Coping with Guilt in Grief

There are so many different feelings, emotions, and conditions that we cope with while going thru the grieving process. Anger, Fear, sadness, regret, depression, and anxiety are at the forefront of these conditions. But one condition that I feel can be debilitating to ones grief process, is Guilt. Guilt is a condition that causes us to post blame on ourselves for the passing of our loved one. We say things like “Maybe I could have done something different, maybe I could have done more, maybe if I would have been around more often this wouldn’t have happened.” These phrases and many more like it can run thru the bereaved minds many times in the course of a day, while at the same time it may feel like there’s a judge sitting on our shoulders smacking his gave on our skull l declaring guilty guilty guilty.  And though we’d love to throw that judge off our shoulders, it seems that his hold on us can be much stronger than we can manage. So the question is—is there a way to throw this guilt off of our shoulders? The truth is we’re all different, our circumstances are also all different, but my friend if you’re feeling the guilt over the passing of your loved one, let me encourage you to re focus. Sometimes in grief, we look for a reason as to why our loved one passed away, many times, we look for someone to blame, and in some cases we look into the mirror and blame ourselves. If you’re feeling guilt since the loss of your loved one I encourage you to redirect your attention from feeling guilt and regret, to feeling thankful and Love. Don’t think only about what you could have done; think about what you did do. Don’t think about what you didn’t get to say to your loved one before they passed away, ponder the words you did share. We need to retrain our thought from only thinking about the negative and begin thinking about the positive. This will help you cope better with the passing of our loved one, and give you the strength you need to get thru this difficult time of grief in your life. Tell the judge who has claimed guilty to go home, my friend, it’s time to be set free.   ***Download the new Grief Support iPhone App for $2.99 by visiting the Apple App Store Become a member of the Grief Support Social Network. Meet others who are going thru the grief process, create your own page, upload videos, photos, and chat with counselors for FREE at www.mygriefsupportgroup.ning.com