It can feel very lonely when we don’t experience love. A sense of abandonment. To know that ‘I am loved’ is like the permanent embrace of presence.
To be loved and know it deeply is, I think, the quest of every heart. According to early Church writer Paul, it is the greatest of all.
When you know you’re loved, there is a sense you are held and known. There is a completeness to who you are.
But, in all honesty, the love most of us have experienced is like store-bought tomatoes.
These tomatoes are seemingly perfect. Round, red, and full of juice. They may even have a label to make sure you know that it’s a tomato.
We buy them, use them, feel we know what a tomato is like and all is well in our tomato world.
I never buy shop tomatoes because once you’ve tasted a REAL TOMATO you’ll never go back.
What I mean by a real tomato is one that has been grown in soil, under the heat of the sun, fed with organic fertilisers and simply allowed to grow at its own pace.
I simply can’t explain the difference, but I will try. The flavours are powerful and strong. There isn’t much juice because it’s all flesh. They are beautiful to look at and watch as they ripen.
I regularly give away some of my tomatoes. I ask people to enjoy the difference. To slowly, even mindfully, eat the tomato.
Why am I talking about tomatoes?
What’s the connection to love?
Love TastingWe all have had tastings of love.
It might be a romantic relationship.
Perhaps the love of a parent to a child and a child to a parent.
Grandparents holding the newborn grandchild. Nothing sweeter.
Or it could be the love of a dog to its owner. Maybe cats, but I’m not sure 🙂.
It’s all love. It’s beautiful and good. But it’s all quite tenuous and has the potential of being lost.
We hope the love will last forever but it relies on everyone playing nicely.
This love is real and true, and it’s part of God’s good creation, but I am afraid it’s much like shop bought tomatoes.
There is a love that I want to sit under and in. To be bathed in. A love that will hold me when the love notes of this world get tangled up and tossed aside.
It’s the full flavoured perfection of an organic tomato slowly grown .
I am lovedAll the other loves are signposts to a perfect love that I want and need to be immersed in.
When I know this deep love, in all its fulness of flavour and nutritional perfection, then I can face anything.
I can be stripped of my Mana (Maori word for prestige, authority, influence, spiritual power) and still return love.
I can be spat upon and crucified like the Christ, but still gift forgiveness to ignorance.
When we know this love surrounds us, we are unstoppable in the pursuit of wanting others to know this love.
We give tomatoes away and say, ‘O taste and see that the Lord is good’ Psalm 34:8
Cultivating the ‘I am loved’Back to tomatoes.
Even in the middle of winter, I still have a focus on the growth of tomatoes.
When I am collecting Autumn leaves to go into the compost, I tell people I am growing tomatoes.
When I am collecting bamboo canes for my tomatoes to grow up, I am growing tomatoes.
I look through the seed catalogues in spring, and I am growing tomatoes.
Growing the sense of being loved is a constant daily meditative activity.
My secret heart.Everyone of us has a secret heart. It’s that place where all the thoughts and feelings spring up from.
We don’t let many come near it. We want to keep it secret, hidden, and locked away.
But we know it’s there, and often it betrays us. We share something that we wish we could take back. We allow it to become vulnerable because we know it needs connection.
I want my secret heart to be full of wisdom.
David, in his penitent prayer, says this.
You desire truth in the inward being;
therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart. Psalm 51:6.
So daily, on my pilgrim’s quest for truth, I hear the words ‘I am loved’.
I have a recording of ‘I am’ declarations that I want to anchor my soul to.
But the greatest of all these is ‘I am loved’ 1 Corinthians 13: 13
Quotes to consider
Barry Pearman
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
Step Out of The Boat and Find a Stone
To Achieve the ‘YES’ one has to say the ‘No’
Are you Trying to Control the Uncontrollable?
What’s Your Ambient Stress Level?
Jesus of the Scars
Sitting Shiva is to say ‘I am with you’
Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble
When they say ‘Curse God and Die’
How is it With Your Soul
How Did They Receive Your story
Get Astounding Weight Loss and Peace at Being Forgiven
Do you Need Space and Time to Heal
A Change In Behavior, A Change In the Mind
Embracing the Pain and Finding the Christ light
True Repentance doesn’t Demand or Expect Forgiveness
Accepting Consequences and Finding Paradise
I want to make amends
Facing the Black and Finding some Light
When You’re Feeling Abandoned
I Want Help with my Untied Shoelaces
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