139. Too Emotional After the Affair? Or Just Too Afraid to Feel?

2025-05-21

Have you ever been told you're too emotional, or secretly believed it yourself? If conflict overwhelms you, if you shut down or spiral in arguments, if you find yourself apologising just for feeling… this episode is for you. Luke explores how what looks like emotional reactivity is often a learned survival strategy, rooted in fear, not dysfunction. From childhood patterns to nervous system responses, you'll gain insight into why certain emotions feel unbearable and how to build the capacity to stay with them without losing yourself. This episode is not about s...

Have you ever been told you're too emotional, or secretly believed it yourself?

If conflict overwhelms you, if you shut down or spiral in arguments, if you find yourself apologising just for feeling… this episode is for you.

Luke explores how what looks like emotional reactivity is often a learned survival strategy, rooted in fear, not dysfunction. From childhood patterns to nervous system responses, you'll gain insight into why certain emotions feel unbearable and how to build the capacity to stay with them without losing yourself.

This episode is not about shrinking your feelings.

It’s about expanding your ability to hold them.

🔑 Key Takeaways

Emotional overwhelm in conflict is often rooted in early survival responses
You're not “too much”, you were just never taught how to feel safely
Conflict becomes intolerable when we fear what our emotions mean, not just what they are
Nervous system regulation isn’t about staying calm, it’s about staying connected
Real emotional power is built by staying with your feelings, not controlling the outcome

💬 Reflection Prompt:

What part of you is afraid to feel? And what would it look like to support that part, instead of suppress it?

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