Rules of Engagement: Toxic Relationships

Saul . . . a toxic person - 1 Samuel 16:21, 18:5-22, 19:10

Peter . . . a very good person with some toxic ways - Matthew 16:21-22

Saying no to relational toxicity - Matthew 16:23, Hebrews 4:12

Examples of toxicity in relationships

• Obligation - guilt based - You outwardly conform to excessive, imposed expectations or control but are unduly stressed or inwardly resent it
• Rejection - You generally feel put down, criticized, rejected in the relationship
• Spiritually or emotionally degrading - you're generally discouraged by your interactions. drown into a negative frame of mind, tempted outward sin, etc.  
• Bewildering - you receive mixed messages (like from Saul) that leave you feeling emotionally confused, hut, betrayed
• Chaos - you are drawn into 'solving' the other person's often manufactured (unnecessary) crises due to their bad decisions, irresponsibility, addictions, etc.

Changing the toxic dance - new responses - Isaiah 43:18-19

Speak up - Ephesians 4:15, 4:25, Luke 6:26, 2 Timothy 1:7

Take quiet action - 1 Corinthians 4:20

If absolutely necessary . . . withdraw - Romans 16:17, Matthew 18:15-17, Romans 12:18