The Certainty Trap: Are You as Right as You Think?

SHOW NOTES:

On this show…we are attempting to avoid the Certainty Trap by asking, "Are you as right as you think you are?" Have you ever felt so sure you were right about something, only to later discover there was more to the story—or a completely different side you hadn’t considered? That moment can be humbling, even a little uncomfortable, but it’s also where growth begins.

We’ve all been there—standing our ground, convinced that our perspective is the correct one. Whether it’s a debate about current events, a disagreement in a relationship, or simply our interpretation of a situation, we often hold tightly to our beliefs. In this episode, we’re diving into the human tendency to cling to certainty, even when we might not have all the facts. We’ll explore the importance of self-awareness, the value of considering opposing viewpoints, and how embracing a bit of uncertainty can lead to personal growth and deeper connections with others. So, let’s challenge our assumptions and open the door to new perspectives—who knows what we might discover?

Let’s start by calling out the very human thing we all do: we like to be right. I mean, who doesn’t? Being right feels good—it’s validating, it’s safe, and it gives us a sense of control. But the brain takes it a step further. Scientifically speaking, our brains are wired to protect our current beliefs. We’re not just thinking—we’re filtering, editing, and defending. This is thanks to something called confirmation bias, which is your brain’s way of saying, “Let’s only pay attention to the stuff that proves we already know what we’re talking about.”

Here’s a real-life example: you’ve decided your partner never listens to you. So, every time they forget something you said—ding ding ding—more proof. But when they do listen? You might not notice. Or maybe you write it off as a fluke. That’s confirmation bias in action. You’re scanning for evidence that supports what you already believe and quietly ignoring what doesn’t fit.

Then there’s overconfidence bias, which is exactly what it sounds like: thinking we know more than we do. Ever found yourself mid-debate, completely certain about a “fact” you read online… only to later realize you misread it or, oops, it was a meme? Yeah, same. Our brains often give us the feeling of being right before we’ve actually done the homework. And once we’re feeling confident, our openness to alternative views tends to shrink like jeans in the dryer.

Now, let’s turn the mirror inward. It’s time for a little self-reflection:

Recall a Recent Disagreement: Think about a recent situation where you were convinced you were right. What was the topic? Who were you discussing it with?

Identify Your Sources: What information did you base your opinion on? Was it firsthand experience, something you read, or perhaps information from someone you trust?

Consider the Other Perspective: What was the other person’s viewpoint? Can you understand why they might see things differently?

Assess Your Openness: During the discussion, were you genuinely open to hearing the other side, or were you more focused on proving your point?

Reflect on the Outcome: How did the conversation end? Did you learn something new, or did it reinforce your original belief?

By engaging in this exercise, you may uncover patterns in your thinking and identify areas where you can be more receptive to differing viewpoints.

Dr. David W. Johnson with “The Importance of Taking the Perspective of Others.” Found at Psychology Today

Certainty Is a Psychological Trap and It's Time to Escape also found at Psychology Today

Let’s go to the well….Annie Duke explains why being uncertain is a hidden strength 

CHALLENGE: Identify one belief or opinion you hold with absolute certainty and actively seek out information or perspectives that challenge it. Embrace the discomfort of uncertainty, and observe how this openness can lead to deeper understanding and personal growth. Remember, true wisdom often begins with the acknowledgment of what we don’t know. 

 

I Know YOU Can Do It!