She has specialized training in treating sexual addiction, trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, sex therapy, victims’ advocacy, crisis intervention and advanced training in emotion-focused therapy for couples. She earned her Bachelor of Science in Psychology and Biblical Studies from Cincinnati Christian University. Emma has two years of doctoral training from Union Institute and University’s PsyD Clinical Psychology program. She currently owns a group practice, Emma Schmidt & Associates, Sex + Relationship Therapy, in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”
Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”
Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”
Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”
Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“
Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
[00:00:00] <music>
Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.
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Laura Dugger: Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.
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It's my privilege to introduce you to Emma Schmidt. Emma is a certified sex therapist and her private practice is in Cincinnati, Ohio. Today we're going to discuss five topics. They include pain, pornography, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, and emotional distance. Here's our chat.
Hey, Emma.
Emma Schmidt: Hi.
Laura Dugger: I'm looking so forward to getting to ask you more questions about your expertise. But first, will you just share a little bit about yourself, including how you decided to become a sex therapist? [00:01:53]
Emma Schmidt: Yeah. So I've been in private practice for about eight years now. I'm out in the Cincinnati, Ohio area. I have two little girls, a one-year-old and a three-year-old and I've been married for 11 years now. So whenever I was first married, so I got married when I was 20, and one of the pieces that really resonated with us is that we were virgins whenever we got married and we didn't know that we might experience some kind of sexual pain and or some kind of sexual dysfunction.
We thought that sex would just be kind of what everybody had told us from movies or books, and so we were really excited about it. Then that started a very long years of journey trying to figure out why we could not have successful intercourse.
I was in my undergrad for psychology at that point, and I tried to look for different resources and therapists. There were so many great family relationship couples therapists out there, but no one who really knew how to address that core piece of sexual dysfunctions or sexual-related topics. [00:03:07]
Though there were many who tried and I really appreciated that and so we kept getting tossed around from therapist to therapist. That's when I decided, you know, I want to be able to grow this field. I felt really comfortable talking about this area.
Even from whenever I was younger, I really enjoyed human sexuality. That was my focus in my psychology undergrad. So whenever I went to my counseling and master's degree, I just heavily focused my trajectory on sex therapy. So I was doing my master's in counseling in Cincinnati and then I would drive down to Atlanta on the weekends to do sex therapy certification, the sex therapy certification program.
That was about eight years ago whenever I did that. I was an individual practitioner. Then in the last, it's been almost two years now, I started the group practice of other clinicians who were interested in sex therapy, wanted to figure out how to become sex therapists and relationship therapists.
Since then, most of our clinicians are either certified as a sex therapist or are in a program for becoming certified as a sex therapist, which is pretty cool because there aren't many in our area. The idea is that we grow as a population to be able to help more people in our community on a number of different levels. [00:04:33] So that's where we're at right now and a little bit of my story.
Laura Dugger: Thank you for sharing that part of your story. Have you been someone who has experienced healing through the sexual part of your life?
Emma Schmidt: Yes. I experienced vaginismus kind of off and on, but definitely for the first three years of our relationship. Then we sought out pelvic floor physical therapy, sex medicine doctors. And we had a lot of success with that and then it came back postpartum. So we had to kind of dive into that. But what was really cool is that we had to learn how to be intimate versus just having physical sex. And that was a pretty amazing experience to understand what intimacy looks like versus what does the performance-based sex looks like.
So we have experienced healing through that sexual part, even though it kind of ebbs and flows still. But the intimacy piece, I think, has been pretty close to us, even if that goes off a little bit.
Laura Dugger: That definitely makes sense. Just to clarify, or if somebody is in your same position, how can they grow in intimacy or what does that look like? [00:05:49]
Emma Schmidt: We had to figure out because we weren't sexually illiterate. We had to slow everything down and explore and figure out what do I like, what do you like, how can we have more conversation? So we could get pretty frustrated by intercourse not working, let's say so we developed a plan where we sit down... Well, we don't sit down anymore, but we did.
We communicate about sex pretty frequently. Even today as a sex therapist We talk about our sex life almost every other day at least or at least once a week where we just dive into what was good, what are you meeting, what am I meeting, how can we be vulnerable and kind of show up verbally naked. That took a lot of hard work and trying to figure out what language we needed.
