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Field NotesWhat might be worse than dying from the virus is the lack of sex we're all having as a result of social isolation. The CDC is making coronacels out of all of us, telling us to stop giving rim jobs and to stop licking toilets (technically and practically also a "rim job"???), and isn't it about time someone stood up to them and told them to stop kink shaming? If I want to catch the virus just to trigger the libs that's MY RIGHT as an American.
At least we still have Animal Crossing to play no wait just kidding PETA ruined it for us. FUCK. I'm so frustrated in so many different ways right now. One fetish they can't take away from us though is this Malort flavored hand sanitizer. Yes, I did say "flavored." Perfect for sanitizing your hands after going to the grocery store, and for sanitizing your tongue after licking shit, no matter what the surface.
Anyway thanks for listening as always, and remember: when we all run out of food, celebrities are fair game and it doesn't count as cannibalism because they're not really people.
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