S1E27 Taking Ownership in the Forgiveness Process

In this episode, I celebrate the milestone of 5,000 downloads and express my deepest gratitude. The episode takes inspiration from a listener's struggle with forgiveness, expanding on a discussion that began in episode 24 with Hannah Dustman. The episode also encourages reflection on the role one may take in conflicts and the tendency to self-blame.

Listener's comment:

I was floored by the description of Phlegmatic tendencies as I checked off every box! I think Hannah kind of hit on another aspect I was acknowledging about myself in that a lot of times I find myself not only trying to acknowledge what part I am responsible for in any type of relationship fracture, but I tend to look for ways to take it all on and remove any responsibility from the other person. It’s probably the conflict avoider in me.

But I can see the truth that it makes the process of “forgiveness” (I use quotes because sometimes I feel like a person doesn’t necessarily need me to forgive as much as I need to “get over” something) take longer. Refusing to allow my emotional reactions to real experiences, even if they haven’t yet entirely worked through reason, have their moment in the light takes a lot of work and maybe it’s the self-imposed work I resent more than any perceived hurt from another person.

I interpret the statement "get over it" as an invitation to explore underlying unhealed wounds, possible power dynamics, and abdicated responsibilities. I prompt listeners to question the power differentials within themselves and in their relationships. Listeners are urged to recognize and value their emotional reactions to circumstances and give them the time and consideration they deserve.

 Drawing wisdom from St. Paul’s teachings in Romans Chapter 7, I end on a hopeful note, reassuring listeners that they have the power to work through forgiveness.

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Remember Friend, Forgiveness is for You.