The Neuroscience of Resilience: Building Stronger Minds and Teams: Insights from Grant Upbeat Bosnick (Chapter 14)

Welcome back to Season 12 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning podcast, where we connect the science-based evidence behind social and emotional learning and emotional intelligence training for improved well-being, achievement, productivity, and results using practical neuroscience.

In Episode 344, we continue with our 18-week self-leadership series, diving into Chapter 14 of Grant Bosnick's book to explore the neuroscience of resiliency. We revisit past episodes with Horacio Sanchez to understand the factors that contribute to resilience and discuss the intriguing analogies presented by Bosnick, including the donkey in the well and the carrot, egg, and coffee bean story.

Learn how to build resilience within yourself and your teams by focusing on Patrick Lencioni's five functions of a high-performing team. Discover how developing willpower, a crucial faculty of the mind, can enhance your ability to overcome adversity. We also delve into new research on the anterior mid-cingulate cortex, a brain region associated with willpower and resilience.

Join us as we uncover strategies to harness resilience, strengthen our brains, and emerge stronger from life's challenges. Don't miss this insightful episode that equips you with the tools to face adversity head-on and lead with resilience.

On today's EPISODE #344 “The Neuroscience of Resilience: Building Stronger Minds and Teams” we will cover:

✔ A review of past EP 74 and EP 286 on “Building Resiliency, Grit and Mental Toughness”

✔ A review of Horacio Sanchez’s work on resiliency: protective vs risk factors.

✔ Ch. 14 from Grant Bosnick’s Tailored Approaches to Self-Leadership book with 2 intriguing analogies presented by Bosnick, including the donkey in the well and the carrot, egg, and coffee bean story.

✔ Learn how to build resilience within yourself and your teams by focusing on Patrick Lencioni's five functions of a high-performing team. Discover how developing willpower, a crucial faculty of the mind, can enhance your ability to overcome adversity.

✔ Discover how developing willpower, a crucial faculty of the mind, can enhance your ability to overcome adversity.

✔ We also delve into new research on the anterior mid-cingulate cortex, a brain region associated with willpower and resilience.

For Today, EPISODE #344, we are moving on to Chapter 14, reviewing “The Neuroscience of Resiliency,” a topic we have covered a few times on this podcast, way back with Horacio Sanchez, who named his Educational Consulting Business Resiliency Inc. back on EP #74[i] and then we did a deep dive Brain Fact Friday on EP #286 “Building Resiliency, Grit and Mental Toughness.”[ii] On this episode we reviewed Horacio Sanchez’s definition of resiliency as “a collection of protective risk factors that you have in your life” and that there are some factors we are born with, and others come in through childhood, family, school, life events and social experiences.

Horacio reminds us that “if you have little risk, it takes less to be resilient. But—if you have a lot of risk, it takes a lot more protective factors to offset the scale.”  This is why two people can possibly respond in two completely different ways after a traumatic experience. One person walks away, dusts themselves off, and recovers quickly, (they had more reservoirs of resilience to tap into) while the other has a completely different outcome, and needs more assistance to get back on track.

With resiliency, we can overcome adversity or difficulty and have good outcomes in our life, but you can see why not everyone is born with exactly the same protective factors needed, so we don’t all have the same levels of resiliency. Horacio mentioned that “25% of the population are naturally resilient” and his work focuses on instilling this trait in those who are not naturally resilient due to the number of risk factors associated to them. To this day, he continues with his mission, flying around the country, helping our next generation of students to become more resilient.

Resiliency came out as a low priority for me with the with 0% (Pathway 5) along with Change and Agility, and it makes more sense to me now that I understand the protective and risk factors that I faced growing up as a child, from my family, from school, life and social events. When I review the list, I can see that I was fortunate to have more protective factors, than risk.  

IMAGE FROM EP 74 with Horacio Sanchez.

If you’ve taken the leadership self-assessment[iii], look to see if Resilience (in Pathway 5) along with change and agility, is of a low, medium or high priority for you to focus on this year.

If you haven’t listened to EP 74, or 286, where we dove deeper into the building resiliency, grit and mental toughness, I highly encourage that you listen to both of these episodes, in addition to what we will uncover today on resiliency.  

