Bonus Episode 116 Abundance in Motherhood with Kara-Kae James

116. Abundance in Motherhood with Kara-Kae James

 

**Transcription Below**

 

John 10:10b (ESV) “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

 

Kara-Kae James is an author, speaker and podcaster who is passionate about seeing women’s lives changed and impacted through the gospel. She helps women find their place in big conversations and develop a true and honest faith. She is the host of “Asking for a Friend”, a weekly podcast that helps women navigate challenging topics about themselves, the church and the world. She is the author of the book “Mom Up: Thriving with Grace in the Chaos of Motherhood”, co-author of the Bible Studies Series: Abundance, Freedom and Rest, and author of “Together”, a journal that helps connect moms and their kids in an intentional way. Kara-Kae is married to her husband Brook of 12 years, and mom of four. 

 

At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. 

 

Mom Up by Kara-Kae James

Rhythms of Renewal by Rebekah Lyons

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton

Kara-Kae James Website

 

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Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)

 

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

 

Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

 

Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” 

 

Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” 

 

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

 

Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” 

 

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

 

Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” 

 

Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

 

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

 

Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”

 

Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”

 

Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“

 

Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“

 

Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

 

**Transcription**

[00:00:00] <music>

 

Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.

 

[00:00:18] <music>

 

Laura Dugger: Parabo Press is a photo printing service that wants to help you hold on to life's moments, big and small. They're offering a special freebie when you use the code SAVVY at checkout. Visit them at www.parabo.press. That's parabo.press.

 

Kara-Kae James is our guest today. She's going to share more about her path from postpartum anxiety to fully enjoying God's abundance. She's going to share helpful resources, rhythms, and mindsets that are currently helping her thrive.

 

She also is going to give us a behind-the-scenes picture of what the life of a writer looks like because she's been blogging for decades and released her first book, Mom Up, in 2019. 

 

Here's our chat. [00:01:19] 

 

Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Kara-Kae.

 

Kara-Kae James: Oh, thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here. 

 

Laura Dugger: Well, let's just start with your story. Will you share why you describe motherhood as the mess of your life?

 

Kara-Kae James: Sure. So, kids are crazy, they're out of control and everything's a mess, but it's just the best mess, isn't it? I think it's hard for me a lot of times to be okay with that. I'm a perfectionist. I like things in order. I have four kids, so everything is always crazy and always messy. But at the end of the day, when I really consider what matters most and what's most important, I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change anything.

 

Laura Dugger: Yes, I can relate to so much of what you're saying there. Going back a little bit in motherhood, will you just share more of that story, what that looked like, and if it was at all what you expected? [00:02:19] 

 

Kara-Kae James: Yeah. So, my oldest is 10. When I first became a mom to her 10 years ago, it wasn't anything like I expected. She was a challenging baby. She had colic, and she didn't sleep at all. It was just a million things were thrown at me at once. 

 

My husband and I knew we wanted to have a few kids and I just wanted to get it over with. I hated being pregnant. So, we decided, let's just have them really quick and really close together. So we ended up having three in less than three years. So, my oldest was still two when I had my third baby. 

 

My body was just wrecked from that and my mind was wrecked from that. So, I went into a really hard season of postpartum anxiety, depression. It was a huge challenge. I had never struggled with any kind of mental issues, mental health problems. I had never experienced anything like that. [00:03:20] 

 

Before I walked through that season, I probably would have said, like, it's all in your head. You know, I would have thought that about people that struggle with mental health. Now I know very differently and really understand the science behind what goes on in your mind and how that can really, really make a difference in every aspect of your life. 

 

I joke now that I don't remember my third baby's first year of her life because I was so just checked out. I wasn't present at all. It was a struggle to really do anything. 

 

And so, that was a huge challenge because I anticipated motherhood to look a lot like the pictures you see on Instagram, the movies, the things that you see about motherhood that are just perfect. Everything seems to fall into place. 

 

But it wasn't that way at all for me. I didn't feel equipped. I didn't feel like a good mom. There's still so many days that I'm like, I am not a very good mom. [00:04:20] I'm not great with my kids, especially in seasons like this where we're like, do we have to teach our kids at home? I am not equipped for this. I was not prepared to be a homeschool parent, you know, things like that. It's just something that continues to wreck me and bring me to my knees because I feel very unequipped for it.

 

Laura Dugger: I'm wondering if there's any mom listening who would say that her experience is any different. I have yet to meet someone who feels like they're a natural at this.

