In the NOW, the Art of Being Present

SHOW NOTES:

On this show...we will raise our hand when called, sitting up straight, and being present as we transport ourselves in the NOW. How many hours in the day do you spend rehashing a time past; fond memories, past mistakes, lost loves, easier times, or devastating tragedies? Maybe you focus on time travel as you brainstorm about the future; better times, new ventures, finally arriving, potential love, or the right recipe to finally achieving happiness. Wherever you are today, why not try the here and now. Today, at the moment, as it happens….the art of being present. Is it possible to live life without expectations? Relying on who you are today to get you through the hour. So many minutes, hours, days, months, years are spent mentally traveling through time instead of drinking in the special moments made in the NOW. 

I for one struggle with the NOW. I’m busy, busy, always planning and doing and before I know it, a whole day has gone by and I’m exhausted. I love to brainstorm new ideas and make grand plans. What could be? For me, these aren’t just pipedreams but in most cases, something I activate and add to my plate. 

Meditation always seemed to slow. I would sit there waiting for something to happen and my mind would be in a million different places. The first time I tried yoga I thought the same thing - this isn’t exercise! Before that rubs you the wrong way I now know my line of thinking was all skewed. I kept thinking I was supposed to be pushing myself, huffing and puffing. Then one day I was able to relax my mind and concentrate on what I was doing at the moment and I found it both challenging and relaxing.

The relaxing part for me was giving my mind a break. I’ve always said if mind racing burnt calories I would be in such great shape haha. I have yet to be consistent with anything but burning the candle at both ends but this IS something I strive for. So here, in the now, I’m saying it to all of you. My goal is to create more moments throughout my day to give my mind a treat, relax, and just BE. 

Gunjan Johar lays out the timeline of Past, Present, Future: Where Do You Spend Your Time? In her article for medium.com

Exerts from the content:

Some people focus on what “should” have happened or what “should” happen instead of on what “is” happening. They blame others for slights that occurred decades ago and unfortunately, they are usually the only one who remembers this. They have difficulty forgiving others or themselves and this prevents them from letting go and moving forward in a healthy manner.

No matter what your situation, you always have the option to change. We are all able to restart our life if we make the decision to do so, but your way of thinking has to change.

I realize letting go of an old way of thinking may not be as easy as it sounds. “Just let go” or “get over it!” - our minds have a nasty habit of running away with our thoughts and the logical you, feels like you’re chasing it down saying “HEY give that back!”. But there are ways to start the process of asserting more control.

And that may be where you are on your journey. You’ve hit the mile marker of starting to become more aware of these habits in order to make a shift. Perfect. Let’s start there…

Darius Foroux gives us a tactic with Past, Present, and Future: Use Time Perspectives to Live Better found at dariusforoux.com

Exerts from the content:

The 3-time perspectives of the human mind

Past, Present, and Future

The 1/9/90 principle of time perspectives

1% past-focused: I take about 15 minutes a day to journal. But I don’t just think about the past when I journal. I try to occasionally reflect on the past to learn. 

9% future-focused: This is the time I dedicate to planning and thinking about the future. I always want to be aware of the fact that life can be long. For example, I spend time creating fitness routines and buying healthy food because I know that’s better for future-me.

90% present-focused: This is when I execute my plans and the time I spend enjoying my days. While I might plan only 9% of the time, the actual work happens here: Working out, writing, reading, doing chores, eating, traveling, and so forth. I don’t want to be lost in thought when I do these things.

It’s hard to embrace the joy of the NOW when you believe your best times have already come and gone. Remember the “easier times” you know - before bills, responsibility, complicated relationships, children. The time in your life when it was all about you. 

Tim Hill explains; Why Am I Always Thinking About The Past? In his article found at timhillpsychotherapy.com

Exerts from the content:

Introspection can lead you to learn more about yourself. 

Rumination – regret and ‘wheel spinning'

Telling the difference between rumination and introspection

• If you feel that you are drawing lessons from the past, or enjoying the past then it's more likely that you're being introspective. On the other hand, if your thoughts about the past are full of regrets and bitterness, or your thoughts have a repetitive automatic quality, it's likely that you are ruminating.

Visualizing yourself where you want to be and what you want to be doing is important in creating goals and harnessing the motivation to reach them. But where is the balance? Remember talking about the pendulum swing from extreme to the extreme? In all things, a healthy balance is an ultimate goal. 

Author Claudia Hammond exposes the behavior of;  Why You're Spending Time Thinking About the Future in the Present found at ttbook.org

Listen to the show for this wonderful perspective

Art Markman helps in this exploration with; These are the times when thinking about the future is unproductive - in his article for fastcompany.com

• PREDICTION IS HARD
• ADAPTATION IS KEY
• BALANCE DREAMS WITH WORK

 KEY HIGHLIGHTS 

1. Create more moments throughout your day to give your mind a treat, relax, and just BE. 
2. When your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are devoted to the past or the future, you are robbing today!
3. You cannot reach your potential and make good choices if you are trying to resolve issues from the past or predict the future.
4. Sometimes people focus all their energy on what hasn’t even happened yet.
5. Awareness of time perspectives helps you enjoy your days, learn from the past, and shape a better future.
6. Ultimately, we all want to make the best use of our time. So no matter what you do, don’t wait for life to bring you joy, clarity, or purpose. 
7. Rumination -rather than being a way out of problems, it's often a way to replay our failures and torture ourselves.
8. Visualizing yourself where you want to be and what you want to be doing is important in creating goals and harnessing the motivation to reach them.
9. One of the things people think about the future is that they will have more spare time. And there is no evidence that we'll have any more spare time in the future.
10.  Just about every success story also involves a lot of hard work.

 

CHALLENGE: take ownership over your mental mind travel to find a healthy balance of past, present, and future. Set your sights on letting go of what has already happened to make room for what is yet to go. Add action to your daydreaming so you can spend the majority of your time in the NOW, enjoying life as it unfolds.

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!