So what does Grant Bosnick have to say about building resilience in ourselves, and our teams in chapter 14 of his book? He opens up the chapter with a situation with a farmer and his donkey, who had fallen into a hole in the ground, (a well) and couldn’t get out. Finally, after trying to get the donkey out, he gave up, and decided to shovel dirt into the well, since the donkey was old, and not worth saving. At first Grant writes that the donkey cried with the dirt being shoveled onto him, until he eventually stopped and was quiet. When the farmer looked into the hole he was amazed at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt, the donkey would shake it off his back, and use the dirt to climb up higher, until he was able to easily step out of the hole and trot off happily.

What Grant is showing us at the start of this chapter is that we all will have dirt shoveled on our backs in our life, and “that we can either get buried in the dirt or shake it off and take a step up. Each adversity we face is a stepping stone, and we can get out of the deepest wells by shaking off the dirt and taking a step up.” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 160).

There was another analogy in Grant’s book that I liked, about a carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee.  The story went like this. There was a young woman who went to her mother one day, complaining the things were difficult for her with her life. Her mother took her into the kitchen and filled three pots with water, and placed them on the elements, bringing each one to a boil. One pot she placed carrots in, the second, an egg and the third one, coffee beans. After 20 minutes, she asked her daughter what she saw. Her mother’s explanation was eye-opening.

She explained to her daughter that “each of these objects faced the same adversity—boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it was softer and became weak. The egg was fragile…but after being in the boiling water, it’s inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. (Bosnick writes that) after being in the boiling water, they changed the water…(and the mother asked her daughter) when adversity faces you, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 161).

Grant asks the reader of his book to think about this question. Which one would you pick? “Are you the carrot that seems strong but with pain and adversity (wilted) and became soft, losing its strength? Are you the egg that starts with a soft heart, but hardens with the heat? Or are you like the coffee bean that actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that (brought) the pain?” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 161). I’m hoping that we all desire to experience change with the adversity we face.

Bosnick gives two real-life examples of famous people who took their pain, and changed for the better, because of it. Terry Fox, a distance runner from British Columbia, Canada was his first example and Kawhi (Ka-why) Leonard, a professional basketball player from the NBA. You can look up these stories, if you don’t know them already. Growing up in Canada, I remember Terry Fox’s story well. Terry Fox took the pain of a cancer diagnosis that led to one of his legs being amputated and replaced with an artificial leg, and rather than giving up, or becoming hard or soft, he changed the situation with his Marathon of Hope.  It was “first held in 1981, and has now grown to involve millions of participants in over 60 countries and is now the world’s largest one-day fundraiser for cancer research, with over $750 million Canadian dollars raised in his name.” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 162).

Bosnick reminds us that “resilience is not only about bouncing back from adversity, but rather it is about surviving and thriving through the stress caused by the adversity, and changing our situation to make it better.” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 162).

Building Resilience in Ourselves and Then with Our Teams

After Bosnick focused on building resilience in ourselves, he went on to show how to build resilience in our teams, and he mentioned a book, that we have recently talked about with mediation expert John Ford, from EP 340.[iv]   I love making connections with past episodes, and when I read Bosnick mention The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni[v], I went straight back to that episode with John Ford. In chapter 14, Bosnick outlines “the five dysfunctions of teams: absence of trust, fear of conflict, lack of commitment, avoidance of accountability, and inattention to results. (Next he outlines) the five functions of a high performing team: trust, absence of fear of conflict, commitment, accountability and attention to results.” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 170).

Bosnick writes that “when we feel accountable and have attention to results, we adopt a mindset or attitude of control, which enables us to take direct, hands-on action to transform changes, adversities and the problems that they may cause…If we believe that we can influence the outcome of an adverse situation, we are more apt to push ourselves to deal with it. If the opposite is true, we may question our ability to turn adversity around and stop trying.” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 171).

When I think of a recent time that I faced adversity, and had to be resilient in the process, if I didn’t think it would be possible for me to be successful, there is no way I would have persevered. Each individual on a team must have this mindset, as they go through change and adversity. The focus must be on Lencioni’s work: “building a high functioning team—with trust, absence of fear of conflict, commitment, accountability and attention to results—(that) will lead to proactive behaviors and increase our own (personal) resilience and the resilience in our team.” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 171).