 

Kara-Kae James: Yeah. And we feel like we look at everybody else and we think, well, they haven't figured out, so what am I doing wrong? But it's really not the case.

 

Laura Dugger: Well, and I appreciate you just being honest and sharing about postpartum anxiety. Was it something that at the time... did you recognize it?

 

Kara-Kae James: Not at first. I started noticing that I wasn't feeling great, and I thought, "Oh, it's just hormone. My body's just getting back to normal, so hormones are kind of out of whack." [00:05:22] And then I started getting very angry. That was kind of the first sign for me. 

 

This is a story I share a lot, and it's funny. I never shared this story until I wrote my book about my journey through motherhood. I was really upset one day because my 2-year-old daughter at the time she couldn't put her toys away correctly, you know, because she's 2. And I got really angry and upset. And I'm not typically an angry person, but it just all came out. 

 

I took a sippy cup of apple juice, and I just hurled it against the wall. I was so upset over this. Of course, my little toddlers are looking at me like, Our mom has gone crazy. Like, what is wrong with this woman? 

 

I think it was that moment that I realized something's wrong here. I'm not doing okay. And that was the day I told my husband, "I think something's wrong. I think I need to talk to somebody." And I did, and that was very helpful. 

 

But it can be really hard to admit I don't feel like myself. [00:06:22] I struggle with saying that, with saying I'm not doing okay. And I know most women do.

 

Laura Dugger: Yes, but I'm thinking of maybe the new mom who's listening today. Could you give any examples of what it might look like or when it's a wise time to reach out and tell somebody, I might need a little bit more support here? 

 

Kara-Kae James: Yeah, that's a good question. I would say always find a safe person to talk to, whether... for me, that's my husband. He's the person that I can go to and say anything without judgment. You know, whatever that looks like, if it's a sister, if it's your mom, if it's... maybe it is your doctor. Maybe you feel more comfortable talking to them. But finding that safe place that you can say, okay, something feels off. 

 

But paying really close attention to your body, to your mind. And we don't always do that when we're taking care of other people. So that can become really challenging that we don't want to take the time to worry about us because we have this baby to take care of and we want to focus on that. [00:07:26] 

 

But I think it's so important for us to focus on ourselves, make sure we are as healthy as we can be so we can be more present for them, so we can be fully involved.

 

Laura Dugger: That's really just a great reminder to check in, how are we doing emotionally, how are we doing physically. But then in your book, you also talk about the spiritual side when you mention how we moms can be easy targets for our enemy to try and bring down. Will you just share your thoughts on that topic?

 

Kara-Kae James: Yeah. So we're easy to bring down because a lot of times we kind of run the show. I mean, everybody looks to mom for the temperature of the room to see how things are going. So many times the enemy can use that against us. It can bring strife into our families. 

 

If we're having a bad day, most of the time everybody else around us is going to have a bad day because it's very difficult for us to handle our emotions a lot of times, especially if you are a new mom and you're struggling with all these emotions of dealing with new hormones and all the things because that just gets crazy. [00:08:36] 

 

But I think the enemy will think, okay, if I can take her out, then everybody else just falls. So we have to be very on guard to protect ourselves, protect our marriage, to protect our kids. 

 

The enemy just puts these crazy thoughts in our head with guilt and shame trying to tell us that we didn't do enough today, that we weren't enough. We didn't do that certain thing just right. And so we go through all these scenarios in our head of how should I have done that better? I'm a bad mom because I did this thing. Or maybe for a working mom, she deals with a lot of guilt of leaving her kids to go to work or whatever that may look like. 

 

And so the enemy uses those awful messages that get stuck in our head against us. It can really, really hurt us in so many ways.

 

Laura Dugger: How did you battle that on the days that you were especially just exhausted and weary?

 

Kara-Kae James: Oh, men. [00:09:36] A lot of it for me was just filling my heart and my mind with scripture. Because even on those days, especially if I couldn't even physically open my Bible, I was so tired, I could listen, though, to the Bible on audio.

 

Sometimes I would like throw my little ones in the car, go for a drive, drive through and get a coffee or whatever that might look like, and turn on an audio Bible that I could just listen to, take a minute to breathe, turn a movie on for the kids or whatever that looks like just to have that moment. 

