Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
Well if Die Hard is an Xmas Movie well so is this turd. Batman makes his debut on the show, yet manages to avoid being in the Batman movie. Catwoman is the un-sexy. Walkan doesn't Walkan out and Danny Devito gets thrown under the bus. Everything people think about this film is wrong.
First off, and here's you breaking point - BATMAN ISN'T IN THE BATMAN MOVIE!!! At the 1 hour mark, Batman has only been in the "Batman" movie for 123 seconds.
Second off, Catwoman is sold hard to be sexy. But she's really really not. I mean there's a certain level of crazy that people will put up with if it's hot stuff but her nuttiness is over-the-top. She's boner-reducing. (see the "sexy" cat bath scene and then really analyze your definition of sexy)
Then there's the penguins. The Penguin himself has very dubious motivations (end game is to murder all the children? Then what?). He's literally a penguin, man when he never needs to be. He gets a Jungle Book like origin story except take Mowgli out of the jungle, put him under the zoo in the sewers and change his parents from wolves to penguins?!?! And you people don't question this?!?!? Why are there thousands of penguins living in the sewer?!?
Despite all the stupidity and poor decisions, Batman Returns is just kinda boring. There's far too much unnecessary dialogue, inter-personal drama exposition, origin stories, "crime" meetings, poopy-faces and penguin meetups. Take your 80% on Rotten Tomatoes and shove it. You're wrong.
Jackpot - Grand Death Lotto is a better movie, Rockstar!
Thunder - Why'd you take his pants off, Thunder?
Final Justice - A cheap trip to Malta is to just do murder there
Tarot - A wet torn bag of chips covered in runny dookie
Conquest - Someone just give those pooches a home!
Robowar - So it's not a ripoff of West Side Story, I guess
Twisters - Nados coming again, Oklahoma!
Junior - The dog's name was Junior
State Park - The summer version of ski movies
R.O.T.O.R. - Coldyron, you're one tough cop/doctor/engineer/rancher/captain/cowboy/philosopher!
A Family Affair - Not even white noise is this unremarkable
Alley Cat - Park Prey
Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator - Boot Betty in the Bunsen Burner
Madame Web - Failed to predict my devastating boredom
Atlas - Shrug
Robot Jox - This Jox's for you
Highlander: The Final Dimension - The Nonsense Returns
Year 9 in Review
The Rage - Good thing anti-American militias have such terrible plans
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama - Not as slimey as lead to believed
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