That in itself helps us become closer because we are having to be so vulnerable with "Actually I know that you like that but this is how it makes me feel" or "Do you actually like doing that because I don't like it when you do that?" And so are we just doing something that neither of us actually enjoy.
So there was a lot of conversation about it, which was really helpful, and then a lot of exploring and experimenting which was good to figure out what's gonna work and what's not, and then readdressing that maybe months or years later to figure out, is that something we want to try again or not or let's talk about this because our bodies are changing during different seasons of life or our personalities are changing. [00:07:22]
There's some things that or some discussions that we had early on that didn't really work for us but now work for us post-kids. So having that ongoing conversation, being able to... I think this is cheesy, but it makes sense, saying like, into-me-see, so allowing someone to really see into you and then you diving into that person as well. So being really transparent and vulnerable.
That's what intimacy is about. If I just go in to have physical active sex, there might not be any intimacy there. But what we were trying to create is how can we show up for each other and allow for a deeper connection than sexually when we were able to express our needs and desires and refocus on the purpose of what we wanted sex to look like.
Laura Dugger: I love that explanation. That does broaden your perspective and really intimacy is so rich. So I love that you've shared that. From your expertise, how do you think that sex therapy can benefit a couple, singles, parents, kids, and even families?
Emma Schmidt: I mean I've gotten a lot of interesting comments about what people think sex therapy is. The way that I like to think about it is sex therapy can help on a broad level any kind of sexual difficulty that one might be having. [00:08:45] So for a couple, let's say, a typical couple might have desire discrepancy. So one person has more desire for sex than the other person or it's been a while since you've had sex now just feels awkward how to start that again.
There might be some infidelity or some addictions that might be happening within the relationship or even just confused about what to do with your body. It feels like going into a sexual situation when you haven't had it before seems like it would be normal, but how do you move your body? This feels awkward. So even diving into some of those pieces with couples is really important. Or the rectal dysfunction or vaginal pain, infertility. There's so many different aspects to sex therapy that can benefit a couple. So that's the couple piece.
For an individual, I think exploring one's sexuality, exploring how to get to know your body and you being a sexual self. So I see a lot of clients who come in who have shame around sex because of cultural messages or religious messages or familial messages. So trying to address some of those shame pieces. [00:09:59]
Or even I'll have some women who come in who want to explore how to have an orgasm and what does that even feel like. Or guys who are coming in and saying, I'm 20 and I have I'm not able to sustain an erection, like this doesn't feel normal, or I have premature ejaculation or I'm just trying to figure out how to date and I feel awkward in this new world where it seems like you're supposed to go on 50 dates all the time and am I monogamous am I not monogamous.
So we explore relationships, we explore how to become more in tune with one's sexual self and really try and decrease some of those shame messages. But we do a lot of exploration around what does that look like.
Then for parents, This gets really tough because you're used to maybe a certain way of behaving sexually, and then you have kids and it completely rocks the boat maybe. Maybe your body and the way that you experience sex feel so much better postpartum. And then maybe sometimes there's a lot of stuff that's going on.
So I'll see women who experience sexual pain maybe because of the scars, scar tissue that they might have because of tearing or the vaginal canal can just really change, your body shifts or if you have a C-section, sometimes you go numb. Some of the nerve endings can be damaged from a C-section. [00:11:19]
So that can be really disheartening when you have had this, you've created such a miracle of life and now you're trying to figure out, well, how do we behave sexually again? Not only that, but you might be functioning on waking up every two hours and you have absolutely no desire. So you feel like you've gotten into the cycle of maybe fighting a lot or you have no energy or the male partner feels like, I want to be there for my partner but I don't know how to. So it's a lot of treading water or walking on eggshells between the partners and then all of a sudden what we see is we haven't had sex in so many months or so many years and we don't know what to do.
So trying to figure out, how do we even schedule sex or make it scheduled spontaneity is a fun exercise that I like to try and create with couples who are parents and the busyness of life, especially with all the sports that are going on and all the activities. How do we make sure that we're creating space for us as a couple when we also have a family going on that we love and we cherish. So what does that look like? [00:12:28]
So that's just a little bit of parents, individuals, couples that we might see with sex therapy but there's so many other pieces and components to it that might be brought into the office as well.