 

And a lot of it for me has always been getting out of the circumstance that you're in, just the current situation. So for me, it's like if I was having a really hard day, I was beating myself up a lot, I'm listening to these lies, I just need to hop in the car and go for a drive or maybe just go outside and go for a walk if it's a nice day. Just change your location, mix things up a bit, and not allow the enemy to continue to tell you those things. [00:10:36] 

 

Finding ways to fight back against those thoughts and make that a constant practice. You know, maybe for you, it's putting scripture verses up on your mirror or on your fridge or wherever it is maybe in your house that you struggle. 

 

Maybe you struggle feeling guilt or shame when you walk into the kitchen because you snack in excess. That's something that I struggle with a lot. When I was raising a lot of young kids, I just kind of went to food as an outlet. So instead of feeling that shame, put up scripture verses or whatever that may look like, just to remind yourself that God loves you and He sees you and you aren't forgotten.

 

Laura Dugger: You also had mentioned that he can start to creep in with guilt. How do you see the enemy using guilt as a lie in our lives?

 

Kara-Kae James: I think the enemy uses that on moms probably more than anything, especially now that we have such easy access to the internet, to social media, to all these things and images that show us what motherhood is supposed to look like. [00:11:44] I mean, I'm doing air quotes right now. You can't see them, but it's supposed to look this way, you know? 

 

And so we are getting all these messages of all the things we are supposed to do as a mom. And we just can't. We can't measure up. And so the enemy loves to use that to tear us down by putting those messages of guilt in our minds. And we just have to fight against it. 

 

For me personally, just an example, I'm not a homeschool mom. I'm terrible at teaching my kids. When we have been stuck home and they've had to learn from me, it's just not a way that I am gifted. There are moms out there that do such a great job with this. If you do a great job with this, I might just have to send my kids over to you because they need something that I can't give them. 

 

I just had to come to the realization that, Okay, God did not give me that gift of teaching and having the patience to sit with kids. And that's okay. I'm not going to sit and wallow in that and feel guilty about that. [00:12:45] 

 

I even have open conversations with my kids about it. "Hey, I know I am never going to be as good as some of your teachers are. So I'll be patient with you, you be patient with me and we'll work together." And we'll learn some things together because doing like fifth-grade math is impossible for me these days. It just is a little out of my range of giftings. 

 

Figuring out where our giftings are, what God has blessed us with that we can then do with our children, do for our children. So we don't allow that guilt to creep in because when you get to the end of the day and you start feeling guilty, well, I told my daughter I would play that game with her but I didn't because I ended up having an extra meeting for work, just shut that down. 

 

Don't allow that guilt to come in because it can just ruin you, and then the next day it just leaks in and leaks in and you're like, Oh, I still didn't do this thing I said I would do. Or whatever that may look like for you. I found that having those great open conversations with my kids, you know, even when they're little, to say, "Oh, you know, mommy, so sorry. [00:13:51] I did not get a chance to sit and build Lego towers with you or whatever. But we'll get to that. What's something that I can do to make that up to you?" Or, you know, things like that just to show them that you're not perfect. 

 

That's something that's hard for me but I have to show them that I am vulnerable and I want to be authentic with them in that to say, Mom messed up, but I'll do my best. We'll keep making strides and just not allow the guilt to be a part of the narrative.

 

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Laura Dugger: How did God start to give you a vision for enjoying the available abundance where you were rather than giving into this scarcity mindset?

 

Kara-Kae James: So abundance was something that... it was one of those words that always felt really unattainable for me because I felt like I had to do so much to measure up. And I began to really look at that word and what that meant in scripture when Jesus said, "I came to give you life and give it to you in abundance." Okay, what does that mean? Do I have to do a certain amount of things? 

 

The great reality of that is He offers that freely to us. It's a gift that He gives us. So we don't have to live in a place of trying to measure up just to get what He's offering. He's giving us a free gift and we would be crazy not to take it. And so when we allow ourselves to step into that and actually accept it, our lives can completely change. [00:16:57] 

 

I will always notice days or weeks that I am getting into that scarcity mindset where I'm trying to take control of my time, I'm trying to pull at all the things and control everything. And I realize, oh, I'm just running. It's like I'm running on this hamster wheel and I'm exhausted and I can't get anything done. And then I take a step back and say, "God, this isn't abundance. This is just me trying to work and do all of the things." And when I step back and say, give me this abundance, then everything changes. 

