Are You my Mother?

Join Erin and her guests, as they delve into what it means to be a child of a narcissistic parent.  Each fortnightly episode is crammed full of honesty, humour and hope.

One of my favourite childhood books was written by Dr Seuss. I remember it being both endearing and hilarious. A baby bird falls out of the nest and begins a quest for his mother. Along the way, he asks a kitten, a cow, a plane, a tugboat and a digger. As he confronts each one, he asks, ‘Are you my mother?’

I didn’t fall out of a nest, but I did go on a quest of my own. However, the question I asked sounded a bit different. I would look at my mom and say, ‘How could you be my mother?’

I knew what kind of mother I imagined and mine was nothing like her. That reality and the utter disappointment that came with it didn’t prevent me from pursuing and fulfilling my lifelong dream of becoming a mother. For the past 30 years, I have been living my dream and have completed my quest. I couldn’t (and can’t) change the mother I have, but I chose to become the mother I had always imagined.