Trauma comes in many forms and we need to better understand it.

Trauma comes in many forms and affects everyone differently. This guest knows all too well what trauma can do. Michelle Vande Hey now a coach and educator, helping others be trauma-informed and making sure to take care of themselves before burning out from over giving. Michelle is a strong and brilliant woman, join the conversation!

 

Contact Michelle

LinkedIn - lightoflovecoaching.com 

E-mail – michelle@lightoflovecoaching.com

Website - lightoflovecoaching.com 

 

 

Leighann Lovely  00:20

HR professionals, business owners and operations at all levels are struggling to figure out what needs to change. Our system has been shocked practices have been questioned, and conversations are finally happening. We all know there has been a huge shift in what people want. inclusion and diversity are common phrases. But often misunderstood generations are coming together more than ever on what's important. Mental health has been brought to the forefront of everyone's mind. Let's humanize these conversations. Let's talk about what's important for employees to be successful in life and at their job and how companies can create an environment to allow them to do both because successful people will make up a successful workforce. I'm Leighann Lovely. Let's get this conversation started.  Today I have a very authentic and amazing guest joining me. Michelle Vande Hey. After the death of her son James, Michelle battled depression, anxiety and PTSD. Her relationship with her loving daughter was torn apart. She was binge eating to numb the pain and felt completely lost with where she was and where she was going. Michelle found herself again, with a holistic approach to healing alongside professional help and a meaningful connection built in a community with folks that were able to help her know her worth. This led her on an unexpected path where she now helps founders and nonprofits to recover from or prevent burnout from over giving and compassion fatigue, so they can create long lasting sustainable impact with their organization without losing themselves. Michelle founded light of love coaching in February of 2020, and is a trauma informed certified holistic life coach. Her mission is to create a welcoming community of folks that rediscover who they are by knowing their self worth and embracing their spiritual gifts so they can be empowered to influence change for themselves and others around the world. Together, they are co creating a more inclusive, peaceful and, and prosperous world. Michelle has been featured in brava magazine and is regularly a guest on podcast. When she is not coaching, speaking or facilitating. You can find Michelle making dance videos in her kitchen biking to Pilates getting lost in the world or running with the sunrise. welcome Michelle, I am so excited to have you join me today.

 

Michelle Vande Hey  03:03

Well, thank you. Thank you for having me.

 

Leighann Lovely  03:05

Why don't you start off by telling us a little bit about yourself and about your business?

 

Michelle Vande Hey  03:10

Sure. So I live in the sock city Wisconsin area with my husband and daughter. And we've lived here for eight years now we live, lived in Madison for a while and then moved here for my husband's work. And I've worked from home most of my life. So I'm just mobile. And yeah, I'm a certified holistic life coach. And I do trauma informed work, and really passionate about helping leaders and founders of nonprofits and mission driven organizations to create sustainable impact and sustainable success without burning out a lot with focus on like over giving compassion, fatigue and vicarious trauma. And I utilize trauma sensitive yoga as well. To help with those things.

 

Leighann Lovely  04:05

That's That's amazing. And I think that a lot of people nowadays suffer from over giving. I think that's especially in the nonprofit, I mean space. And that's, that's, that's absolutely amazing. And your your business, when you and I talked really came out of, you know, trauma in your life that led you down the path to coaching. Are you open to telling us a little bit about your story?

 

