#93 -Rob Regan COO Principality Building Society

Working to Live: Finding the Balance with Rob Regan

What's the most important thing to you in life? Most people would say something like friends, family, or living comfortably. But how much of your time goes to those things? More often than not, 'successful' people spend almost all their days in their careers, unable to be with the things they say are the most important. 

This episode delves into the concept of "working to live" as we explore Rob Regan's journey. He describes the three most powerful years in his life and how they all involve the most important things to him: family, rugby, and work. Most executives get completely stuck at the office, but Rob has found the balance between work and the rest of his life. 

As for how he did it, sometimes we really have to take a terrifying step away from what we've been doing all our lives. If you're wondering how to get back to what you love the most while still managing your career — and, frankly, the rest of your life — then this episode is for you.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

1. Discover the art of working to live.
2. Learn what it means to be genuinely vulnerable — no matter how tough you seem.
3. Uncover what it means to become who you are and return to what’s most important to you, even if you’ve lost touch for a while.

Resources 

• Contact Rob on LinkedIn
• Coaching with Angela Cox
• Listen to The Mindset Mentor Meets

Episode Highlights 

[01:43] Rob’s Balancing Act

• Rob tries to balance his life around family, rugby, and work. His wife, Nicola, might disagree on his priorities, but he does his best to keep things equal.
• He admits that he doesn't do much outside those three things.
• Rob also questions himself often: can he say he's proud of himself, or is he proud of what he's done?

[03:31] First of the Biggest Years: 2010

• Rob's biggest years and proudest moments involve the birth of his daughter, Amy, in 2010.
• Rob and Nicola had difficulty having Amy and needed to undergo IVF. But Amy came into this world successfully.
• 2010 was also a big year for him and rugby.
• Rob admits that he doesn't have a talent for rugby, but his skill in the sport — like at work — comes from tremendous effort to build himself up rather than innate talent.
• He captained the Bromley RFC's third team at 35, leading them to a big win over their rivals in a high-scoring game.

[08:56] A Story of Childhood Sweethearts

• Nicola and Rob got together at 14 and stayed together for nine years.
• Rob admits that he wasn't a good partner at the time — and even says that he ticked every box on how not to be a great boyfriend.
• They eventually split up in their early twenties and got married to different partners but returned to each other much later on.

[10:32] Second of the Biggest Years: 2020

• In 2020, Rob experienced the COVID lockdown. It was tough for Amy, as she had joined several clubs that required being physically at the club.
• Rob is particularly proud of how his family, particularly Amy, worked together to overcome the challenges of being in a lockdown.
• On his end, Rob was about to sell his company, which made his work life extremely difficult.
• Rob didn't feel that he was working at home. Instead, he felt that he was living at work.
• While his proudest moments in 2020 were the excellent outcomes for Amy, Rob is also glad that he learned to prioritise himself and his family over work.

[17:31] Becoming Who You Are, Again

• 2020 was a period of enormous changes for Rob, between leaving Royal London, selling the business, and the looming pandemic.
• Rob said that he’d been struggling with a complete loss of identity.
• His raison d'etre had been work for so long and nothing else.

[20:10] Third of the Biggest Years: 2023

• In 2023, Amy played the part of Miss Honey in Matilda. On the last night of the performances, a little girl asked Amy for her autograph.
• Amy was somewhat nervous and anxious growing up but being in theatre boosted her confidence.
• 2023 was also about mental health for Rob and Nicola.
• Nicola’s healthier now after receiving a cancer diagnosis back in 2018.
• On Rob's end, the Principality Building Society has a healthy culture that takes employee well-being seriously. He ended up telling his life story during a lunch and learn session.

[25:37] What It Means to Be Vulnerable

• Many people, particularly executives, view vulnerability as a tick-box exercise. However, true vulnerability is raw honesty.
• Being vulnerable, according to Rob, is unsettling and scary. He admits he's been a bit of a control freak all his life, so being vulnerable feels utterly alien.
• 2023 was a year of real enlightenment for Rob — it's taught him to recognise his flaws better.
• He's always felt out of his depth when it comes to work. Rob describes himself as the electrician who, somehow, ended up running a £17b investment business.

[32:28] This Is What Matters

• Your job, titles and promotions matter less than you might think.
• Rob spent so much of his life chasing his career but found that his family was far more important than anything at his job.
• Rob has a few regrets, one of them involving how he treated people.
• He believes there's no excuse for that — you have to accept responsibility, even if you don't know how badly you acted at the time.

[35:22] The Definition of Success

• Rob’s secret to success is about defining success for yourself first.
• The environment most people live in is relentless, thankless, and in some work cultures, ruthless, making resilience a critical core trait.
• However, Rob’s question about success is, ‘Are you comfortable with yourself and your own skin?’
• Rob's advice is to learn to like yourself without sounding too arrogant — you won't always please everyone.

5 Powerful Quotes

[04:18] 'I'm not a great rugby player. My rugby life and my work life are very similar, which is: bags of effort, and no talent.'

[16:22] ‘I finally realised that doing the right thing for yourself and your family was much more important than work — and it was absolutely terrifying. But I stepped away and decided I was going to retire.'

[24:48] ‘I could never imagine me: thick-skinned, cauliflower ear, Welsh rugby bloke being able to say stuff that would help people and make a difference in our space.’

[27:06] 'Every day is still a school day. I've got all the same flaws I've always had, but I'm getting better at recognising them.'

[34:14] 'I wasn't always the best version of myself; I didn't always treat people the way that they deserve to be treated. I tried to correct some of that later on with some individuals, and they kind of look at you a bit, "Well, shame you didn't think of that 10, 15 years ago, but you can't change the past," and what I'll do is do a better job.

About Rob

Rob Regan is the CEO of the Principality Building Society, a multi-billion pound building society. Rob has worked as an executive in multiple companies, including the Lloyds Banking Group, Royal London, and Ascentric. However, at the end of everything, he discovered that family is the most important thing in life.

You can connect with Rob through LinkedIn.

Enjoy this Podcast?

What's the most important thing to you? Defining success is all about what you want from life. Some people wish to have high-powered careers. Others might like a quiet life. Rob prefers his family. All these goals — and more — are valid gauges of success. If you learned something new from today's The Mindset Mentor Meets episode, hit subscribe and share it with your friends!

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To meeting inspiration,

Angela