Early Experiences Set our Template for Love

Attachment Theory

How do our first experiences of nurture and family encounters shape the way we view Love as adults? How do we understand relationships and our place within them? Attachment theory, around since the 1940’s brings us answers to these questions.

 

Love templates

The human mind learns in templates. We cannot remember every experience or every object we encounter. So our brain makes a template when we are young to help us put events and objects in proper categories.  This includes the way we learn about Love and how the “other” will treat us. The primary caretaker’s behavior becomes our template for love and nurture. They are also our template for the “other.” So our view of love will depend on how we are most often treated.

Changing Attachment Templates

Today we talk about how love templates and how to move from Insecure attachment to Secure attachment. Using the wonderful plasticity of the human brain, we are able to change the first templates of our early relational experiences to more positive ones. 

3 Tiered Model of Change. 

To make this complex interaction a bit easier to understand, I share a analogy of a 3 tiered model of learning. This model is how we gain the early knowledge. But also can be used in order to generate behavioral change as adults. The tiers include LESSONS, LENSES, and LIFESTYLE.

 

For more information on Attachment and Attachment Theory go to https://stantatkin.com

As well as www.dianepooleheller.com