 

So for me, it looks like I'm more refreshed. I'm more dedicated to my work. I have just a clear mind. I have more joy. There's so many things that come with that.

 

When you look at the fruits of the spirit, all these things that God gives you, love, joy, peace, you really do feel those things when you're walking in the abundance that he offers. [00:17:55] 

 

Laura Dugger: For you, it sounds like it was a mindset shift. And then were there any other practical things or changes in your schedules or breaks you took?

 

Kara-Kae James: For sure. Oh, absolutely. Really, the big thing for me was waking up every morning and immediately setting my mind right. Because especially when my kids were little, I would not get a good night's sleep, of course, and then I would be tired. And I would dread waking up in the morning because it was just this like, Oh, here we go again. I have to do this all over again today. I have to wipe everybody's face and rear and do all these dishes and clean up a thousand messes. And I was dreading it. 

 

Once I started really asking God, okay, if you want to show me abundance, what is that going to look like practically? And for me, it was shifting my mindset every morning when I woke up saying, "I get to do this today. This is a gift that I get to get up and do this. I'm privileged that I get to spend this time with my kids." [00:19:00] 

 

Because I had quit my job after my first daughter was born and was able to stay home with them for years. And then now I work from home. But I've always been here. I've always been around. And just realizing what a gift that is. That I'm here when they wake up. I'm here when they go to bed. And I get those little moments with them. So shifting my mind and reminding myself I get to do this, not I have to do this.

 

Laura Dugger: I'll just read one quick quote from your book where you say, "Living an abundant life isn't something we put on hold until our kids are grown. We are to follow Jesus right here right now. And when we do, we experience abundance."

 

Kara-Kae James: I think I was convinced that abundant life was something that would come when my kids were older or when they were out of the house. Because that seemed like something that, well, my husband could probably experience that. People without kids could experience it. [00:19:58] 

 

Because when you are just in the middle of the craziness with kids, you don't feel like you have anything special. You're constantly covered in whatever spill is on you. And you're probably wearing three-day-old pants. And you never know what it's going to look like. So realizing that you can have it right in the middle of that is such a joy.

 

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So another part of your book that we've been talking about called Mom Up, in it, you describe four themes that God has revealed to you in order to thrive in motherhood. [00:21:02] And one of those is rest. So can you share what you've learned about the way to truly experience soul deep rest?

 

Kara-Kae James: It's interesting because I wrote this book two years ago. It's been a while now. I have learned so much more. And while, yes, that is still so true, I have so much more now that I could share and put a whole other book about rest and what that looks like. Because when I did write it, that was one of the hardest things for me to write about because I knew it in my mind. And I finally have figured out how to put it into practice and it has completely transformed me. 

 

So I love the idea of rest because God sets this example for us. He rested. Jesus set the example for us. He rested. But for me as a mom that was busy running from one thing to the next, I was struggling with rest. And so I kind of saw these two sides to rest. [00:22:01] 

 

The world would tell us, hey, go get a manicure and you will feel refreshed as a mom. Go drive through and get a cup of coffee and that will do it for you, you'll feel refreshed. But then we have this other side looking at the example that God sets for us. Jesus wasn't running into Starbucks. He was getting away by Himself and spending time with His father. So what does that mean for us?

 

Those indulgences, those things like that that we enjoy, He's given us those. They're not bad things if you're going to get a coffee, if you're going to get a manicure. I'm not saying like you should never do that. I love doing those things. But if that's the only thing we're doing, then we're missing. We're missing a big piece of it.

 

So this rhythm that I have gotten into over about the last year... my husband and I started talking about taking a Sabbath and we were reading some books on it and studying on rest more. And it just became so clear we are really not doing rest well. [00:23:03] We're not doing it like we thought we should. 

 

We decided as a family we are just going to take a Sabbath one day a week. And so we started doing this practice. Every Saturday is our Sabbath. Our kids know this. My husband and I typically will sleep in on Saturdays and we will get up... We both usually go plop on the couch and read a book and we will go swim or go play outside. Or we'll just lay around and just maybe play a game with the kids. 

