Adolescences 3

 

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ADOLESCENTS

why difficult teenagers have problems

1. they have poor family hierarchy- the kids Have more power than the parents. 
2. parents turn to outside sources for help i.e. police, social workers, counselors, judges, medication. But in doing so they give up and undermine their authority and effectiveness. 
3. an adolescents behavior is many times an attempt, whether conscious or unconscious, to shift the families attention away from a more threatening problem like divorce, drug abuse, alcoholism, depression, as long as the focus remains on the cover up problem the real problem is ignored. 
4. 4. A teen acts on the pleasure principle. Whatever feels good immediately they do, and are willing to put up with the consequences later.
5. 5.difficult adolescents have the ability to think two steps ahead so they can unravel rules and consequences before you ever get to them? 
6. 6. They are more skillful than there parents at confrontations. They know how to push there parents buttons. When the parent loses control then the adolescent has the authority.

 The five aces a student uses to manipulate a parent is: running away, truancy, poor school performance, disrespect, suicidal tendencies. 

 

Why are we at where we are at in society? Young people looting, rioting, destroying things with no fear of consequences… 

There is an old saying that will explain this: The teachers are afraid of the principal, the principal is afraid of the school superintendent, the superintendent is afraid of the parents, the parents are afraid of the teenagers and the teenagers aren’t afraid of anyone.

 

Parents gave up control… and now the monkeys are running the cities and again adults are afraid to say no. 

 

What does scripture say? Train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it… so if we don’t train up a child in the way he should go he will go anywhere and do anything and never quit being a child… adulthood has escaped him by lack of training.

 

*The lesson? Parents… your kids don’t need you to be their friend, they need you to be their parent!