A Tale of Two Clitties: It was the wettest of times, It was the driest of times

Chapters 10-12 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Harry seduces a snake. Hermione seduces Lockhart. Ron seduces Crabbe and Goyle. 
And Moaning Myrtle seduces literally everyone. Come drink the polyjuice potion and let’s get weird. 

 

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