1 or 1000 you’re still lonely

webstix.com Tony Herman - the coolest cat on the net

 

TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com 

 

One is the loneliest number… 

 

One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody. Mother Theresa

 

Loneliness almost seems impossible today even in a world were we are told right now to be isolated and protect our health. We can be surrounded by dozens of people daily, and even come home to family and still feel lonely. IN fact with social media we can have thousands of friends and interact with hundreds daily and still be lonely. In fact with all the ways we should seemingly be over friended and over appreciated and known, it actually makes it seem worse. The idea of “how could I be lonely with all the people around me in my life”. The truth is we are lonely when we don’t feel like people really take the time to get to know us.

And the same goes for us not taking time to get to know others. 

 

WE can become lonely for many reasons. We may grow up distancing ourselves from others for protection (having been hurt earlier in our lives) and so it is safe, and we are in control and then we just learn how to let people know only our front page… and we hide the 15 chapters behind the our front cover.

 

The truth is that the people who can self adjust and realign to a healthy balance are the ones who have the most healthy relationships around them. Some are deep, some are friendly, some are casual but they are all healthy.

 

But today it’s not about your loneliness it is about those you come in contact with daily. How can you be one of those healthy relationships that others count on for stability and balance.

 

Practice vulnerability. 

Don’t be afraid that some people might look at you differently due to your own failures, foibles and fears. That is what makes you memorable and endearing. I don’t want a friend that seemingly has it all together and no struggles. I want angst, pain and some questions -at least from their past so they can relate to me.

*don’t hesitate to share your stories, they will strengthen others around you.

 

Practice listening. 

I would challenge you to go into the next 4 conversations and only ask questions. Try to feel what the other person is saying and continue to use your body language to express to them that you are listening. I can’t tell you how many times I simply listen to others and they tell me what a great conversation we had. Well… WE didn’t speak- They spoke, but because I listened they felt like they were important -so important that they felt like I said a lot in my attempt to care by listening. 

 

There is a young man at a store where they have greeters. I met him walking in about 2 years ago. I always made it a habit to talk to him. He has MS and his speech is a little hard to pick up on- and his body looks like the gymnast who lands and then bobbles the landing and twerks a little… except his body does it constantly. But over time we have had some great conversations- in fact we have become friends. I will sit in the front and talk to him for 10-20 minutes. He loves music and so do I. He goes to a lot of concerts… I go to concerts and we talk. A few months ago it was a slow day and we were talking a long time … in the middle of nowhere he says “I want to thank you for treating me like a real person, like a friend”. 

Heres a guy who sits at a door and has maybe a 1000 people walk by him daily and in his own words admits he is lonely. 

 

Let us as men change the culture of loneliness by reaching out to those around us.

 

Jesus cried out “Father Father why have you forsaken me… He knew the ultimate loneliness. He more than anyone understands how important it is that we never leave anyone alone no matter how many friends they may have.