Michelle Vande Hey  04:39

Yeah, sure. Yeah. So coaching was something I had never thought I would do. Even though I would always have people kind of tell me like, oh, you should be a coach or you should be a speaker and that kind of stuff. And I just kind of, you know, was like okay, yeah, you probably said that to everyone sort of thing. And then in unfortunately in October Were of 2018, we had a son that died when he was about 12 weeks old in his sleep. And after that happened, obviously, like just all sorts of stuff. And by October of 2019, so about a year later, I had, I was already doing like daycare part time, and then working another business as well. And my living daughter, and then my daycare kids were all getting to the age of being in school. And I knew I didn't want to do daycare for the rest of my life. And so I was talking to a friend of mine. And I was just like, I don't know what to do. Because I have time. I don't want to just like, sit at home and be sad all the time. And, but I don't know what to do. And she's like, well, you should be a health coach, because you're already doing it. You're just not charging people for it. And I kind of thought around that. I was like, you know, I don't want to be a coach. I feel like this world has too many coaches already. Why? Like, why do we need another coach? And she's like, Yeah, but people really need coaches, and you're really good at it. So you should like what else are you going to do? And so because I trusted her judgment, everything I was like, alright, that's what I'm going to do. So I started health coaching. And basically, it was like, a couple of weeks later, because I've always been an entrepreneur, an entrepreneur. So for me, I was like, Okay, I'm gonna do it, let's get it going. So within a couple of weeks, I started, you know, I had all my promotional material. And then I like reached out to people that I thought would want to have a coach. And I started coaching, right after that. And then in that time, too, I really realized how my clients needed more work with their mindset, as opposed to what to eat and what not to eat. And so I wasn't actively looking, but I came across this holistic life coaching certification. And then I was like, This is what I think I need to do. And so when I decided to do that, it was during that time, when we were doing some of the coaching stuff that I do now, that it really kind of came over me that I shouldn't really be helping grieving moms. And so I quickly shifted from helping everyone to help Ingredion moms. And that was really, you know, it was also helped my healing journey, like I was doing therapy and all that kind of stuff. And for me to health and nutrition, and fitness was a big part of my healing journey, too. And then, last year, and 2021, I started doing more in person speaking and like facilitating things for organizations like meditations, group discussions, and things like that. And I started working more with these founders and leaders of these nonprofit organizations mostly. And I realized, like, that's who I really want to help, because a lot of them have been through something similar to me, or they've been through something in their life. And they started this organization, because of what they had been through. Sort of like me, even though my initially what I was doing wasn't about, like about the pain that I went through, or the trauma that I went through. But a lot of them, it was. And so and then also last year, during that, about that same time, I did this, like 20 hour trauma sensitive yoga training, and that really opened my eyes up to just more of like trauma work, and how so many people are affected by trauma, and really honoring that trauma isn't just isn't only PTSD, it isn't only people who served in the armed forces, it's, there's, you can have trauma from so many different things. And that it can affect your daily life without you even realizing it. Right. And so that's when I started kind of getting a little bit more into focusing on being more trauma informed, and using utilizing that kind of stuff with my clients.

 

Leighann Lovely  09:17

Right. And I love what you just said because people assume or associate trauma with one major event. But there are little traumas throughout our lives that often get on noticed and on treated. Yes or not even I don't know that treated is the right word. They get just brushed away as if it's it's nothing and we never address it talks about it or even acknowledge that something as small as and you and I think talked about this. You don't realize that changing jobs is considered one of the major traumas in an adult, individuals life changing jobs. And if we, if that is one of the major traumas, that means that every single adult is experiencing traumas on a regular basis, because I think that if we reframe what trauma means, we would start to realize how often we are experiencing trauma. And I guess, you know, when I look at what is actual trauma, it's, you know, having an event in our life, that sort of significantly impacts the way that we're either doing things the way that we're in taking information. So those small little traumas, you know, you go from having, let's say, you're at a job for seven years, all of a sudden, everything in your life is tipped upside down, and you have to find a new routine. Yeah. And that that is traumatic, that's a traumatic event. Now, I'm talking about a trauma that is not excuse me, life altering in the sense of, you know, so I'm not I'm not trying to be insensitive, obviously, your your trauma is completely and totally different. That is much more of an emotional, much more of a, you know, it stimulates different portions of, you know, I'm assuming of the brain than a trauma of changing a job. That's, you know, it's a wheeling trauma that you enter into. But there are on a regular basis, I mean, driving down the street, you driving down the road, and somebody almost runs you off the road, I will tell you that I'm I'm shaking, I'll shake for the next, you know, five minutes of going Oh, my God, oh, my God, that almost happened. I mean, you could have traumas of things that almost happened to you.