Bosnick offers a reflection activity in Chapter 14 where he asks the reader to:

1. Think of an adverse situation that you are facing at the moment (could be in your work or personal life).
2. Consider how this situation is making you feel. I’m going to add that if you feel like the situation is in control of you, then you are not going to win. You’ ve got to be confident that YOU are in control of whatever it is that you are going through.
3. How can you adopt a more prosocial mindset to see the adversity as opportunity to make things better for yourself and others? Thinking of the carrots, the egg and the coffee bean. What will it take to get you to become the coffee bean?
4. How can you help yourself and your team to be more high functioning? Thinking of Lencioni’s 5 Dysfunctions of a Team, how will you help your team to move towards trust, absence of fear of conflict, commitment, accountability and attention to results?

Developing Our Will to Overcome Adversity:

 What will it REALLY take for you to become more resilient and overcome adversity? It will take a highly developed Will Power. We have talked about how to develop this faculty of our mind on EP #294[vi] where we dove deep into the 6 Faculties of our Mind, with our Will Power being one of them. I do highly recommend listening to this episode if you want to review these important faculties.

Since I can always use a refresher myself, I’ll highlight what we covered on this important faculty that we will need to develop, to overcome adversity.

YOUR WILL: This is one of my favorite faculties. (out of the 6: along with our ability to reason, use our intuition, perception, memory and imagination). This one (The use of the Will) gives you the ability to concentrate. While sitting down to write this episode, I’ve gotten up from my desk a few times, but I’m determined to finish writing this, so I can record and release this today. That’s the will at work. You can also use the will to hold a thought on the screen of your mind, or choose thoughts of success, over thoughts of failure. OR-use the power of your Will to overcome the adversity you face, like Terry Fox, or Kawhi (Ka-why) Leonard. If you have a highly evolved will, you’ll lock into doing something, block out all distractions, and accomplish what you set out to do.

HOW TO DEVELOP THIS FACULTY TO OVERCOME CHALLENGE OR ADVERSITY?

Developing the will takes practice. Meditation can strengthen your will, but so can staring at a candle flame until you and the flame become one. I tried this activity in my late 20s, and remember it was a few hours of staring at this candle flame, before I was able to block out the distractions of the outside world, and the flame extended towards me.  This faculty, like the others, takes time and practice, but once you’ve developed this faculty, you’ll know you have the ability to sit, focus, and do anything. An extension of this activity would be that once you and the flame have become one, try to change the color of the flame. In your head say “blue, blue, blue” and watch the color of the flame turn to blue. Pick a different color and see if you can quickly change the color of the flame from blue, to red, to orange, to whatever color you think of.” This activity will strengthen your will.

BRINGING IN THE NEUROSCIENCE:

It was here that I wondered what neuroscience has to say about this topic. We have covered The Neuroscience of Resiliency on past episodes, but we have not yet covered some new research that Dr. Andrew Huberman discovered this past year about what happens to our brain when we have a highly developed Will Power, that we will need to overcome adversity and challenge. This new research actually made famous scientist jump out of his chair.

DID YOU KNOW that there is a part of the brain called “the Anterior mid cingulate cortex. This area is not just one of the seats of willpower but scientists think it holds the secret in “the will to live?”[vii]

When I first heard about this part of the brain, I knew it was important for overcoming adversity, and helping us to become more resilient.

Scientists discovered that this part in the brain increases in size when we do something we don’t want do, like exercising when we would rather not, or diet or resist eating something we know is bad for us, when we would rather eat the old way.

Dr. Huberman shared on this eye-opening episode with his guest, David Goggins that “when people do anything that they don’t want to do, it’s not about adding more work, it’s about adding more work that you don’t want to do, this brain area gets bigger.” This part of the brain is larger in athletes, larger in people who overcome challenge, and as long as people continue to “do difficult things” this area of the brain keeps its size.

To me, this shows that building resilience in ourselves and our teams is not just good for whatever challenge we are looking to overcome, but we are building stronger, more resilient brains: specifically, stronger anterior mid cingulate cortexes.

