10. ADD - Christian Disciple and Forgiveness

Christian Disciple and Forgiveness

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G!day! The Apostle James wrote: 'When all kinds of trials and tribulations crowd into your lives my brethren, do not resent them as intruders but welcome them as friends. Realise that they come to test your faith and produce in you the quality of endurance. But let the process go on until your endurance is fully developed and you will find you have become men of mature character, with the right sort of independence. ' James 1:2-4

It is often said by psychiatrists that 90% of people with emotional related psychiatric problems would be cured, if only they knew forgiveness. Forgiveness of course is a major part of Christianity, both in the way that God forgives us when we come to Him in penitence and repentance, but also in the way Christian disciples forgive others and themselves! Does that surprise you that people may need to forgive themselves? How does that work?

The two major causes of emotional problems, involve forgiveness.

• Failure to receive forgiveness. Many people try to pay for their sin or to atone somehow for their sin or as AW Tozer out it: "The perpetual penance of regret." Some people even try to punish themselves for they're past sins.

• Failure to give forgiveness. There are always people who hurt us by what they say and do. If forgiveness is not offered, a root of bitterness resentment and anger may spring up in our lives. There are 'significant others' - parents who hurt us, siblings who fail us or tease us, and friends who betray who reject us.

Now you may well be asking yourself, why does God allow these irritations and offences to take place?

We need to understand that God's ultimate purpose for allowing irritations and offences to occur in our lives is to give us an opportunity to become more like Jesus Christ His Son (Romans 8;28:29). There are some irritations we can control and we are responsible to see us take sensible steps to do so. There is no point in complaining we are overweight if we are not prepared to diet.

There are many sources of irritations and offences we can't control.

• People. Personality traits, inconsistencies, rejection etc.
• Environment. Inconveniences, natural elements, pressures.
• Ourselves. Frustrations with our deficiencies, limited abilities, failures, illnesses etc.

God uses these circumstances, experiences and irritations to shape us and mould us like a gem cutter, cutting and polishing a stone to make it valuable. However, whether God requires 'sandpaper' or a 'sledgehammer' sometimes depends on our willingness to be involved in the process. God is concerned not just about what is happening to us, but also what we are learning and how we are responding in His workshop of life.

How do we respond to irritations and offences?

a. Wrong Responses (Human way)

• Defend yourself.
• Accuse somebody else and pass the blame.
• Hold anger in instead of dealing with the problem.

b. Right Responses (God's way)

• Be honest with yourself - Am I in the wrong?
• Be willing to admit when you are wrong - Ask forgiveness.
• Be willing to forgive.

Asking for forgiveness can be one of the hardest things we need to do. This is particularly so when we have been betrayed by a friend or someone who has been unfaithful. We need to stop and consider Christ and the enormity of His forgiveness.

Failing to co-operate with God's purposes, has two frequent results

• Insensitivity: Ignore, shut off, withdraw and avoid.
• Oversensitivity: Resentment, bitterness, hatred, anger and revenge.

Remember!! Forgiveness deals with our emotional response/s toward an offender. Pardon deals with the consequences of the offence; we may not be in a position to offer pardon. Forgiveness enables us to have the same openness toward the person after they offend us, as before. Lastly, when we forgive the offender, the hurt and the wound will start to diminish. This is helped when we realise Christ understands and can use these experiences for our eternal advantage.

For more to think about please do read for yourself James 2v1-4… Give yourself the following tests, and see how you respond or react to them. Why not share your answers with your spouse or a close friend, so you can pray over any issues together.

Tests to see if there is someone I need to forgive

• Resentment test - Is there anyone you resent?
• Responsibility test - Do you find yourself thinking, "If only they (parents, friends, colleagues, God) had done this, things would have been different!" and therefore blaming others?
• Reminder/reaction test - Do you find yourself reacting against a person because they remind you of someone else?

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