 

Michelle Vande Hey  11:55

That's definitely and, and talking about different types of trauma, too. I think that's a great thing to bring up. Because it doesn't mean that we're like, watering down or making it seem like Oh, trauma isn't a big deal. Because everyone experiences trauma, it's actually the exact opposite. Is that like, there are there it's like different different types of traumas, have you experienced things in a different way and need different types of healing or different ways, but like making sure that we're not just pushing them to the side or suppressing them to, and sometimes to some of those, like, quote, unquote, smaller traumas can be things, especially from like childhood, like things that happen over and over again, that are like small little things, that that affects, like what you are telling yourself and how you feel about yourself about your self worth, and all of those types of things as well.

 

Leighann Lovely  12:54

Yeah, oh, yeah, I completely understand that if somebody is, grows up, repeatedly being told, or repeatedly being hit for not getting an A, or not even something as simple as that they're going to grow up thinking that if they're not perfect, all of the time, that they're not worth anything. Yeah, I mean, I and that's just an example, I'm assuming off, you know, off the top of my head, but that all of you know, all of the good that happens to us. And all of the bad that happens to us is going to make up how we process information as adults, and how we see ourselves when we look in the mirror, and how we I'm assuming are able to self soothe ourselves. Mm hmm. So this is amazing work. And I'm going to guess that the majority of the people that you start working with, don't realize some of the, I guess self sabotaging habits are as bad as they actually are, because of things that they have grown up, or things that they have learned through those traumas.

 

Michelle Vande Hey  14:19

Yeah, definitely. And to talking about traumas is just like collective traumas, too. So the most obvious one that happened recently was COVID. And the pandemic is like, that's like a collective trauma. So even like, mass shootings and things like that are like natural disasters. Those are traumas that people experience on a collective level too. And those are things that oftentimes again, we get so used to just being like, oh, you know, we just kind of shove it to the side and don't realize that it can really affect you on your in your daily life and your decision making. You're even Like your confidence about the decisions that you're making, it can really affect all aspects of your life.

 

Leighann Lovely  15:07

And so do you think that when when a large group of people experience a trauma, for instance, you know, COVID, we just saw went through this right. And there were some people who took it extremely, extremely difficulty. And, you know, again, I had, I have a very strong support system, my family, we all managed to, you know, find a way to continue to connect and talk. But there are many individuals out there that that are lacking in that, that that don't necessarily. So do you think that because there are some people who have that strong community that they will sometimes push aside and make light of some of those, you know, traumas that make it even more difficult? For others?

 

Michelle Vande Hey  16:02

I think it can be twofold. I mean, the community aspect can be something that can be really beneficial, because like the, the not feeling so alone, and something can really be helpful. But if but if it's affecting you, differently than maybe the people that you're around most often, that can be really challenging, because you could start thinking like, well, what's wrong with me for feeling this way about this, when my closest friends and family don't feel the same way. And oftentimes, you might have friends or family that are feeling the same way. But it's like, we don't communicate those things often, either. So how do we can be helpful, but it can also in the aspect that you're talking about? It can be challenging, too.

 

Leighann Lovely  16:49

So how do we overcome that? I mean, I know that you, you, you talked about, you know, kind of teaching or educating and helping people and you know, more to the HR? How do you make people more trauma informed to, you know, try not to isolate others, and make sure that just because you may not be having an extremely hard time with it, that you're not making somebody else feel even worse by saying, well, it's not a big deal.

 

