Les, Kurt, and Jason are about to take on the Horniest Hallmark Movie ever (by Hallmark standards), but first we find out that Kurt has finally watched the Fyre Festival documentary on Netflix... and a video of Blac Chyna twerking on OnlyFans. This leads Jason to the realization that pole dancing is way easier in outer space (no gravity!). All this talk of porn sites and pole dancing makes the guys realize it's time to talk about a Hallmark movie, 2016's Wedding Bells starring Danica McKellar. Luckily, Kurt thinks he's ok with Danica now after not wanting to give Danica her due on an earlier episode of this podcast ("Christmas at Dollywood is a Chance to Debate the Merits of Peppermint vs. Wint-O-Green"). We find out that Danica's character had a disturbing childhood filled with diet foods and (we assume) a philandering father, but not as disturbing as her love interest whose dad is torn between being played by Bruce Boxleitner (The Scarecrow and Mrs. King) and Gil Gerard (Buck Rogers). Les is not fulfilled by the movies many many montages as none of them include dressing up and twirling, so the guys all realize that they need to find the zen of Petticoat Junction... followed by 20 minutes of nationally televised dry humping.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Eric Roberts, Matt Rife, and (not) Jimmy Buffet Don’t Want You to Sleep on Stalked by My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare
Your Aunt Gert Carries Some Magic Lemon Drops and Has Probably Been in a Bar Fight
A Costa Rican Wedding Gets Lost in the Jungle Because Monkeys Stole Anything Potenially Likable about This Movie
Miss Cleo: Her Rise and Fall with Tarot Specialist, Paranormal Investigator, and Thighmaster-stan Ken Boggle
Throwback Thursday Replay: One Royal Holiday
I Thought My Husband’s Wife Was Dead but She was Just in a Nap Dress and it Wasn’t Blac Chyna
Throwback Thursday Replay: Psycho Stripper
A World Christmas Record is Set in Losing Loose Legal Documents in a Zipliess Situation
Throwback Thursday Replay: Edge of the Garden
Lies and Ex Wives: Secrets on Maple Street is Apparently Part of a Series of Movies Trying to be Despearate Housewives
Throwback Thursday Replay: Salt-N-Pepa
Ms. Christmas Comes to Town And Can Go Straight to Hell
Throwback Thursday Replay: Christmas with a Prince
The Amish Stud Goes on Rumspringa with Too Many Barbaras, a Bishop with Too Much Spirit Gum, and Joyce Dewitt Type with Too Many Tattoos
Throwback Thursday Replay: My Stepfather's Secret
Falling Like Snowflakes Proves to be a Worthy Showcase for the Graduating Class of the Park Ranger Academy of the Arts
Throwback Thursday Replay: One Winter Proposal
A Game of Post Office Happens Because My Mom Made Me Do It and Love Laughs at Locksmiths
Throwback Thursday Replay: Killer Contractor
For Love and Honey Hits the Sweet Spot With Bad Bee Puns, An Invaluable Infrared Guy, and a Hot Mayor Who’s Really Hot
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