Laura Dugger: It sounds like everyone can benefit from sex therapy in a different way because it affects all of us. Even on your website, it says that 4 out of 10 women and 3 out of 10 men experience sexual problems. Yet I love that you follow it up with saying most sexual concerns are treatable.
So it'd just be awesome to have you educate us on ways that you do treat some of these sexual problems. You had talked about pain during intercourse in the past. So let's start with the woman experiencing pain during intercourse who asks you, why do I feel sexual pain when the doctor says there's nothing wrong?
Emma Schmidt: This is a common concern that we hear. One thing that my sex medicine doctor that we refer to often taught me is that typically when you go to see your GP or your general practitioner person or your OB, they're usually trained in more general topics around their specialty area. [00:13:47]
If it's your gynae, they're usually just trained in gynecology. So what's missed is if you want a sex medicine or a sex course, it's usually an elective and you have to then want to take that elective to get this information.
So what we're seeing is that there might actually be some sexual concerns going on and your doctor might be excellent but they might not know some of these other specialty areas. Just like if you go to your general practitioner for a broken bone they might send you to a person who specializes in broken bones.
What we do is if somebody comes in and says, "I'm having sexual pain and my doctor says I'm fine," I send them to our sex medicine doctor and I say, "Hey, I just want you to go get evaluated to see what all might be happening." But I also ask some interviewing questions and assessment questions to find out where's the pain and what kind of pain might you be having because there's so many different kinds of general sexual pains called dyspareunia, that it could be endometriosis. It could be atrophy of your vaginal canal. It could be vestibulitis and vaginismus or vulvodynia.
What I want to find out is where is this pain located and who's going to be the best fit for you in terms of a doctor that could potentially help? Usually, it's a sex medicine doctor. [00:15:05]
So what I do is I create a team approach so it's usually a sex medicine doctor and then also a pelvic floor therapist depending on the type of pain that a client might be having. So in combination, we create a team approach where the sex medicine doctor, the pelvic floor therapist, and myself are all talking together. And so I work with the cognitive piece.
If vaginismus is going on, what I see a lot of times is the sex medicine doctor and the pelvic floor therapist might have addressed and gotten the client to have no pain anymore but now there's this fear of having intercourse. So we work with the fear of having intercourse and getting over this next hurdle of we know that you have a pain-free pelvic floor area, how can we help you get to a place where you want to enjoy it? We get through some of those negative messages that you can tell yourself about what pain does to the body such as...
A common example is if I go to touch a hot stove, I probably am not going to go touch it again because my brain signals to my body this is hot and you don't want to hurt yourself again. So for someone who experiences pain, that's what their brain is signaling to their body: don't do this, don't have intercourse because it's going to hurt.
Psychologically, we have to work with that and we have to slowly go through that sometimes, and maybe some just general touching around the pelvic floor and creating some safety and that partner is then creating more trust to allow for their partner to then potentially have intercourse later on or some kind of... whatever that pain might be.
We do some exercises through touch but also some cognitive processing, some mindfulness, self-affirmation types of exercises along with addressing "what are you telling yourself? How can your partner be there for you? What do you need from them?"
So it's a lot of intimate conversation. This is really a scary place if you're experiencing pain. In combination with these doctors, I also do a lot of cognitive processing along with some emotional pieces and being able to ask your partner for what you need in that moment as well.
Laura Dugger: That's so neat that you have it as a team approach. It sounds like it can be complex, but the encouragement is that it's totally worth it for the person who is seeking healing.
Emma Schmidt: Exactly. Yeah. [00:17:23] I think it can feel really discouraging when you've heard doctors say this isn't... you just need to drink a glass of wine or just relax. It is more complex than that. And your body is obviously telling you that. So I would always encourage you to listen to your body. And if someone's saying, "No, you're fine," but you don't feel fine, keep searching.
Laura Dugger: That's good wisdom there. And now a brief message from our sponsor.
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Laura Dugger: How do you handle it when a client asks why their partner watches pornography rather than choosing to engage with them?
