Transference and the Importance of the Relationship in Therapy

I've been a therapist and a patient in long-term therapy so I've experienced transference from both sides of the couch.

What is transference?

In simplest terms, it usually comes down those 'falling in love' with your therapist, or 'yearning to be friends with them outside sessions' feelings, that many people experience at some point in therapy. The feelings are usually the client transferring unresolved old feelings, and unfulfilled wishes onto the therapist unconsciously, creating an opportunity to get unresolved hurts, pain and unacknowledged feelings sorted.

Handling the transference feelings of a client sensitively, directly, while maintaining clear, strong, compassionate boundaries, is the work of a good therapist. It also takes enormous courage for a client to say how they are feeling, and let themselves be vulnerable, while accepting that the relationship must stay sacred and within the therapeutic boundaries, even when they yearn for more.

In this episode I explore why transference happens, why it's important albeit painful, and how to deal with those difficult feelings, to keep growing and becoming your own hero

Got a life, therapy or mental health question for Dr Deb to answer? Write to debra@schooloflove.com.au and we'll do our best to help.

You'll also find some free mental health resources and links to my book over at www.drdebracampbell.com

 

Music credit: http://www.accelerated-ideas.com