REVIEW AND CONCLUSION

To review and conclude this week’s episode #344 on “The Neuroscience Behind Building Resilience in Yourself and Your Teams” we covered:

• A review of EP 74 and 286 where we covered the Neuroscience of Resilience with Horacio Sanchez’s work reminding us that our protective or risk factors in our lifetime, will determine how resilient we will be in our life. While 25% of the population are naturally resilient, Horacio asserts that “if you have little risk, it takes less to be resilient. But—if you have a lot of risk, it takes a lot more protective factors to offset the scale.” Horacio has dedicated his life to helping our next generation become more resilient.
• Next we looked at Grant Bosnick’s book, Tailored Approaches to Self-Leadership (Chapter 14) where he gave us the analogy of the donkey who fell into the well, and demonstrated resiliency when he used the dirt shoveled on him, to climb out. This example taught us that we all will have dirt shoveled on our backs in our life, and “that we can either get buried in the dirt or shake it off and take a step up. Each adversity we face is a stepping stone, and we can get out of the deepest wells by shaking off the dirt and taking a step up.” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 160).
• Another analogy we learned was through the mother and daughter story, and that when adversity faces you, Bosnick asks us to reflect. “Are you the carrot that seems strong but with pain and adversity (wilted) and became soft, losing its strength? Are you the egg that starts with a soft heart, but hardens with the heat? Or are you like the coffee bean that actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that (brought) the pain?” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 161). I’m hoping that we all desire to experience change with the adversity we face, like the coffee bean.
• After learning about building resiliency in ourselves, we learned about building resiliency within our teams, and looked at Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. The absence of trust, fear of conflict, lack of commitment, avoidance of accountability, and inattention to results. Then we learned to turn this around, using the five functions of a high performing team: trust, absence of fear of conflict, commitment, accountability and attention to results.” (Chapter 14, Resilience, Bosnick, Page 170).
• Then we looked at how we develop resiliency, using our Will Power from EP 294 where I shared an activity to strengthen this faculty of our mind either through meditation, or with an activity of staring at a candle flame, and with time, effort and sheer will power, blocking out everything else around you, until you and the candle flame become one.
• Finally, we looked at the fascinating new neuroscience behind the part of our brain (the anterior mid cingulate cortex) that becomes bigger when we use our will power to do those things we don’t want to do. Scientists believe this ability to use our will power to do difficult things, which builds our resiliency, is what’s really behind the will to live.

I hope you’ve found this episode on building resilience in yourself and your teams as valuable as I have, and that when challenge comes our way in the future, that we continue to lean into it, using every ounce of our will power, and become a coffee bean, emerging stronger than the challenge we faced, and knowing that this process is building a part of our brain (our anterior mid cingulate cortex) to be bigger, helping us to continue to do difficult things in our future.

With that thought, I’ll close out this episode and see you next time, with two interviews coming, to help us to continue to build stronger versions of ourselves this year. I’ll see you next week.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

We were grateful to be featured as a Top 30 #neuroscience #podcast and Top 20 #sel podcast for 2025!

 

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REFERENCES:

 

[i] Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE #74 with Horacio Sanchez on “How to Apply Brain Science to Improve Instruction and School Climate” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/leading-brain-science-and-resiliency-expert-horatio-sanchez-on-how-to-apply-brain-science-to-improve-instruction-and-school-climate/

 

[ii]Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE #286 on “Building Resiliency, Grit and Mental Toughness”  https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/brain-fact-friday-on-building-resiliency-grit-and-mental-toughness/

 

[iii] Self-Assessment for Grant Bosnick’s book https://www.selfleadershipassessment.com/

 

[iv] Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE #340 “Navigating Workplace Conflicts: Insights from a Mediation Expert, John Ford”  https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/navigating-workplace-conflicts-insights-from-a-mediation-expert/

 

[v] The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni Published April 11, 2002 https://www.amazon.com/Five-Dysfunctions-Team-Leadership-Fable/dp/0787960756

 

[vi]Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning Podcast EPISODE #294 “Beyond Our 5 Senses: Using the 6 Faculties of our Mind” https://andreasamadi.podbean.com/e/beyond-our-5-senses-understanding-and-using-the-six-higher-faculties-of-our-mind/

 

[vii] How to Build Will Power Dr. Andrew Huberman with David Goggins https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84dYijIpWjQ