Nothing is more important than your mindset and what you tell yourself about who you are and what you are capable of doing. Without a strong and well-developed inner game, believing you can have a successful business and actually achieving it are going to be challenging. Pam Ivey talks about the importance of your inner game and how being prepared to handle your limiting beliefs is the most important skill you can master as a business owner. Jane Garee teaches on the necessity of...
Nothing is more important than your mindset and what you tell yourself about who you are and what you are capable of doing. Without a strong and well-developed inner game, believing you can have a successful business and actually achieving it are going to be challenging.
Pam Ivey talks about the importance of your inner game and how being prepared to handle your limiting beliefs is the most important skill you can master as a business owner. Jane Garee teaches on the necessity of a vision, what the difference is between a vision and a strategy and why creating both become the beginnings of a blueprint of a strong foundation.
In today’s episode, you will hear about -
- [02:33] Why limiting beliefs are the number one killer of your business and what you need to do to change them.
- [10:08] How your negative stories are providing a pay-off and how to change that
- [17:14] Why understanding the difference between vision and strategy is so important and how to not confuse the two
- [25:42] How does your vision becomes the core of your business.
- [34:05] Differences between strategy and tactics to assure a successful business.
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EPISODE 4 TRANSCRIPTPam (00:00): You're listening to the flourish and grow to CEO podcast, episode four.
Are you a lady boss making 50 to a hundred thousand in your business? And you're ready to break through that six figure barrier.
Jane (00:35): Have you done a great job of creating a nice life as the ultimate gig master, but no, your inner CEO is calling you to greater Heights. You're in the right place. If you want to create and implement solid fundamentals in your business without sacrificing fun.
Pam (00:49): I'm Pam Ivey, I'm certified in small business management and I concentrate in the areas of training and certifying real estate assistance, coaching and mentoring entrepreneurs in online business, marketing growth and profit acceleration. And I take men and women business owners aged 40 plus two bucket list destinations around the world for a month at a time to work, explore, and live in community.
Jane (01:15): And I'm Jane Garee known as the sales strategist for the non-sales person and I work with business owners who want to increase their conversion rate, shorten their sales cycle and have more impact and influence with the work they do all while having more fun with selling.
Pam (01:30): Hey everyone. And welcome back. We're so glad you joined us again for flourish and grow to CEO today. We're going to talk about two of the foundational pillars that are super important. Not that any of the others aren't, but we're going to be concentrating today on inner game and vision and strategy and what inner game or mindset, if you will, might be another way that you've heard of it. But we really like the term inner game. What we say to ourselves is super powerful, so they can be positive thoughts. They can be negative thoughts. And there are a number of things that stand in our way to our positive thoughts. You've probably heard of some or all of these. So what's involved with inner game. It's limiting beliefs, money, mindset, scarcity, mindset, compare and despair, imposter syndrome, fear of failure. And yes, this is a thing.
Pam (02:33): Fear of success and fear of judgment. But today we're going to focus on limiting beliefs. We absolutely all of us have them, but there are ways to change them. So we're going to go over that in a little bit, but just know that there are good and there are bad limiting beliefs. Each one affects our lives in one way or another. For example, your good beliefs are created to assist you throughout your life while your bad beliefs can hinder you from being successful and they can stop you from moving forward. A limiting belief restricts you to what you believe you can do. You can have, or you can experience. So you can, as I said, eliminate these beliefs permanently, but you need to understand that they're protecting you for some reason, they're not inherited at birth. So you didn't come into this life thinking it was difficult to make money or make friends.
Pam (03:31): You didn't think you're fat, or you're not very bright. You never thought that you were a terrible person, right? I mean, this just didn't happen when you were a baby. So many of our beliefs were instilled in us during childhood. They were all due to experiences that we had and things that we heard when we were kids, the majority of our beliefs, which is really interesting come about before you turn six years old. So it's really possible to learn what led you to the belief. If you think back on the experiences you had or the statements you heard, when you're a kid, for example, you may have heard that money doesn't grow on trees. Most of us heard that from our parents. And you know, that actually makes us think negatively about money. So when your beliefs are being formed, it caused the subconscious mind to create an internal image of who you are because of those beliefs.
Pam (04:28): Every time a belief formed, the subconscious mind included it into your blueprint. And this blueprint affects every part of your life actions, your experiences and your thoughts. The only part of you that knows the blueprint is the subconscious. It's going to work really hard to keep up that image. So unless you change the blueprint, it'll stop you from getting what you want in your life. And that's not what we want for you. So just know that these limiting beliefs, they really control your actions and your thoughts. So when you want or desire something, you need to think beyond that blueprint that we have, or else your limiting beliefs will rear their ugly head and keep you from attaining what you want. So think of these limiting beliefs as scripts that play over and over in our head. And it's automatic. We really don't think about them.