 

But it's just a day that we take that we slow down. We don't open our computers. We don't work. We try to put our phones away as much as possible. And it just has created this completely different rhythm for us. Because we were both working seven days a week and it was taking a toll on our kids because, you know, they were getting very weary with, Oh, mom and dad are always working. They're always busy. [00:24:01] 

 

Now we put more work into our week, into the six days. Or typically I work five days down, which seems like just a normal concept that most people should do. But I will work harder in those days, more efficiently, looking forward to and working for my rest because I know it's coming. And all week I'm like, Oh, okay, so today is Wednesday. I have this many days until my rest day. And I'm so excited. And so I'm going to get these things done because I can't wait to just be able to rest and truly take time to turn off my mind that is spinning all the time and be able to sit and enjoy the gifts that God's given me, enjoy some time with Him that is just not rushed, not interrupted. And it has completely changed my view of what rest looks like. 

 

The great thing about this for me as a mom is that I'm modeling this for my kids. [00:25:01] We talk about Sabbath. We talk about what that looks like. I hope that my kids will grow into this being a habit for them and that they will learn how to rest well.

 

Laura Dugger: That one full day of rest altogether actually re-energizes all of the other days of work.

 

Kara-Kae James: It does. It is so amazing how just shifting one day of your week completely transforms every other day. It's incredible.

 

Laura Dugger: And you mentioned that there were some books. What are the ones that you and your husband had gone through?

 

Kara-Kae James: One of the first ones was Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. My husband's a pastor and so we work in ministry and this was written by a pastor. So a lot of it spoke to us of you're working all the time. He talked about the importance of taking a Sabbath, taking time to rest, especially when you're working in ministry because you can't pour into your people if you are just completely worn out. [00:26:01] So that was very helpful. 

 

I'm reading a book right now that I really am enjoying. It's called Sacred Rhythms. It's great and talks about these kinds of things. I also really liked Rhythms of Renewal by Rebecca Lyons where she talked a lot about this, of just the rhythms that her family got into that helped them. 

 

Because a lot of her story was dealing with some mental health things. And that was the case for me too. I found myself just really struggling with anxiety about a year ago. Again, I had gone through the postpartum anxiety, but then here I was, it was about six or seven years later and it all came back up.

 

I had been fine for a while and all this anxiety came back up and I just realized I'm not taking time to rest. I'm not allowing my body and my mind to be renewed and I needed that.

 

Laura Dugger: That book. I would second that one. Rebecca Lyons is a wonderful author. The other one... are you talking about Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton? [00:27:01] 

 

Kara-Kae James: That's the one. Yes.

 

Laura Dugger: I haven't read that yet. So will you tell us a little bit of what you're learning and if you would recommend that too?

 

Kara-Kae James: Yes, I definitely would. I'm probably halfway through it right now, but she just talks through all these different rhythms, spiritual rhythms and practices of a Sabbath and discernment and prayer, lament and things like that. Like she just goes through some of these practices that are so important for us that I think sometimes we overlook. So, yeah, I have really enjoyed that book. 

 

Laura Dugger: Well, I'm appreciating all these resources you're sharing. I'd love to know just in general what other resources and habits or rhythms have benefited you as a Jesus follower.

 

Kara-Kae James: The rhythm of rest has been huge for me. It's crazy because with us in the season of COVID and everything being so different, I have actually had more of a rhythm than I typically do because I'm not running kids to school. [00:28:01] I'm not running here doing this.

 

And so I've actually been able to implement more of a morning routine, which has been very healthy for me. I get up, I make my coffee, I sit down with my Bible. And I've just been able to slow down more, which has been such a great practice and rhythm for me. 

 

I'm more of a night owl and early mornings are always a bit of a struggle for me. But as a mom, I wanted my kids to see, Oh, mom gets up early and she reads her Bible every day and she takes her morning slow before she gets into her work.

 

And because I work from home, they walk by my desk a hundred times a day. So I want them to see that. It's those little things that I want to put those values into my kids, that when they are grown, they look back and remember... what do you remember about your mom? Oh, well, she always got up early. She had a cup of coffee and she read her Bible and then she worked. And sometimes she'd take a break from work and she'd play with me or, you know, whatever that looks like. [00:29:02] 

 

So those kinds of rhythms have been extremely helpful for me and finding good balance and really being able to be more present with my family.

 

Laura Dugger: Well, let's talk about your profession of speaking and writing for a bit. What did your process look like to publish your first book?

 

Kara-Kae James: Well, my kids were a lot younger then. So that was interesting. They're a lot more self-sufficient now, but I had a lot of help from... my husband is a huge support system for me. I would just have to sometimes take days that I would get away for the whole day and just go sit and write. 

