EPISODE 33: EXPERT BLOWJOB TIPS FROM A GAY MAN

Michele Bachmann once famously said, “No one knows his way around a penis like a gay man.” Or maybe she was talking about her husband? Either way, it’s totally TRUE! That’s why on this episode, I went to THE SOURCE! My very dear friend and gay husband, Mr. LaRue, to find out exactly what blowjob techniques will blow a guy’s mind. I hate to call out the Blowjob Education Industrial Complex, whose annual operating budget must 7,504,503% larger than the Cunnilingus Community College budget, but the hard fact is that men are in charge of fucking everything. Which is why womenpeople are inundated with scrillions of classes, magazine articles, listicles, podcasts, instagram posts, Facebook fights, and videos all dedicated to making us Blowjob Beyonces. Cunnilingus tips? Heeeey, look over there! It’s a boner! Here is my irrefutable anecdotal evidence: I invited my pal, sex educator Nina Hartley to teach a blowjob class to some of my vanilla suburban friends in my house, and it was standing room only! And I have a big house! On the flip side, I had a cunnilingus class in my house and 6 people showed up. That included me and one friend who just so happened to be there to return a Pyrex baking dish they’d borrowed. So yeah, we’re all getting sucked in to the pressure to become blowjob goddesses. That’s why I decided to go right to the source and got some insane BJ tips from my boo, Mr. LaRue, who knows his way around a boner. You are about to learn things that I’ve never ever heard. And that, my friends, is saying something.