Pam (05:19): They're made up of what you believe about yourself and your potential for success. So let's see Jane, I bet you'll identify with some of these. So let's have a listen and see how many we identify with I'm ready. Let's do it. All right. Anything you think of saying has already been said and much better than you can say it. Yeah. If people really knew you, they wouldn't like you, those people saying nice things about you are so sweet, but they just don't know you well enough to see how crummy really are. She has more experience than you do. She writes better than you do. How come you can't be more like her? You have to do it the right way.
Jane (06:03): Yeah. The right way. And anything short of perfection is just an abomination. You can not do that. Right?
Pam (06:12):
No wonder she's more successful. Look at all she's done have so been there myself. You're never going to be able to do everything that you're aiming for. You just want too much. You're not pretty enough thin enough. Young enough to be on camera. Hello? I'm sure. Every each and every one of us has heard that one inside her head.
Jane (06:33): Yeah. Everyone, nobody gets on. Camera goes, Oh, I look fantastic.
Pam (06:38): Isn't that the truth. It's not good enough. And I can totally relate to that with what I'm putting together, courses that I want to sell. Oh, it's not good enough. It's not perfect yet. I can't put this out there, but you know, when I do good is good enough. I have to tell you because you can always be revising and upgrading,
Jane (06:58): Right? Absolutely.
Pam (07:01): You're not worthy of being paid money.
Jane (07:04): Yeah. That's a big one for a lot of people.
Pam (07:06): Here's another big one: It's too late for you to try and make it big.
Pam (07:13): To the women that we really work with are 50 and above. So we hear this a lot, but it's never too late to start something. That's for sure your success is not sustainable. You suck at business. You're kidding yourself that people will pay for your services. Isn't that ridiculous? But these are all the kinds of thoughts that all of us have had at one time or another, or that continue to play in our heads. So, there are ways that you can beat these things up and beat them right out of your head. One of them is to pick a new script. So let me see for an example, let's just stick with my courses. There's no way I can create a course as good or as better as my last one. And you know, that's actually an underlying fear of expectations and fulfilment kind of interesting, but replace it with I'm a creative professional, good ideas are abundant in me and I'm always improving. So these are things that you say in your head and reinforce and maintain that new script. So take a post-it note and write that down, post it on your mirror, on your fridge, on your car rear view mirror, or something that you see a number of times throughout the day. And just repeat that over and over again, because what we hear in our subconscious mind becomes a belief. And if we can erased those old beliefs with our new script, we'll start to really believe it and erase that old.
Jane (08:51): That's true. And Pam, I don't know about you, but one of the things that I really have come to embrace is not taking a band-aid approach to the reframing meaning. So if I say something like nobody really needs the work that I do as an example, just to kind of take a deep breath and reframe it and go, everybody needs the work that I do, or my ideal clients need the work that I do. I always liken it to just kind of slapping a band-aid over a really deep wound. So when I think about inner game and reframing and changing things up, I really like to sink into what's the root of that feeling? Why would I tell myself something like that? Where did it come from? How long has it been that way? And I've really discovered this has been pretty profound for me.
Jane (09:32): Actually, once I started digging down and asking myself, what am I feeling and why am I feeling it? And then that would cause something to pop up and then I'd ask the same questions. What am I feeling? And why am I feeling it? And all of a sudden what I was really starting to find out is that it had nothing to do with whatever limiting belief I was telling myself. It was really deep. It was really deep and it doesn't have anything to do with the current moment, the current reality. So really giving yourself the space and the time and the permission to just go there, just go there rather than reframe really quickly and come up with some new language.
Pam (10:08): That's very true. You know, I have a great example because when I was younger, I would go for jobs, like apply for jobs that were beyond my experience level or my education. I just always went for them. And my mom would always say to me, you'll never get that. You're not qualified for that. You know, you're just not right for that job. And that kind of put in me that instilled in me kind of, I would put my back up and I would say, watch me. So that's kind of interesting because that kind of led me to be extremely competitive. I have to tell you that every time she said that to me, I got the job or I got the job offer!
Yeah. But it's things like that. And people don't say that to be mean to you. It's people that love us and they actually want to save us from hurt or disappointment. So my mom didn't want me to go into these job interviews with my hopes that way up high. And then they say, you're not qualified. We're not hiring you. So that's a really interesting one. But the other way that you can really help yourself along with this is really recognize a relapse. Just like you were saying, if it happens again to you, it is going to happen again. I mean, these are deep seated. And as I mentioned, a lot of these happen by the age of six, by the time we're six years old. So they're pretty deep seated. So you might have a relapse. So on those days, when you recognize that relapse, make your affirmations, if you will even stronger, like I am creative, and I have excellent ideas that people need to be exposed to. I mean, I can really help people or I take the steps to make powerful improvements to myself and my work. So really affirming with your affirmations will really help to dig that into your subconscious and change your story. Right?