 

Logistically, when I was writing the book, I had two in elementary school and then I had two in preschool. And so my two younger ones, they would go to preschool only two days a week and they only for five hours. So I had 10 hours every week with no kids and I would write, write, write until my hands were falling off. [00:30:05] My fingers were raw from banging on the keyboard. I would just go as fast as I can and get as much done as I could because I knew I wasn't going to have much time.

 

And then I would take some Saturdays and things like that to be able to get away and focus. But it's definitely not an easy process with little ones, but well worth it.

 

Laura Dugger: Oh, I love hearing you say that. Why do you think it was well worth it?

 

Kara-Kae James: Oh, I'm really grateful that I wrote in that season. It was interesting going into that, writing a book for moms when I had young kids. I was kind of worried about what people would think. Will they even read my book? Because I mean, it's not a parenting book. It's a book to encourage moms. 

 

So I'm not ever going to give parenting advice. I don't ever want to give parenting advice. I don't think I'm the person for that, but I think just being able to encourage other moms when I am still in the thick of it is so valuable. [00:31:07] 

 

Because there's something about hearing from somebody who's really in the trenches with you of, "Hey, I'm with you. I hear you. I see you. And I want to uplift you in this place that we are in together" versus someone whose kids are in there... you know, they're grown, they're out of the house, and they've been an empty nester for 10 years and now they're going to write to you about thriving in motherhood.

 

Sometimes you miss things and not because you always look back on things and remember the best moments. You know it was hard. But there's something about hearing from someone who's next to you rather than someone who's ahead of you. So that was really my goal. And that was to take the time in those hard years and write and learn. And I learned and grew so much through that process of writing.

 

Laura Dugger: That's so neat. I can just see that cycle where it would energize your mother. So how did you move that forward to get a publisher and gain a following? 

 

Kara-Kae James: I had been blogging. [00:32:09] I started blogging back in college like 15 to 20 years ago. So I've always been a writer. I always wanted to write books and knew that was something that I was passionate about. 

 

I was very blessed because I had an agent reach out to me about four years ago and said, "Hey, I found your platform. Would you ever be interested in writing a book?" And of course, I'm like, "Yes, please. Where do I sign on the dotted line because let's do this."

 

So I was very grateful for the opportunity because the publishing world is definitely not easy. It's definitely not quick. But I am so grateful to have made the connection with my agent when I did and getting to know people online and building relationships with them. 

 

Because I've always been really passionate about online ministry. I've always said that I'm all about creatively reaching people for Jesus. So I'm always looking for creative ways to share and to teach. [00:33:12] So for me, a lot of that's been social media. Yeah. I'm just grateful for the way that journey has gone.

 

Laura Dugger: Are there any exciting opportunities that presented themselves since you published your book?

 

Kara-Kae James: I did go to Focus on the Family and did an interview with them, which was really fun. I've gotten to travel a few times to go do some media interviews like that, which is always great to get to go travel by yourself is one of my favorite things to do. So getting a break for a couple of days and getting away is so much fun. 

 

And just getting to meet some amazing people throughout the journey, whether it's at a conference or, you know, online through podcasting and these types of things.It has been just such a joy.

 

Laura Dugger: What would you say are the best lessons that you've learned through this journey of speaking and writing and publishing?

 

Kara-Kae James: I would say learning to be patient, which is not easy because I think we're all about that instant gratification. [00:34:16] We want to write a book. Okay, well we want it now and we want it to happen at our time on our timetable. And that doesn't really happen in the publishing world. Things go so slow. 

 

I was just telling someone today... we were talking about publishing and I said, "Yeah, from the time of signing with my agent to the time my book came out, it was like three and a half years. So those things are a long process, but it makes the work so much better to take the time to put in so much work into it. 

 

And so while in the moment, you know, you're like, "I just want my book on the shelf. I just wanted my work out there." But being patient through the process has really taught me that waiting for the best thing is good because in the end, it's going to be a much better product than you ever imagined that it could be.

 

Laura Dugger: I think that's a helpful recommendation if there's anyone listening who's an up and coming communicator. [00:35:17] So thanks for sharing that. Is there anything else that you've learned since writing that book that you would add now if you could go back and put more in?

 

Kara-Kae James: I think what we talked about about rest, I think that that would be the thing. Because that has been a huge lesson that I've learned over the last couple of years is really figuring out what rest looks like for me. And so maybe I'll write about that in a book someday.

