For some people, wedding planning happens to coincide with a devastating life crisis. We listen to a bride tell her story of the loss of her mother and grief during her wedding planning. Wedding planning can be stressful. We talk about that all the time on this podcast. And as a bride or groom, you deal with the stress the best you can - we talk about how to minimize stress, stay organized and grounded, and about keeping things in perspective as you go on the wedding planning journey. The goal is to have a wonderful...
For some people, wedding planning happens to coincide with a devastating life crisis. We listen to a bride tell her story of the loss of her mother and grief during her wedding planning. Wedding planning can be stressful. We talk about that all the time on this podcast. And as a bride or groom, you deal with the stress the best you can - we talk about how to minimize stress, stay organized and grounded, and about keeping things in perspective as you go on the wedding planning journey. The goal is to have a wonderful wedding day, and to be able to enjoy every moment of it. But what happens when things don’t go according to plan? Life can throw a lot at you at once.
Big Takeaways
Trigger warning: This episode of The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is about terminal cancer. Lauren lost her mom to cancer after an 18 month struggle, and that time period was also when Lauren and her partner Blake were planning their wedding. It was the happiest saddest day, ultimately, and we are honored that Lauren told her story for us.
When wedding planning starts to feel all-encompassing, take a step back. Really evaluate where you are in life, what you have to be grateful for, and why you want to marry your partner! Focus on the love. Hug your parents. Say thank you. Call the people in your life that you love, and that love you and tell them you love them!
Things got VERY tough for Lauren. The news seemed to be bad every time she talked to her mom, and her mom was insisting that she keep her wedding plans in place - it was all she had to look forward to. The pressure was intense, and the sadness and helplessness were present every day. These feelings and this reality followed Lauren to dress fittings and cake tastings, and home at the end of the day for her to unpack with her partner Blake. At times, the ONLY thing Lauren was sure about was that she was marrying the right guy, and that she was so happy to be doing so. Her actual current relationship with Blake was what kept her going, and gave her some peace, some strength and the energy to keep moving forward, under impossible circumstances. That is a true testament to love, and to the whole point of marriage itself.
On the day of the rehearsal, Lauren visited her mom at the hospice facility. Then she drove straight to her wedding rehearsal and endured the whole thing in a shell-shocked state, beaten down by the saddest circumstances, missing her mom, questioning her choices, and feeling extremely annoyed with her husband-to-be.
On the wedding day - Lauren felt like everyone was looking at her with sympathy about her mom. Her mom was in hospice less than 5 miles away, and her presence was felt at the wedding...mainly through the friends of her mom, who Lauren considered surrogates. Ultimately, Lauren was able to be fully present in her wedding day - as it was, not as she wished it had been.
Lauren’s advice, for anyone going through this or something similar: find a way to honor your person on the wedding day, in private or public. And if possible - err on the side of visiting your loved one too many times.
The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...
Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
- Edited by Veronica Gruba
- Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics
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