Jane (12:15): It's just a story. And I think what happens for a lot of us is the story always serves to some extent, there's always some kind of payoff in that story. So the story of I'll never be good enough that serves in a way, because if you think you're never going to be good enough, then you won't have to go do the work. Well, if you don't have to do the work and the payoff is you can go do something else with your time. And the justification is I can go do this thing with my time because I'm certainly not going to go do the work. Why? Because I'm not going to be good enough for the work that I'm doing. Nobody's going to want it fix it.
Pam (12:47): Exactly. And if I don't do the work, then it can't be proven to me that I'm not good enough.
Jane (12:52): Right? So there's this justification. That's very powerful. And that is the payoff. So going back to sitting down, when I really got serious about this, and I would sit down and say, why am I feeling this? Or what am I feeling? And why am I feeling this way? The other thing I started to ask myself is what is the payoff? What is the payoff of not doing this work? What is the payoff of me not getting on a stage? I mean, that doesn't happen to be one for me because I love getting on the stage. But whatever your thing is, people will tend to say, well, there's no payoff for being unhealthy or not working my business or pursuing my dreams. There's, there's no payoff because that's what I really want. And what I discovered is that there always is a payoff, because if there isn't a payoff, you'd have no reason to stay in that situation. You would go pursue your dreams. You would get more healthy. You would go do the work that you feel you're called to do,
Pam (13:46): Right? The payoff, or what are you avoiding? I think that a big one too, but I just want people to think about it when you're saying those things to yourself, like I'm fat, I'm not smart. Those kinds of things. If a friend could hear your thoughts, what would you want her to hear you saying to yourself instead that can really help you to turn things around?
Jane (14:09): I have a really good friend who, anytime she hears me talking in terms about myself, that's less than flattering. She will always say, Oh, be nice to my friend Jane. And yes, that's such a great thing to say to somebody.
Pam (14:24): It is absolutely. But I just want to sum up inner game by saying to you that you're not alone. Absolutely. All of us have these feelings. And I have a couple of really famous quotes from people that you'll know to know that these people believe it or not have limiting beliefs to even the amazing Maya Angelou had negative thoughts. And these thoughts revolved around, believe it or not imposter syndrome. So here's one of our quotes around that. I've written 11 books, but each time I think, Oh, they're going to find out. Now I've run a game on everybody. And they're going to find me out. That's our Maya. Hello from Emma Watson. It's almost like the better I do. The more my feelings of inadequacy actually increases because I'm just going any moment someone's going to find out I'm a total fraud and that I didn't deserve any of what I achieved.
Pam (15:24): Yeah. From Penelope Cruz. I feel every time I'm making a movie, I feel like it's my first movie. Every time I have the same fear that I'm going to be fired and I'm not joking every movie the first week, I always feel they could fire me. And from one of my personal heroes, because she just seems to be able to do everything to me, Jennifer Lopez, I'm very insecure about my voice after being told for so many years that you're not as good as this person or that person, it beats away on your insecurities. I always wanted to be a singer and a dancer, but when they start dissecting you like that, it does work away on your insecurities. You know, I'm like, wow. I thought it was good at this. It does get to you. I'm only human.
Jane (16:12): There you go. She's only human. Jennifer Lopez. Only human intervene. Only human. Certainly the rest of us could have to be only human and not so much in admittance really, as rather an acknowledgement. I am only human.
Pam (16:29): Absolutely. So we're going to be diving into inner game a lot more in upcoming episodes. And we're even going to be interviewing some mindset experts around this subject because this is something we really got to nail in order to really have success in our business. The success that we really
Jane (16:48): Or looking for it is so incredibly important because without this piece, you're going to do some tactics and then you're gonna get in your own head and then you're going to create a strategy. And then you're going to fall into your limiting belief patterns. So I'm really excited for the upcoming experts that we'll be interviewing later in later podcasts, because they're all amazing. And they've just got some incredible stuff to say about this topic. Do they ever
Pam (17:14): Awesome. So you're talking to us now about vision and strategy,
Jane (17:18): Vision and strategy. Let's tee this up, cause this is some good stuff here too. So inner game, you always want to start there without your inner game. It's going to be really challenging to implement any of the other foundational pillars and remember all of the pillars. They're not in succession. It's not a linear path that you're following. They're all interconnected. So we're going to continue to remind you of the interconnectedness of these eight pillars. At times they tend to be more linear and it's kind of necessary to follow them any more linear, but the fact remains. They're always going to be interconnected and they're all up in each other's business without understanding that it's a challenge really to get that business pulled together. So you can scale. You can leverage, you can build the business that you really have always wanted to build and create the vision.
Jane (18:07): Here we go. So let's talk about vision first. You know, there's actually, people have probably heard this. It happens to come out of the Bible, but it says where there is no vision, the people perish. And to me, that's just straight up common sense. So every morning when you get up, it's you have a vision. You have a vision of what you want to look like when you walk out the door. So...
