enjoy your kids, you know, really nurture your relationship with them. 

 

And I would definitely say, if at all possible, when they start in preschool and elementary school, if at all possible, get involved in their schools, go and volunteer, go on field trips. There's ways to do that even just on a rare occasion to take work off. 

 

I would definitely say that the junior high, the middle school, the high school years, you have to really work hard at staying connected. [00:19:46] A couple of the things that we've always done with our kids is to make sure that we're having a family devotional every week. We have a time of just biblical teaching every week as well as then we eat together. Having dinner is vital. 

 

Staying connected with your kids, there's two books I always recommend. One is Age of Opportunity. I highly recommend that book. The other is Staying Connected to Your Teenager. Dinners regularly, family devotionals. 

 

Actually, our kids are in college and they still come home on Sunday nights for family night. We have dinner together, talk about something spiritual, and then we play games, and so we're pretty competitive. When you come and play games at our house, it's not quiet. 

 

It's hard to have the big, deep conversations if you're not having the continual small conversations. So you have to find ways to be together so that then when you have to have the bigger ones, you've got a better relationship with your children during what could be challenging years. 

 

Definitely through college, I've got three in their senior year, their junior and senior year. Especially for me in the senior year, I took each kid away for a big trip. [00:20:52] Tim took them away to go explore colleges, but he always made sure to do something really fun on those trips. We wanted to make sure that even during those years, we were having some really special times together. 

 

Then as college students, I go do stuff. Actually, I was so thrilled. My son, he was like, I want to say 20 at the time. He calls me up but he decided to get Disneyland passes. You can tell all the memories we built through the years with Disneyland. And he was like, Hey, mom, I know you like to go to all the shows at Disneyland. Do you want to go together?" 

 

And so we went to Disneyland. He was 20. He was going with his mom. He and I had never gotten to do this special dinner that you can do there. So I took him to this special dinner at Disneyland. We didn't do any rides. We just went to the shows. And it's such a fun memory that we had. Then we've had some trips to New York. My daughter and I went somewhere in Mexico. 

 

So I have tried to, in the midst of prioritizing my husband through these years, because I very, very much believe in that, we have also tried to do special little small trips with our kids, even as they've come into the college and adult years. [00:22:00] 

 

Laura Dugger: Quality time has been such a priority for you. You love your family well and your friends well through spending quality time together. During those years when they were all at home, if somebody's listening today and they're like, "I want to do this. I want an amazing relationship with my kids. They're all at home right now," what other tips do you have for connecting with your husband, one-on-one time with your kids, still filling yourself up, being with friends, church? What would you say to all of that? 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: I'd say one of the things that we had to work really hard at through the years is good conflict resolution. Teaching kids good conflict resolution and teaching them to have good conflict with each other, with their parents. 

 

I love Matthew 15 that says, "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault just between the two of you. And if he listens, you've won him over. If he doesn't, bring one or two others along." So since our children were little, we taught Matthew 15, that if they would come alone and say, Mommy, he's da-da-da-da-da, I'd say, hmm, I notice you're by yourself. What do you need to do? They'd have to first go and talk to them individually, and then if they had a problem that wasn't resolved, they had to bring their sibling along with them and we had to work it out together. [00:23:14] 

 

Now, let me tell you, this has not been perfect through the years, but we've had to work a lot on conflict resolution. I actually had one of my adult children say to me just last week that he was with a friend, and his friend avoids conflict with his friends, and he was like, You need to go talk to your friends. And I wanted to say I didn't. I wanted to say, Yeah, gee, I wonder where you picked up on that. But we have revised conflict resolution a ton through the years. 

 

So we also emphasized it with us, how to respectfully come and disagree with us, especially as they got into the middle school and teen years. So even now as adults, our kids are going to disagree with us. They're going to have different views, especially when they're hitting puberty, and they're coming into their own thinking, and they need to. Healthy autonomy is really important. 

 

We wanted to give them a way to make sure they could come to us and disagree. I don't know that we've done that perfectly, but we have striven to do that, and we've grown and learned ways that we've shut them down, because we have shut them down at different times through the years. [00:24:21] 

 

I really believe that if we're going to become more like Jesus, and if we're living with children who are striving to be like Jesus, then our best teachers can be our spouses and our children. And so really learning to be a learner to those in your family about how you can grow and change is vital through the years. 

