March 5 - Sex is for companionship

You’re listening to OKY. The place where we discuss what we believe and why we believe it to be true! The last two days we have been discussing sex and sexuality. If you didn’t listen to march 3 and 4, go back and listen to those first. And, as I unfold this conversation a little more, if you have any questions, comments, or pushback, please feel free to reach out me at michaelgrove1@icloud.com or by messaging me on instagram and Facebook, or by calling or texting 630-995-1253…

 

So we’ve seen two reasons why God created sex and sexuality. The first one, is so that we can understand unity. When two things that are diverse agree together as one, they are unified like the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Able to function as one, even though they are 3 parts. 

 

Then yesterday we saw that sex is something that helps us understand intimacy inside of that unity. It is the most vulnerable and committed unity one might ever experience. It is important to note that each of these builds upon the other. So outside of unity, intimacy doesn’t happen the same way. An intimate experience between two diversely different beings takes things to a whole deeper level. Then, there is the next component. 

 

Genesis 2:18-22

The Lord God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 

 

Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. 

 

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

 

The man said, 

 

“This is now bone of my bones

And flesh of my flesh’

She shall be called ‘woman,’

For she was taken out of man.” 

 

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 

 

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. 

 

This is a great text that actually covers all of the first three reasons God created sex and sexuality. Which, by the way, the three reasons I’ve given and am about to give, are not systematic. It’s not that God said here is the first reason, and here is the second. This is the order I am choosing to give them in, because I think they show the heart of what God is trying to get at even more than just naming them as they appear in the scriptures. 

 

But look at the first one. God created sex for us to understand unity, Eve was taken out of Adam and was different. Yet the two became one. In fact, the text goes on to say that this is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. This is the unity of what God intended. 

 

Second, we see intimacy. It says that they were naked and felt no shame. When sin comes in a the next chapter, shame is introduced because it breaks intimacy with each other. They then learn to not be intimate with God as they hide from him in the garden. 

 

But the third reason God created sex and sexuality, is because Adam was alone. God brought all the animals to Adam in order that he might name them. This was God inviting Adam into the creation process with him. But there was no creature that would fulfill Adam. He was incomplete. Remember, that word good that we see in the creation narrative is a word of completion. It’s a functional word that shows something is able to exist in the way God designed it to. But Adam, could not. He was alone. 

 

So God made a counterpart for him. 

 

Why? Because he was alone. 

 

There was no way for him to experience unity. No way for him to experience intimacy. And no way for him to experience what we will talk about tomorrow. He was alone. . . . 

 

God didn’t want Adam to miss out on experiencing everything else, so he created him - what in the Hebrew - is a help mate. Someone to bring him into completion. Yes, Jerry Mguire had it right. To woman, man should say - You complete me. . . 

 

See, true companionship comes  - not from sex - but from unity, intimacy, and the ability to be together. When you have a spouse who works along side of you to help you become everything that you are supposed to be, that’s companionship. Marriages are build on people who are designed to complement one another. They fill in and compensate for each others weaknesses. Together, a couple can reach a stronger status of health and life, as they support one another through the best of times and the worst of times. Marriage is designed to be an example for those around you. This is what healthy life and relationship looks like. And, it is designed to model relationship with the Heavenly Father. 

 

Now what does that mean for single people? 

 

That is the question that most single people will ask me at this point. 

 

And they are looking for some validation that they matter without a spouse. 

 

And they do! 

 

That however, has nothing to do with God’s created purpose for sex.  

 

So I won’t address singleness in this podcast, other than to say, God intended this type of unity and intimacy and even companionship to be experienced through marriage. Does that mean that single people get ripped off unless they are married? Not at all. They get to stand as witness to what healthy relationships look like. They pull and learn from healthy marriages to understand the love God has for them as well. It’s why there are so many conversations about and around marriage in the Bible. Even the final banquet when we go to see Jesus is called “the marriage super of the Lamb.” But that doesn’t mean that single people are less than or have a less than relationship with the Lord. He uses marriage for all people to see and understand intimacy. It’s through marriage that he illustrates unity in diversity. And it’s through marriage that he shows others what true companionship looks like. 

 

So what should you do if you are married? 

 

Be the best example of unit you can ever portray. This looks like being one in how you talk and present yourself. It means being aligned in ideology and practices. It looks like keeping vows of intimacy to remain between husband and wife, making sure that no one else has access to the same level of intimacy with you than your spouse. And, it means being great companions with one another. Sharing the best and worst parts of who you are, how you feel, and what your day is like. If you do this, you will be perfectly aligned for the fourth and final part of why God created sex and sexuality.. . . . But I’ll tell that to you tomorrow. For now, that’s all the time we have left for today. I love you, and God bless!