Grief isn't just about the loss of a beloved someone or a cherished pet. I define it as a conflicting mass of human emotion following any significant change of behavior. So even if you decide to set a new goal, get a new job, move to a different state, or get to the next level of your relationships — there is grief that happens.
It's a normal human experience and emotion that helps us navigate the world. Now, sensitive people, empathic people, and people with overexcitabilities can feel it intensely, a lot of it.
Grief isn't just about the loss of a beloved someone or a cherished pet. I define it as a conflicting mass of human emotion following any significant change of behavior. So even if you decide to set a new goal, get a new job, move to a different state, or get to the next level of your relationships — there is grief that happens.
It's a normal human experience and emotion that helps us navigate the world. Now, sensitive people, empathic people, and people with overexcitabilities can feel it intensely, a lot of it. Understanding these myths about grief and knowing the right things to do will help yourself or your loved ones when grieving. The good thing is that we shouldn't go through it alone. There is always help available.
Watch Someone Gets Me ▶️ Dealing with Grief with Dianne A. Allen.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔ Myth 1: Time heals all wounds.
It doesn't. What heals it is authentic communication, honesty, and self-awareness. Permit yourself to continue to move forward. Time alone cannot heal the pain in your heart as you go through grief. Grow through what you are going through and find yourself healing and evolving.
✔ Myth 2: You have to grieve alone because you're strong, independent, and smart.
I've had so many gifted people come to me and say, "I'm smart. I shouldn't be feeling this way." That doesn't even make sense. How we feel has nothing to do with our intelligence, our feelings are the energy that tells us we're alive. That's not anything to do with how smart we are. We can be brilliant and have intense feelings. You can't think your way through all of life, folks. You can't. So it's not about grieving alone and figuring it out. It's about allowing yourself to receive support. It's about being connected. It's about honoring and being honest about your feelings, especially if there's no word for them.
✔ Myth 3: You will regret the past. We hold on to these ideas of regret, upset, and disconnection to contain the grief and make it a badge of honor. None of that is healthy. What is healthy is honoring what happened—owning it. Yes, these are your feelings, and they're the truth. You will only move through them and become more alive, coming from an authentic and honest place. That's the goal.
✔ Myth 4: Don't trust your feelings. You feel that you're supposed to be sad because this bad thing happened. Know that you can be happy, and you can still be grieving. You can be angry and grieving. As we're coming into the holiday season, many people have different feelings. It's totally normal. It's okay. All your feelings are okay. They can control us when we try to fight them and resist them or pretend they're not there. Allow your emotions to coexist mutually.
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