Can’t vs. Won’t

By framing a situation as a choice rather than a constraint, a person is taking control of the situation and expressing their agency and determination.

By changing your language, you (your child, and colleagues) can learn to view obstacles as opportunities for growth, rather than insurmountable barriers.

Examples:

1. A former couch potato who transformed into a marathon runner. He used to say "I can't run a mile without getting winded," but changed their mindset to "I won't let being out of shape hold me back."
2. A person who overcame a fear of public speaking. He used to say, "I can't speak in front of a crowd," but changed their mindset to "I won't let my fear control me."
3. A person who quit smoking. They used to say, "I can't quit smoking," but changed their mindset to "I won't let nicotine control my life."
4. An individual who changed careers from a dead-end job to their dream job. They used to say, "I can't change careers because I have bills to pay," but changed their mindset to "I won't let financial instability hold me back from pursuing my passion."
5. A student who replaced "I can't pass this exam" with "I won't give up on studying until I understand the material" and was able to overcome their academic difficulties and achieve their goal.

The words we use can shape our thoughts, so choose them wisely.