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This week on Alchemy… socks vanish into another dimension, jean jackets are judged, and Tim presents 9 rules for meeting people that sound suspiciously like a list of personal grievances. LeeAnna insists you smile, Tim insists you don’t talk loudly on your cellphone, and together they explore what really happens when two human animals meet for the first time—and how writers can use that awkward magic to make their stories sparkle. Spoiler alerts: LeeAnna traps someone in a corner, someone forgets almost everyone’s name, and who’d like to create a good human just to kill them off later. It’s all very normal. Come for the existential terror of networking, stay for the theory about laundry portals. Alchemy: where first impressions are everything—and sometimes, disaster is the intention.

Just a quick reminder: we’re ad-free, squad – but after so many stories about hamsters we have this one and only exception: to make your life infinitely easier we would like to draw your attention to the perfect product to help you make a seamless entrance into any group: Hamster Pheromone Spray available NOW online! HamsterPher™. Yep, that’s right, this premium product uses the very best hamster pheromones and is only $39.99 for a 2-ounce bottle. Just a couple of spritzes of this miracle liquid, and you’ll be the life of the party, accepted into any social circle without a hitch. Don’t worry about being your true self—just bask in the power of hamster-approved pheromones. Trust us, it works every time. Order now, and we’ll throw in a free hamster-sized tiara, because what’s a performative persona without a little sparkle?. 

Read The Snark’s review of this podcast here.
Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here.
Submission page for Effigy Press here.
Effigy Press here.

Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4
https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-days
Outro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5P
https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A