Emma Schmidt: I always bring it back to the couple and ask them why that happens. Because I think that can be really discouraging. [00:19:27] Porn is so rampant. What I find — when I do my sexual history assessments with my client — is porn is the number one educator for our generation and for a lot of the clients that we see.
And so I try and empathize with that person like it must be really discouraging that they're looking at someone else versus you and what that must feel like then for you as a partner and try. And sit with them and what they're experiencing because it can feel kind of traumatic sometimes for some people.
I try and address, like, what are you experiencing? Why does this feel like a concern to you? And what are you needing for your partner? And how can you address this with your partner? What are you needing from them? Do you feel safe being able to address this with your partner and tell them, like, why this hurts you if it does hurt you? And have the partner respond because they might not know how this experience is for them.
Then try and create a game plan for what would be helpful for you all and what are those next steps to make you both feel secure and needed in the relationship. And I just need a connection that makes you feel bonded together.
And if you feel like your partner is watching porn and that feels violating to you, then you're not gonna want to be with your partner typically. Or you might just approve to them like you can see porn too, which isn’t intimate either. [00:20:49] So really trying to get down to that core piece and have them turn towards each other and connect and figure out, like, what works for us and what doesn't work for us in this relationship.
Laura Dugger: It's so neat to hear how you facilitate these conversations and just bring about understanding because oftentimes the person struggling with pornography has certain lies that they're believing such as this only affects me. But you're saying it really does affect the couple and we bring it into the room and talk about it. Is that right?
Emma Schmidt: Exactly. Yeah, because for some partners, it's not a problem at all. And so if this person's bringing it up, it must be affecting them in some way. And because the two of them have joined together in it, it's the coupleship that really needs to work on it, not just the individual.
Laura Dugger: We have a lot of male listeners as well, so let's address a common question that affects them. Do you ever personally work with males who struggle with erectile dysfunction, even when they're young? You had mentioned some people being as young as 20 years old. [00:21:55]
Emma Schmidt: I do work with males. Many of the male clients I see are ones who struggle with erectile dysfunction, especially younger men who feel very confused because it's stereotypically known to be older men who might experience this because of hormones that might be happening or their different aging experiences that might be going through their body to create some of the erectile dysfunction, blood flow problems.
I do work with men. And I really enjoy this area, honestly, because a lot of it is anxiety and stigma-related or shame-based messages that might be happening. And if not, I do the same thing. If I feel like whenever I'm doing my assessment that it might be more physical, then I refer to a urologist or a sex medicine doctor for them to get evaluated. And most of the time I do that anyways just to rule out anything else that might be going on.
Maybe they have some low testosterone that's happening or sometimes it's that the condom is too tight. What I find too is with erectile dysfunction is when it happens once it is just devastating for the rest of the time. So it might not be that it's a recurring problem because of something else. It might be because of that first time and the messages you tell yourself then after that first time and how difficult that was or even the responses that you get. [00:23:18]
It's usually less likely that it's a physical problem and more likely that it is anxiety-related or messages that you start telling yourself because of that erectile dysfunction that's happening. Because it's so devastating and it affects... When I talk to these men it affects every area of life and you just start ruminating on it. Of course, then that starts to affect the somatic body too.
Laura Dugger: That makes a lot of sense because the mind-body integration is just fascinating. And on that topic, how do you see anxiety affecting people's overall sexual health?
Emma Schmidt: Yes, so anxiety, I believe, is one of the leading contributors of many of the sex therapy challenges that we see in the office. So whether a couple is coming in I'll find that anxiety might be what's creating the disconnect between them talking about their sex life or anxiety might be why they're not having sex because they don't know how to start that sexual experience. Especially with sexual pain or the sexual dysfunctions, sexual dysfunctions is such a negative word so I think that induces some shame too.
But so for erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, those are all very much rooted in anxiety, or many times it's rooted in anxiety. So what you were talking about earlier with that mind-body connection being so strong for therapy, I think it's completely correct. [00:24:44]
The sex medicine doctor that I refer to a lot, she likes to say that your brain is your biggest sex organ and I 100% believe that that is true. Because if I am about to go into a sexual situation and I'm telling myself, oh my gosh, I feel so bloated right now and I don't look the way that I used to look and I start putting myself down, what happens is in the brain, it starts to shut off that desire and shut off that pleasure and so my body starts to get tense.