Michelle Vande Hey  17:25

Yeah, I mean, I think compassion is a big part of it. And it starts with self compassion first and having compassion for yourself. And that's a big part of trauma sensitive yoga, I feel like to is, when, especially when you're doing it in a group, it's something that can be done one on one, or in a group, when you're doing it in a group, you're learning how to have yourself and your body feel safe. And, and only you can decide if the space is safe. So like, I can say, like, Oh, this is a safe space, but like, I don't really get to decide if it's a safe space for anyone else, they get to decide that. But then being able to manage their own feeling of that sense of safety in themselves, while also being a part of a group as well. And honoring the people in the group that maybe they don't really feel safe, and honoring what they're feeling and what they're going through while also taking care of themselves. And I think if we can do that collectively, just as people, it just creates more space for for openness and for understanding. And knowing that, like, everyone's needs are a little bit different. And just because someone needs something a little bit more of something, doesn't mean that, that it's not fair that maybe you don't get it. And I know HR is probably challenging with that, where it's like, oh, you have like, this is what everybody gets, so to speak, you know, like with paid time off or like, even I know, like, mental health days have become a little bit more of a common thing. But it's like, some people are going to need more mental health days than others. And how can we how can we figure that out in a way that people understand that it's like, it's not like, being fair doesn't mean like, everyone gets the same thing. It's actually about like, honoring what each person needs. And, and knowing that everyone needs something a little bit different. Is can be really valuable. And that can be challenging in HR or organizations where you're trying to be quote unquote fair. And giving everyone the same things but not everyone needs the same things

 

Leighann Lovely  19:57

right. So and then we get into of Where's the how? How do we? How do we make sure that nobody feels like they're not getting all of the benefits, but also staying confidential, if somebody is taking a mental health day, but at the same time, we've started to realize, and we've started to learn that there is no cookie cutter solution to working with everybody, right? If I come in and disclose that I have PTSD. And trust me, I've I have experienced, being a recruiter I have experienced where there are individuals who, you know, have different disorders of some kind, whether that be PTSD, whether that be anxiety disorder, whether that be and they'll, you know, they've walked into facilities, and they've gone, I can't work here and you're like, Okay, well, why what's going on? They really like you. And it's either an environment issue, or it's a noise issue, or it's a and so, you know, we can't treat everybody, you know, like the cookie cutter, but how do we make how do we make HR how do we make the ER leaders more informed about how to address and how to handle that in a way that's not going to make that employee feel embarrassed or feel dissed, even discriminated against if they go up and say I can't, I can't do. Here's an example. This is a bad example. But um, I have two phobias. One, I can't touch chalk, which drives my daughter crazy, because she's always like, come and draw chalk with me, I have to put on gloves. I just can't touch it. My other is, I have a hard time with hair. So I, I remember, I was working with a long time ago. And they're like, everybody participates in vacuuming in our office. And I was like, Okay, I don't I don't mind me vacuuming. That's not a big deal. I can vacuum I vacuum my house. But this vacuum cleaner, this vacuum cleaner needed to be emptied. And what happens when you empty a vacuum cleaner is that there's hair everywhere. And like, in trying to unclog it, I like I like freaked out. I'm like, I can't I can't touch this. Like I can't, I'm gonna have like a panic attack. I can't touch this. And they're like, Okay, it's your turn to vacuum like you. Why can't you talk? I'm like, I can't do it. Like, I mean, they're just like, well, you're you got and what do you say like, oh, I have a phobia with touching, especially other people's here that I don't know, that's all wrapped up. And now that one, I mean, people kind of laughed off and funny. And I was kind of laughing but like, there are situations where people are like, like, I can't, I can't do that. Like, like, you can't, I can't just you just can't like, people there people are people and yes, was that one kind of funny? Yes. And I make fun of myself for it. I make fun of myself, because I can't touch chalk. Those are my two weird phobias. But there are real ones out there that exist. How do we as leaders, as professionals address that without embarrassing or? Yeah,

 

