How To Actually Love Yourself (When Everyone Tells You That Getting Thinner Just Won’t Work)

2025-03-26

How to actually love yourself? If you’re on the body image healing road, you’ve probably been told multiple times, by multiple people that you simply need to love yourself. That your desire for thinness is a marker of not feeling good enough and that you’re seeking scraps of worthiness through conforming towards the ‘body ideal’. When I was in the dreary depths of bulimia, wise people would often dispense this advice to me with noble intentions. I would placatingly nod my head, whilst secretly rolling my eyes and having zero understanding of how to do this. It felt like some ephe...

How to actually love yourself?

If you’re on the body image healing road, you’ve probably been told multiple times, by multiple people that you simply need to love yourself.

That your desire for thinness is a marker of not feeling good enough and that you’re seeking scraps of worthiness through conforming towards the ‘body ideal’.

When I was in the dreary depths of bulimia, wise people would often dispense this advice to me with noble intentions.

I would placatingly nod my head, whilst secretly rolling my eyes and having zero understanding of how to do this.

It felt like some ephemeral, nice-to-have fluffy concept.

Self-love is sadly not a quick fix pill, rather a life-long journey that needs regular cultivation and attention.

And it’s an important journey to take. Otherwise, the miserable alternative is neurotic self-preoccupation and judgement.

It can’t be firmly rooted with a luxury bubble bath or spa visit, although these delights might be sprinkles on the top, of a cup filled fully.

A truly self-loving relationship offers an internal fortitude of peace and contentment. It vastly improves your relationships, romantic and otherwise. It allows the possible fulfilment and deep appreciation of work and hobbies. It allows you to form a haven inside of yourself.

In this episode, I explore how to navigate this self-love process with some practical steps for change. If you’re stuck in the dreary depths of self-loathing and compare-and-despair, then this podcast might be just what you need.

Harriet's Substack: https://substack.com/@theeatingdisordertherapist

Harriet Frew's current offers: -

Online 10 Steps to Intuitive Eating Course https://www.theeatingdisordertherapist.co.uk/online-courses.html

Online Breaking Free from Bulimia

https://www.theeatingdisordertherapist.co.uk/bulimia-nervosa-online-course.html

Eating Disorders Training for Professionals

https://www.theeatingdisordertherapist.co.uk/eating-disorders-training-with-harriet-frew.html

Body Image Training for Professionals

https://www.theeatingdisordertherapist.co.uk/body-image-training-with-harriet-frew.html

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