 

Laura Dugger: Yeah. Looking forward to the second one. You mentioned that you've connected with people from all over the world. So how have those friendships come about? 

 

Kara-Kae James: One way that I really love is I'm a part of an organization called Called Creatives. It's basically online training and coaching community for women who are writers and speakers. So it's a great opportunity to connect with other people who are doing the same thing you're doing. 

 

And just finding communities like that. There's tons of places like that that you can connect with people. There's Facebook groups. Just connecting with people online. Sending somebody a DM and saying, Hey, I love your work. Let's chat. [00:36:25] And just making a connection with somebody who's similar to you and doing things that you are really excited about. That's just been something that has been huge for me. 

 

And through that, in the last six months, I started a mastermind group, which is just a group of their six women that we are all kind of in the same stage of our careers. And so we meet every couple of weeks, we talk through ideas, we support each other, we pray for each other. And it's just a huge encouragement to have these women that get it. 

 

Because in my personal life where I live and the ministry that we do at our church, I don't really have anyone that understands what it's like to be a writer, a speaker and those kinds of things. So I think it's really important to find those like-minded women who are doing the work you're doing. So you can not only just pray for each other and be a support system, but be able to talk through hard things and go through ideas with them and bounce things off of them. [00:37:27] Because that is very important too.

 

Laura Dugger: That is such wise counsel. I really love all of those ideas. With your own podcast, I know your desire is to provide a safe space to engage in tough topics. 

 

Kara-Kae James: Yeah. 

 

Laura Dugger: And so I'd love to hear, what questions are you currently wrestling through?

 

Kara-Kae James: Oh, so many. Every week on my podcast I pick a different question and talk through it with someone. I learn a lot about the world and what it looks like and what people are struggling with. 

 

Something that's been really eye-opening to me recently is things like immigration and poverty and what people are actually going through and what that looks like and how we as the church can step up and make change and support people and love people the way that Jesus did and really beginning to step into what that looks like. So that has been a huge part of why I'm passionate about that. [00:38:27] 

 

And just really having the... creating the space in your life to ask questions and wrestle through things I think is incredibly important. It deepens your relationship with God. I used to think, "Oh, if I ask questions, it would make me sound like I was a skeptic." That's not the case. It makes you more wise. That is the important thing is that we're chasing after wisdom. 

 

God wants us to ask the questions. He wants us to wrestle because He's always there to answer and to lead us through those things we struggle with.

 

Laura Dugger: And if somebody else has some similar questions or if they want to go hear some of those episodes on different questions they're having, where would you point them online?

 

Kara-Kae James: Everything basically that I do is on my website at KaraKaeJames.com. So my podcast is there, books, everything.

 

Laura Dugger: Okay. We will link to that in our show notes and on our resources tab of our website. Kara-Kae, I just have one final question for you. [00:39:28]

 

Kara-Kae James: Okay.

 

Laura Dugger: We are called The Savvy Sauce because "savvy" is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. And so as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?

 

Kara-Kae James: Oh, lately it has been keto ice cream. Okay. So I started keto back in like January. Doing things like this is very challenging for me. I found an ice cream because I'm a big sugar person, I love sugar, but I've tried to cut out all sugar. And the ice cream is keto-friendly. So I'm so happy. Every day I just go get a few spoonfuls of it and it brings me joy. And I'm so thankful for it.

 

Laura Dugger: That's incredible. So what is the name of it? 

 

Kara-Kae James: That's a great question. I found it at Aldi. If you have an Aldi near you... I don't even remember what the brand is, but it just says keto really big on it. It has kind of a weird texture, but if you can get over that, the flavor's good, and I enjoy it. It hits my sweet tooth that I always need. [00:40:31] 

 

Laura Dugger: Yes. Can relate to that for sure. Well, that's so fun. You've shared so many tips and tricks with us today, and I hope people can check out your book Mom Up, but thank you for giving us your time and thanks for being my guest.

 

Kara-Kae James: Oh, absolutely. Thanks for having me.

 

Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.

 

This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. [00:41:31] 

 

This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.

 

We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

 

So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. [00:42:33] In Jesus name, we pray, amen.

 

If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.

 

At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?

 

First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.

 

Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.

 

We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process. [00:43:36] 

 

Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. 

 

If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.