Michelle Vande Hey  23:33

yeah. And so, I mean, yes, your examples may be deemed funnier, but I mean, there's still real like, to you. It's real. Right. And, and, and especially with, like, phobias and things like that, a lot of them kind of feel like people who don't have that. It's like, really, are you serious, you know, but it's like, it's real to you. And that, I mean, that's exactly what trauma is, right? It's like, I don't have to know or understand what your trauma is, to be able to help you through that. And so obviously, like education is super important, but creating a culture in your organization, that people are able to come to you to, and be able to talk through like, Okay, this is a challenge for me. And I want to make sure I'm doing my part or whatever, but this I just can't do for whatever reason, and and having it be part of, of the culture, so I don't you know, I don't know if it's like having meetings and, and really talking about that kind of stuff, but something I use, because I do a lot of group coaching. Because I think being in a group, it really helps us in the real world, right? Because you're managing yourself while being in a group with other people that have their own needs. And so something I do is I have an anonymous feedback form that people Will can fill out anytime throughout their time coaching with me if they don't feel comfortable coming into me. So it's like something like that I have I ever had anyone use it not yet. Well, I maybe not. But it's, it's things like that, that you're telling people, it's okay for whatever you need. And, and so like it, it's letting people know that I'm creating, I'm creating a space where hopefully, if you don't feel safe coming into me that you still have a way to communicate what your needs are to us. And I don't know if that's necessarily an anonymous feedback form might not be possible in HR. But it could be, especially if it's not something where the person needs direct help with it. But if it's something where it's like, oh, these things have been coming up, I don't feel comfortable going to HR, is there a way to have an anonymous feedback form so I can share these things. So then they can get brought up and talked about in a group or things like that, I think is really important. And just like, Yeah, I mean, the self compassion and creating spaces for people to voice what they want to say, without having people say like, Well, no, we can't do that, or you're being too sensitive, or you're being ridiculous, that you can't clean out a vacuum cleaner or whatever, you know, like, like having spaces where people are just saying, okay, and listening, and not having to come back with something.

 

Leighann Lovely  26:38

Right. And I think, you know, it's interesting, because, you know, a lot of people and a lot of people thought, well, this world has become too sensitive, but the reality of it is that we're finally, we're finally creating, or attempting to create the space for people to talk about the things that for years and years forever, have been told, don't talk about that. Don't talk about that in public. You know, I finally, instead of telling my daughter, it's, it's not okay to cry or stop crying about that you don't need to, it's okay to cry, it's okay to be angry, it's okay to be mad at Mommy. But it's not okay to hit, it's not okay to do this. It's, so it's the direct result of, you know, the emotion, if you're acting out from it, it's okay to have experienced a trauma. But in order to get past it in order to, to, you know, get healthy and BB, we have to work through it. And I'm probably not saying the right words, on how you work with people. But we're finally creating space for these individuals and not saying suppress these emotions, because I think that it's been known for a very long time that suppressing emotion, the way that our grandparents and their parents have done that is not healthy. We have a rise of alcoholics, and drug addicts, and people with major mental health issues and people with all, you know, just a slew of major PTSD. I mean, and I could go on forever, a slew of all of these underlined issues. And the majority of them relate back to some form of trauma, that that happened in there, obviously, PTSD, but some form of trauma that happened along their life that they never dealt with that they just shoved out, because I'm quite certain that almost every therapy session starts with, let's talk about your childhood. I mean, it will not every, but every time you go and see a new therapist, and trust me I know because right now I'm looking for a new psychiatrist for my bipolar mine retired, and then my insurance anyways. And every time I see when they're like, let's talk about your child. And I'm like, I don't want to go through this 3 billion times. But it always starts there. Yeah, always because they're like, Well, is there some underlying cause of something that you're still struggling with from somewhere in there? And then it's your teen years? And then it's your, you know, when everybody's like, do you think that there's something you know, that you're still haven't dealt with? And it's like, maybe there is maybe there and again, let's stop talking about me. But the point being is that whenever you see a professional, they're always wondering, is there some traumatic event that you still haven't dealt with? Because we finally figured out that, for the most part, it usually comes from some type of traumatic event.

 