But if I feel confident and I feel excited and I feel really connected to my partner, then my body feels more loose and open and feels more desire or excitement for my body to go through a natural sexual response cycle.
I definitely think that anxiety is rooted in many of these sexual problems. Whether it's the chicken or the egg is I don't know, but I definitely think it follows through with many of the sexual concerns that I see. So a lot of times it's about how can we create space and create peace to shut down some of that anxiety and allow for you to feel more secure in your sexual self and with your partner too.
Anxiety a lot of times is rooted in fear and so we're trying to address what is that fear that you have that's creating that anxiety and how can we create some peace in that to allow you to move forward more confidently too. [00:26:08]
Laura Dugger: How have you seen that work with clients? Could you even give a specific example of how they were able to create space with the goal of peace?
Emma Schmidt: This is a typical client that I might have. They come in and they'll have a sexual problem and I say, okay, how often do you guys talk about this? And they say, "This is the first time." And I say, "Okay, how long have you guys been together?" They might say 20 years.
So I'll ask, "So in 20 years, you've never talked about your sex life." "No." I'll ask, what pulls you back from talking about it? "Well, it feels awkward" or "I feel embarrassed" or "I feel like he's wanting X, Y, and Z or she's wanting this and I feel like I'm trying to provide these things." So it's a lot of assumptions that are happening and a lot of anxiety that's... I want to make sure I'm pleasing this person or, um, I don't want them to leave me if I'm not this sexually active. So a lot of different things that can happen. But one of the biggest pieces is couples not talking about their sex life. [00:27:06]
What we do is I have them engage in a sexual conversation and I say, Okay, this might be awkward and uncomfortable, but you're in therapy so we're gonna try and challenge ourself with what feels uncomfortable in a safe place. So I'll have them start engaging in these questions that they have for each other but they just don't know... a lot of clients just don't know how to ask or what questions to ask. Because we weren't modeled that either, right? A lot of us weren't modeled how to do that.
So once they start talking about it, what I find is that they naturally just start to feel lighter or they even seem lighter whenever they come back into the room. Sometimes after that initial conversation they don't want any more sessions. And that feels really good to think, okay it was just needing to open up that dialogue and that was just through some facilitation or being able to help you figure out what questions you're looking to ask or needing from your partner.
I think like at the beginning, whenever I was talking about my husband and I coming together and opening up that intimacy through dialogue, I think that happens too with couples just not knowing how to create that space to ask. [00:28:08]
And that's what I find when couples come back in too, is if they had a rough time, being able to refocus back on, well, did you guys talk about this? And if the answer is no, how can I get you guys to talk about it at home and not wait until you come back in here? And what do you guys need to create that safety or to feel vulnerable or to create safety to feel vulnerable in that area or how do I help you guys think about the questions that you're looking to ask to connect in this way to create peace instead of anxiety? Because it just builds so...
If I can get clients to engage in more dialogues and figure out what questions they want to ask for connection, then I find that that's what helps really reduce that anxiety piece when they can feel safe with their partner
Laura Dugger: Now, will you speak to the couple who's seeking your relationship therapy for a different reason? Maybe because they feel more like roommates right now, and yet their desire is to grow in a deeper level of emotional intimacy. [00:29:08]
Emma Schmidt: Yeah. Clients who feel like roommates, that's another one that feels pretty present in our office space. What I say is when did that start and what has created that roommate feeling? What did it feel like prior to feeling like roommates? Typically it's we got into a routine or things aren't exciting anymore. You've gotten past that honeymoon phase, we'll call it.
And what happens after, let's say, it's around like six months to eighteen months, is your desires for each other start to level out? When you were dating, typically your libido starts to match each other and so you feel really excited to see the other person, your sex drive is a little bit higher. But when you're together for about six months to a little over a year, it starts to level back out to maybe what feels normal to your body. And that can feel confusing.
Some couples will say after they get married, I feel like my partner tricked me into getting married and they only had sex with me just to get me on the other side of this. I'll hear that a lot. And I don't think that is always true. I think it's the way that our bodies are functioning to excitement and then leveling back out too.
