Why are so many of our young Military personnel so messed up?
Many people think that Wounded Warrior’s are mainly comprised of those who have gone overseas to defend our Country. That is true to a great extent, but many of those who have not been deployed are also showing symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress.
Why? They haven’t been in combat, or have they? Divorce rate 60%
Most young service members have come from a broken HOME / and LIFE. Their hope, dreams and future was aborted when they were children and it took a toll on their lives.
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What are signs of PTSD. Hypertension, irritability, fear, hyperventilation, hypervisual, you express anger and lack of patience. Then you ISOLATE.
Much of their family history is off the radar and the individual doesn’t talk about their family problems.
The three most destructive substance’s frequently found in broken homes… 1. Alcohol, Drugs (prescr. & illegal) and Porn. They help to create…
2. Domestic abuse and Dysfunctional families go hand in hand. - they both involve POLICE intervention , which becomes embarrassing, frustrating.
3. Spousal and Child abuse
4.a lack of competent child care and nurturing
5. Little to No spiritual guidance in building morality and character growth in the child.
6. DIVORCE = where 1 will leave and 1 will have to work fulltime leaving the kids at home.
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The effects on the child are…
1. Loneliness, boredom, anger, disappointment and blame themselves.
2. A lack in social skill’s , self confidence, self worth and self esteem.
3. There also may a lack of positive role models. So they may follow anyone.
Let your hero’s all be dead, because if they are alive they will disappoint you.
4. The two most important people in your life are separating/ and soon they will both be dating other people and possibly remarrying a stranger.
5. If there are other siblings at home, you may have to become the PARENT and GUARDIAN for them.
6. The Grandparents will have to help finish raising the grandchildren.
* The reason grandparents and grandchildren are so close is that they both have a common enemy, the parent.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------The effects…
1. You begin to look to “outsiders” for guidance instead of family.
2. You isolate, mistrust relationships and avoid marriage.
3. You feel like everyone you trust and care about will end up hurting and leaving you. Don’t get too close to anyone.
4. It becomes easy to make “bad choices” in friends because self medicating seems like the right solution. IT’S NOT !
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The Military is a family…It is a close-knit world-wide community of like- minded people who willingly put their lives on hold in order to protect us at home. They risk their lives everyday to keep us free and they are connected by a common mind-set of values, exceptionalism and purpose. They are truly America’s best.
1.Since the conception of America, Young men and women have been joining our military to get away from home and start their own career. They have always come into our military family with past memories, wounds, trauma, brokenness, loneliness, disappointment and anger. They have always been running from something, but not from the amount of broken homes we are seeing today. Many are messed up when they get here.
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How do get ourselves fixed ?
1. We identify our enemy and admit we have a problem. We can’t outrun our problems. When we get to where we’re going, they will already be there.
2. We have to realize what “FEEDS” or FUELS our problems of depression, anger, irritability and hypertension. (Substance use and abuse) Where there is no wood, the fire goes out.
3. You must set you a goal and “FOCUS” on it. (SUNCHIN KATA)
4.You must make better decisions and fewer Regrets. You’ll have to live with them.
5. Choose your friends wisely. You’ll probably end up just like them.
6. Don’t date anyone you wouldn’t want to marry. You might fall in love.
7. Love your spouse and be faithful to them. Your children are depending on you.
8. Be the Best Spouse, Parent, Guardian and HERO of your family(including step-children) treat them like your own.
9. Be willing to STICK it out in your marriage and work things out (maybe professional help.) Your children deserve a good family life.
10. The Best Home Improvement you can do is take your family to Church.
Why ??
1. GOD lives there. It’s fun to worship HIM.
2. They usually have good food, family activities & everyone smells good.
2. There are good “role” models for both parents and children there.
3. Most are good positive people, good mentors and good Teachers to help us to grow into the Best and Happiest people we can be. We need all of the help we can get.
4. GOD is not a crutch for weak people, He is a stretcher for wounded and dying people.
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Well, The ball is now in your court---play it well !!
Thank you
Life after Trauma #26
Suicide prevention
September is Suicide Prevention month and it is a sad commentary that we have so many suicides among our Military personnel , Veterans and their families. There is a lot of discussion as to what the cause and effects suicide has on the individual and their families and I thought I‘d give you mine.
As a Marine combat veteran who has fought suicidal thoughts for more than forty years, I think I have some ideas on how to cut down on the loss of so many of our national hero’s.
1. One of the contributing factors associated with suicide is the consumption of “substance .” What is the related Substance I’m talking about? It is alcohol and drugs. Special significance must be placed on pharmaceutical drugs. Weather they come from the V.A. or purchased over the counter, mixing drugs and alcohol can be a deadly combination. Drugs are for a specific purpose and come with a prescribed usage. Abusing the directions or mixing them with other substance can have a damaging or deadly effect.
Substance “abuse” may or may not be a contributing factor in the persons life, but just the mere fact that alcohol is being consumed by the depressed person is one of the major culprits that causes the person to think irrationally. They become more depressed, lonely and disconnected from society. The potential for suicide is drastically increased when you mix alcohol and drugs. When you are consuming alcohol and drugs of any amount, you begin to fall “under the influence“ of what you are consuming. You will say and do things that you would not do under normal circumstances. There is also the risk of auto accidents, tickets and increased insurance premiums causing more problems to your career, marriage and self esteem.
This kind of “mixing” substance may push you over the edge as you become more depressed and detached from those around you.
Suicide is undoubtedly the most selfish thing you can do to those you love, and who love you the most. It slams the door shut in the face of everyone who cares about you and leaves them with a lifetime of wondering why you left without first reaching out to someone who could help you.
When Americas Foreign and Domestic enemies read about our military dropping out on the fight against terrorism, I’m sure they are pleased and smile because they will never have to worry about you again. You have actually contributed to their success by eliminating yourself from the battle.
P. 125 TNEW
If you are depressed or discouraged, please reach out for help. There are a lot of people waiting to hear from you. They want to help, but you must make the call. Many of us have wanted to drop out of the race at one time or another, but didn’t. We pushed on in spite of our pain because we knew there were a lot of young people coming behind us and they were looking for us to set a good example for them. They’re now looking at you.
I was taught as a Marine to attack the attacker. When the enemy shows up and attacks you, hit him back twice as hard. It’s simply what good warrior’s do. Semper Fidelis means Always Faithful. (Always) That’s not a cute little saying, it’s a way of life. Stay faithful to God, Country and Corps.
2. Leave a legacy for someone to follow.
3. Nothing is too bad that it can’t be fixed.
To call for help…
Jacksonville Vet Center 910-577-1100
Durham V.A. 888-870-6890
Boots on the Ground 919-907-0577
