106. Why Men Can’t Win: And Why Women Need to Hear This

In this episode of After the Affair, host Luke Shillings tackles a frustration many men experience but rarely talk about, the feeling that no matter what they do, they just can't "win" in relationships.

Why do so many men feel like they’re failing with their partner? And why is this something that women need to understand too?

Luke dives into the core reasons behind this feeling, discussing:

• Differences in communication styles between men and women
• The pressure men feel to solve problems rather than express emotions
• How shifting gender roles create confusion and internal conflict for men
• The emotional labour imbalance that often leaves men feeling unseen and unappreciated
• The role of perceived criticism and unspoken expectations in relationships

Whether you're a man who feels like you're constantly falling short in your relationship or a woman wanting to understand what’s going on behind the scenes, this episode is for you. Luke not only explores why men feel like they can’t win but also offers insights into how both partners can work together to shift the dynamic and find balance.

Key Topics Discussed:

1. The "Never Win" Feeling:
   • Why men often feel like their efforts in relationships aren't enough and where that feeling comes from.
2. Communication Differences:
   • How problem-solving vs. emotional connection can create friction in relationships.
3. The Pressure of Shifting Gender Roles:
   • Why modern men struggle to balance traditional expectations with the newer demands of emotional sensitivity and involvement.
4. The Emotional Labor Imbalance:
   • How invisible work in relationships can leave men feeling like they’re losing, even when they’re contributing.
5. Criticism and Unspoken Expectations:
   • Why many men feel constantly criticised and how unspoken expectations can create feelings of helplessness.
6. How to Break the Cycle:
   • Ideas for shifting the dynamic so both partners feel seen, heard, and appreciated in the relationship.

Reflective Question:

Men, have you ever felt like you’re doing everything you can, but it’s never enough? Women, have you noticed this dynamic in your own relationship?

If you’ve ever felt like you can’t "win" in your relationship or want to understand your partner better, this episode is for you. Share it with someone who might benefit from hearing this conversation.

Connect with Luke Shillings:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

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