 

Laura Dugger: And could you even give one example that comes to mind when you think of a time where you did shut them down and then a time where you did train them well to approach you? Maybe something that we could try with our own children. 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Sure. My daughter, during the years when it was a little bit more volatile, she would escalate and I would escalate with her and it didn't go well. One of the reasons why it would escalate is because I didn't feel like she was listening. That's a common feeling that parents have. You're not listening to me. And so a parent will say it over and over and go on and on. 

 

My daughter actually shared with a couple different individuals that she felt like her mom went on and on. Big surprise. So somebody said, "Well, how about you give her the tool to end the on and on if you feel like she's really listening. [00:25:30] And so she and I talked about it. 

 

She came up with this. If I were to say, Mom, that, okay, Mom, what you're trying to say is... and then she would tell me what I was trying to say, then our conversation could be over. She came up with this, we agreed on it. She was probably, I want to say 12 at the time. 

 

I'd say within about two weeks, we got into something and it started to escalate and I was trying to get through to her, right, repeating myself, which is one of the greatest failures of most parents is repeating themselves over and over. 

 

So I was doing exactly that, and she says to me... and she's highly escalated at this point. And then she takes this big breath... I clearly remember this moment. She takes this big breath and she says, "So, Mom," which is amazing for a 12-year-old, "what you're trying to say is." And I tell you, she said it right back. And I didn't want to quit talking because I just felt like she wasn't really getting it, but I had promised her that if she told me what I was trying to say, I would stop. And I said, "You're right. That is what I'm trying to say." And I tell you from that time on our conflict shifted. [00:26:41] 

 

So giving her the ability to be assertive with me and me learning to respect that... and she had to do it respectfully. But me learning to respect that really helped our relationship. So teaching them to come to you is vital. 

 

Laura Dugger: Thank you for sharing that. 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Sure. 

 

Laura Dugger: Could you just share where listeners could connect with you and a little bit more about your resources? 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: Sure. I do have a website called The Art of Intimate Marriage. I have two websites actually. One's The Art of Intimate Marriage and the other is The Ransomed Journey. The Ransomed Journey is for couples where they're recovering from addiction and how to get support through that. 

 

And then the other one is the Art of Intimate Marriage and kind of everything else falls under that. All of my resources for teaching your children about sexuality is on there. Our books are linked there. Everything for married couples. [00:27:34] 

 

Also, all of the podcasts for those who are single and not married and how to live out their sexuality in a God-honoring way is all on that website, The Art of Inmate Marriage. So on there are podcasts. Our books are linked there. The Art of Inmate Marriage is one of our books. 

 

Redeemed Sexuality is the book for single campus teens and parents. And so it helps parents with teaching about sexuality. And we do have a new book called Love, Laughter, and Law: The Power of Parenting. So we really do believe in giving people resources, which is why the writing is continuing quite a bit, so people can have a book in their hands and learn. 

 

The research that I've done is all around sexuality. I've done a couple different research studies. One on married Christian women's experiences of shame and sexuality, just really understanding shame and connection to sexuality. Also, a rather multi-phased research study on taking couples through sex therapy and how they can improve. [00:28:36] 

 

So, really helping couples overall improve in their intimacy, not just sexuality, but their overall intimacy and building empathy, validation, connection is where my research is, and that can be found also on my website. 

 

Laura Dugger: I've read your book before and love it, would highly recommend it. Because we've been focusing on parenting during this time, as we conclude today, what is your savvy sauce as a mama? 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: I would say really enjoying your kids. You have to work hard to enjoy your kids. Parenting has a lot of challenges in all honesty. I'd say, honestly, in a practical sense, one of the things that I've really enjoyed through the years, and what I pray about more than anything else for my children, is that they will be in awe of God. 

 

So through the years, helping them learn who God is, how amazing He is, and how much enjoys them is something I've tried to make sure to come back to through the years with my kids. I've tried to live it. I've tried to live it with them and bring them back to there. It is the number one thing I pray for them is that they would be in awe of God, feel His love for them and be in love with Him. [00:29:52] And so I honestly say that is the biggest thing. 

 

Laura Dugger: Thank you for ending with pointing us back toward God. What a great way to conclude. Thanks for your time, Dr. Konzen. It's been great chatting with you. 

 

Dr. Jennifer Konzen: It's wonderful being with you. Thank you. 

 

Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.

 

This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute.

 

This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. [00:30:55] That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. 

 

We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 

 

So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen. [00:31:55] 

 

If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him. 

 

At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?

 

First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John. 

 

Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. 

 

We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process. [00:32:56] 

 

Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. 

 

If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.