The Artist Who Looked Away

For eleven years, six months and twenty days, I have counted time differently.

In this episode I reflect on addiction, ambition, shame and the strange contradictions of building an artistic life. From AA meetings in Denmark to an artist residency in Berlin, from quietly observing a famous writer in my favourite café to confronting my own fear of being seen, this is an essay about longing—for recognition, belonging, and the courage to show up as oneself.

Along the way, I explore how perfectionism, social anxiety and the fantasy of becoming "someone" can keep us hidden, even while we desperately want to be found.

Part memoir, part meditation on art and recovery, this episode asks whether success begins not with trying harder—but with trying softer.

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