Chad Rawlings ON: Leaving his LDS mission early, twice. Overcoming Shame and Guilt. Staying engaged in Faith. Helpers that show up in our lives.

Chad Rawlings is a Husband, Father, and Son of God with a lot of faith and courage. Chad definitely rolls up his sleeves and courageously share's his experience coming home early from a full time Mission with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints early not only once but twice.  Young Men and Women that grow up in The Church of Jesus Christ are taught from the time they can say their first words that they should serve a full time mission if at all possible.

 

For young men The Church teaches it is a commandment from God and for young women it is not a commandment but it is highly recommended if they feel prompted to go. At times there are young men and young women that choose not to go and as a result they feel ashamed of themselves, have feelings that they are not worthy, and face judgement by others that belong to the faith. This is not due to any doctrinal teaching from the Church itself, rather it stems as a result from Members of the Church being so close in association and proximity to each other. Each year some young men and women disengage from activity in the Church because of this, and they struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and self worth to the point that some want nothing to do with the Church ever again so they don't have to feel those feelings anymore. These are a few of the reasons that Chad's story and courage to share is so important. 

 

Chad grew up talking about serving, wanting to serve, and eager for the day he turned 19. When it came he explains that he felt ready and excited, but as he entered the Missionary Training Center (MTC) as a 19 year old young man, he was engulfed with anxiety and fear. Unable to eat, sleep, focus in training classes he began to doubt himself and his ability as he saw the other young men and women surrounding him happy, engaged, and able to learn a new language with what seemed at the time ease. The first time he decided to return home early he made it about 2 days, he was no longer able to work through feeling overwhelmed and like he wasn't good enough so he called home to his Mom and Dad and begged them to come pick him up. His parents were frustrated but they loved him and although they didn't know how to process Chad's decision they wanted their son to feel love and value.  One or two weeks after Chad left his mission, he still felt like he really wanted to serve God on a mission. After meeting with his religious leader, the decision was made to try again but this time in hopes that Chad could serve somewhere in the United States and not a foreign land speaking another language. Chad was called to Florida, and was again ready to go feeling passionate again about the opportunity to serve God, but as soon as he stepped into the gates of the MTC and parted with his family, all of the feelings rushed back. He stayed as patient as he could but couldn't sleep, eat, or focus in class and was once again overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy. Chad, again packed up and left the MTC. 

 

Chad shares some very insightful and helpful principles that can help us understand how to show up for people when they feel lost in failure. He talks about the ways God continued to show up for him to help him gain confidence in himself and belief that he could have a successful life full of love, faith, and service to God.

 

Chad lost no value to God because he didn't stay but he did grow in self confidence because he stayed engaged and faithful to God. Chad is a close acquaintance of mine and I have seen him show up over and over again for people who are lost and feeling worthless. Because of what he has faced in his life I have witnessed his ability to recognize people who need to feel loved and then he shows up for them.  Chad, your mission may not be the typical mission, but you have served your mission faithfully. I know that God is pleased with you and you are a hero of mine.