Thanksgiving (2023)

((NO SPOILERS)) - HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Stay home tonight. You don’t need a 50% off waffle maker. If your job is making you work on Thanksgiving then quit. Even if you work at a movie theater. You have our blessing. Thanksgiving is about being with family and eating too much and then falling asleep in front of the Lions game for an hour and then getting up and eating more. Be thankful for us because we’re giving you a special holiday drop that you probably won’t have time to see or hear until the following weekend. We’re thankful for this movie we’re discussing, the fresh-ass Eli Roth slasher gore-fest “Thanksgiving” in which a mysterious killer known as “John Carver” tears ass through Plymouth, Massachusetts one year after a horrid Black Friday incident shook the town to it’s core. Thanksgiving is Bob’s favorite holiday and make no bones about it, he was completely in support of the actions of John Carver. 100%. These people should have taken Thanksgiving much more seriously. We’re just thankful that John Carver is out there fighting back against the War on Thanksgiving. The villain here is Black Friday and people who put up their Christmas lights too early. You’ll fucking get yours. That’s a promise. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

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