For the roommate piece what I like to do is how can we keep things exciting within the nature of your relationship so that it doesn't feel so routine, so it doesn't feel like we're roommates while also addressing what also makes us feel like roommates? [00:30:36]
One of the things that I think can be really beneficial is what I call the jar exercise. What you do is you have two different jars set up and you put what you find most sexually desirable or what you like to experience sexually or intimacy-wise and your partner then puts what they would like in their jar sexual or intimacy-wise. So you write it on a piece of paper and then put it in there and then you just go through a list of those.
Then what happens is you guys decide how often you would want to pull from the jar during the week. If we decide, if my husband and I, for instance, would decide that we're going to pull twice a week, I say, okay, I'll go first. And I decide what day that I want to pull from his jar, but I only know that.
So I go and I pull from his jar and I read what he is interested in. Then I decide what day, what time, when I'm going to plan this. So I create a situation for this activity or this sexual situation. [00:31:35] Then I initiate the way that he likes to be initiated, not the way that I like to be initiated. So it's really partner-focused, me turning towards my partner and figuring out what does he like and how can I best love him in this way.
Then my partner does the same thing for me. It's a way to keep things spontaneous but also scheduled. Because what we find is that if you just wait for spontaneity to happen, which is one of the number one things I hear from clients, I just want it to be spontaneous, it either doesn't happen at all, you either aren't going to engage in sexual interactions or it's going to happen much less frequently than you would like it to happen.
So if you're able to do this, I find that it can be really fun. You start to learn more about your partner and what they like to do. And you're turning towards your partner and figuring out how can I love them best and this is how it is. And so it can typically be really exciting too because I know my partner is going to like this and I'm excited to please them in this way.
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Where else can listeners learn more about you and follow up if they want to schedule a session, even if they're not local to Cincinnati?
Emma Schmidt: We have a website. It's Emma-Schmidt.com. That's our website where sometimes we do blogs, sometimes not. Our Facebook feed also goes to our website, so you can check that out on our main page. More resources are available there, such as sex medicine doctors, pelvic floor therapists, other kind of medical professionals in our area. [00:33:42]
Then we also have our Facebook, Emma Schmidt and Associates, Sex and Relationship Therapy, and our Instagram, which is Emma Schmidt Sex Therapy, where we just post a lot of different resources throughout the weeks that could be really helpful for what we hear clients saying in sessions and then we want to be able to translate that to a broader audience too.
Laura Dugger: We will link to all of those in our show notes. Thank you just for making yourself accessible.
Emma Schmidt: You're welcome. This has been fun.
Laura Dugger: Well, we are called The Savvy Sauce because savvy means practical knowledge. And as the final question today, Emma, what is your Savvy Sauce?
Emma Schmidt: So this sounds really morbid but my savvy sauce is realizing that one day we're all gonna die. And so how can I live authentically for myself and for the higher being, can I call higher being, [00:34:41] how can I live authentically and transparently through that and not for others? One day we're all gonna die and so how can I live really genuinely in life?
Laura Dugger: Well, Emma, thank you so much for sharing all of your practical application with everyone who's hearing this message. Your work is making a difference and I appreciate the impact you've had on all of us today.
Emma Schmidt: Thank you. Thanks for having me.
Laura Dugger: One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term "gospel" before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners and God is perfect and holy, so He cannot be in the presence of sin. Therefore, we're separated from Him.
This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior. But God loved us so much, He made a way for His only Son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. [00:35:47]
This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with Him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.
We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
So would you pray with me now? Heavenly, Father, thank You for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to You. Will You clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare You as Lord of their life? We trust You to work and change their lives now for eternity. In Jesus name, we pray, amen. [00:36:52]
If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring Him for me, so me for Him, you get the opportunity to live your life for Him.
At this podcast, we are called Savvy for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So you're ready to get started?
First, tell someone. Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision my parents took me to Barnes and Noble to get the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. Start by reading the book of John.
Get connected locally, which basically means just tell someone who is part of the church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.
We want to celebrate with you too. So feel free to leave a comment for us if you made a decision for Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read Scripture that describes this process. [00:37:53]
Finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.
If you've already received this good news, I pray that you have someone else to share it with today. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