Michelle Vande Hey  30:01

Yeah. And oftentimes to what what my, I guess personal opinion, I guess it would be is that like, there's like layers of healing. And I talked about forgiveness a lot too. And so I feel like there's layers of forgiveness too. And so, sometimes there are things that you've healed, or you've worked through. And then, because I mean, I truly believe to like you and I like, it's like, we're always trying to continue to be better or grow. And not saying that we're not good enough now, but we're just trying to grow and as you're growing, you're going to come up against things that you've never come up against before. And those new things can bring up old, old stuff that maybe you did some healing around, but maybe it just requires a little bit more healing around that. And there's nothing wrong with needing a little bit more healing around that. I feel like there's always layers of things that can be healed. And it doesn't mean that we're all like, these broken people, it's just that there are wounds that can be healed, that are that may need to be healed. And like your, when you were talking to you about like, you know, this idea that we're becoming too sensitive. And it's because you know, our grandparents and parents, and it's like they were told not to share emotion and all that kind of stuff is like, we're also healing generational trauma as well, right. And there's a lot of science that backs that up of that, like we take on what our parents have gone through and our grandparents have gone through if they haven't done any healing themselves. And so I think that's talking about the rise of mental health issues, and alcoholism and all those types of things is we we are this like generation of starting to actually heal some of this generational trauma that we don't even realize that is there. But it's, it's in our DNA, so to speak, and it's in our bodies, and we have the ability to start some doing some of that healing. And it's really important. And so just, that's where like that self compassion comes in as knowing that it's okay for me to have to maybe heal part of this part that I thought I healed already. And, and that's again, where a lot of times with my clients, it's like, a lot of times they have seen therapists or are still seeing a therapist, but they're, they're needing a little bit more. Because it's because what they're doing now is different than what they were doing before. So it brings up all these things in a new way.

 

Leighann Lovely  32:32

Absolutely. And I am I'm a huge believer in, you know, hey, psychiatrist, if you need medication, talk therapy, if you're really dealing with some demons, a coach, if you're just not, you know, a life coach or a special specific coach, too. Because I don't believe that one hour a week or two hours a week is enough. Because they are they're trained to listen to you not to assist you in making changes in your life where coaches can actually help you make changes and put you on a path, not necessarily give you advice unless you're specifically seeing somebody to give you advice. But coaches can actually help you see the path and then help you and guide you to where that path is. Therapists are more of the common talk and will listen and get it out. And there is a defining difference. And trust me I have been through therapy. I mean, I've been through it all. So, and I loved I loved my psychiatrist, unfortunately, he retired a couple years ago, or a year or two year two, I don't know. And I was devastated. I cried. He cried. I got another one. My insurance changed. I had a amazing, amazing therapist that I saw for many, many years for anger management for talk therapy for he was he was a godsend. But there was just a certain point in which things that he could not help me do. And that was where I needed something else in my life. So I'm all for that. But there's something else that you said in there. You made a comment about forgiveness and self love and the greatest gift that anybody can give themselves is forgiveness, forgiveness of themselves, and forgiveness of other people. I have seen so many people out there that hold on to trauma and hold on to things because they remain angry. Mm hmm. And, and and trust me we all have traumas in our lives. We all have we We all have reasons to be horribly mad at somebody horribly. But the greatest gift that I ever gave myself was saying, You know what I'm done with being angry. And, and you'd mentioned that and I just wanted to throw that out there to the masses, that is the greatest gift you can possibly give yourself is reconciling the anger within you, because you're not that person doesn't give a shit. If you're angry at them. You're only on yourself.

 

Michelle Vande Hey  35:30

And they may not even know. Right? It's like, a lot of times with people that you have this like anger and resentment for they don't even realize it. And so you holding on to that is only hurting you.

 

Leighann Lovely  35:43

Yep. Yeah. Well. So let's, we've gone off on a tangent, I want to bring this back to I want to bring this back to like more of the work environment. How do you and I know that you work more with individuals, but you do some speaking engagements? And you do? So tell me a little bit about you know, that? And do you work with, you know, organizations to come in and, you know, do any, you know, talks with, with companies or anything like that to try to, you know, assist with companies that may be or talks with them?

 

Michelle Vande Hey  36:23

Yeah, I can definitely do things like mini workshops, or speaking engagements to talk about, and like, the first piece, and anything that I talked about often is just awareness. And a lot of times, leaders don't even realize that, oh, yeah, I should, we should be more trauma informed. And so it's like, just having that awareness, and the awareness for the whole organization or the whole company to be like, Okay, we're, we want to take this step, to be more trauma informed. So people feel like this is a company that they can feel safer to come to win, they have things going on, and that we're here to support them as well. And that starts with like awareness of not only the leaders within everyone in the organization, and how to kind of manage that, then when you're learning a new way to do things to it. I mean, and that goes back to, again, what you were talking about, with when we were talking about, like the generational trauma stuff, it's like we're, we're unlearning parts of the organization, what what used to be, and now we're relearning a new way to do things. And it's okay to unlearn. And that's a big thing, too, is like knowing that just because their company did it differently before doesn't mean that the company was bad before. It's just now they're learning new ways to do things. And it's okay to change, and adapt and shift. And we really should. And that's the same thing with individuals, like, I don't need to be just because there's certain things that it's like, oh, my parents did this. And that's why I'm this way. That doesn't mean that I can just blame them for the rest of my life and that it's their fault, right? Like, it's like, no, like, let's be honest, and be like, Okay, I just need to unlearn it, right. And so like, as an organization, it's like, what do we want to start unlearning? So we can relearn a new way to do it. And being open to doing that, right.

 

Leighann Lovely  38:31

Yeah. And unfortunately, there are a lot of organizations that are still. And I say this because they lead, they still are leading with the hard fist, which is only in turn just almost traumatizing their employees. Yeah. I mean, when you go to work, and you go home every day angry and pissed off? That is not. I mean, that's not the environment to be in when you're scaring your employees into compliance. Right. That's not, you know, so there is a lot to still be learned by many organizations out there on how to properly manage. And I think that that part of that is being trauma informed in order to understand the sensitivity the empathetic side of, of managing.

 

Michelle Vande Hey  39:27

Yeah, yeah. Because to like the did you say like the iron fist? Yeah. Yeah. That it's like, you can get compliance with that. But do you want to with that, oftentimes, you're probably going to end up with more turnover, because if it's affecting people, then it's like, they're not going to want to stay there. And so then you're spending a lot more money on training and hiring and all that kind of stuff. It's much more cost effective to keep your employees than to have to find new ones, especially nowadays, too. It's Like, it's so much better be able to keep people. And so instead of focusing on only the short term, it's like, you can get results, it may take a little bit more initially with not having an iron fist, but the long term benefits are way outweigh the short term benefits. Right?

 

Leighann Lovely  40:19

Yeah, absolutely. I completely agree. Well, we are coming to time. So I want to ask you the question of the season, what would you change about your job? Or the practice that people have in your role? If you could?

 

Michelle Vande Hey  40:35

Oh, what would I change? I think I would, I would change that I wouldn't have to do everything myself. I would hire someone sooner. Um, I mean, I think like, knowing that, like, my like, zone of genius, so to speak, is in coaching and in speaking and facilitating, and if I could change something, it would be that I don't have to worry about writing all my emails. And, and I do have someone that helps me a little bit. But like, if I didn't have to, like, do all of the all of the business stuff, the administrative stuff, that would be so nice.

 

Leighann Lovely  41:20

And what I find wildly hilarious is that at the beginning of this conversation you started off with, I didn't want to become a coach. And now you're saying, my zone of genius in the coaching and which is I mean, absolutely amazing. You fought it in the beginning. And now you've submitted to that your zone of genius, isn't that and that's absolutely awesome. You know, how full circle this conversation has come? Yeah, that's perfect. Yes. So if somebody wanted to reach out to you, how would they go about doing that?

 

Michelle Vande Hey  41:54

Yeah, I mean, they can find me on social media, Michelle Vande Hey. On LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, otherwise, if someone prefers email, Michelle at light of love coaching.com. And yeah, just send me a message. I'm always open to a conversation a question. I love meeting new people and having conversations like this, because that's, that's how you create changes is conversations and opening minds and opening hearts.

 

Leighann Lovely  42:24

Excellent. Well, thank you so much for joining me. This has been an awesome conversation. Yeah, thanks, Leon. Thank you again for listening to Let's Talk HR. I appreciate your time and support without you the audience this would not be possible. So don't forget that if you enjoyed this episode, to follow us, like us or share us. Have a wonderful day.

 

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SUMMARY KEYWORDS

trauma, people, talk, coach, life, michelle, creating, ptsd, healing, hr, helping, organization, feel, generational trauma, realize, change, individuals, conversation, unlearn, experienced